Hope are you supposed to react when you find out some one is touching your child sexually?

Question

My husband and I have just found out that my 14 year old stepson with ADHD has been touching out 4 year old daught. She is my only child and my little girl. I feel like I hate him he is no longer aloud to spend the night! Hope am I suppose to feel or react.

Answer 1

It's normal to feel outraged, angry, hurt, or whatever you feel. The 14 yr old needs immediate counseling about this...he's got to understand how inappropriate his behavior is and that it can NEVER happen again.

Answer 2

Call the police - first of all, ADHD is not a disability that enables a child to NOT be aware of what they are doing or their surrounding. They are very aware and most of the time very smart. If you don't report it then I hate to say this, what kind of mother are you?? Stepson or not, he has already destroyed this little girl unless she gets into some kind of counseling which would have to be intiated by you! React by notifying the proper authories and stopping this from happening to another young girl or child. It is now in your hands.. what are you going to do with that information? Let it slide.. come on... he is 14! He knows better. ADHD is a attention deficit hyperactivity disorder NOT MILD MENTAL RETARDATION which would account for part of his behavior - nope he is diagnosed with an attention disorder which is NOT linked to sexual behavior. Most likely the stepson is prone to sexually molesting or touching from a personal experience himself or he is on the path to being a predator. Do the right thing for you family and get the stepson help and get your family some help - this is not going to get better on its own - if you leave it alone then it will hang in the room like a big elephant for years and your daughter will never be the same. 4 year olds remember things 10 and 20 years down the road - how will she feel then knowing what happened, knowing you knew and didn't do anything about it?? I wish you the best luck - notify the proper authories and stop another little girl from being sexually molested.

Answer 3

Oh my goodness! This is terrible!

Well, I'd say talk things over with your husband TODAY and decide on what you'll do from now on to protect your daughter!
Never allow your stepson to be alone with her- ever!

If your husband tries to defuse the situation and make you feel you are overreacting, hold your ground and don't cave in.
This is something serious and should be treated as such.

Perhaps you could also send your little girl to a child psychologist so damage can be controlled or even reversed.

But start immediately, and put a brake on your stepson's visits. What he is doing is NOT only wrong; it can severely damage your daughter's self-esteem and personality.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Hi.. i'm sorry for your problems, and this is a big one....

You have to realize first and foremost that this is a fourteen year old boy you are talking about... he needs HELP! Maybe he was abused at a younger age? Sometimes sexual abuse is a cycle....

If the boy has in appropriately touched your daughter, your husband and you need to address it.... he needs a therapist, and your husband, especially, needs to be involved in his therapy....

You are the adult -- the boy is FOURTEEN! And has ADHD... NOT any excuse for his behavior, but the kid needs some sort of professional help so he can see that what he is doing is not appropriate.

You should already know how you feel... it's not abnormal to feel sickened, and horrible about what happened. Your daughter has been violated by your step son. Your step son needs help... perhaps it's time to get him some?

take care.

Answer 5

I am so sorry, that is a parents worst nightmare.I would first notify the police becuse ADHD is not like being mentally retarded he knows this is wrong behavior,so he needs to learn a lesson and get help.I hope that you will talk to your husband about getting into see a family counselor.I'm sureI with lots of help your daughter and hopefully your stepson will get better. I hope your daughter is doing good.I agree with your decision and you have every right to feel this way.But I also feel that this could very well have happend to him too for him to do this to your daughter ,so I hope the family counselor will help you understand what is going on with him too.Your daughter needs you and your husband both to protect her right now the most though.Good luck:)

Answer 6

Yikes, hopefully your husband agrees with you that this boy needs help and fast. If he is touching little 4 year olds at 14, he will continue to do it when he's 30. No one should find a 4 year olds body attractive. Get him to a therapist and fast and have him go every day. Hopefully you have solid proof that this is happening. Don't let the kids be alone together.

Answer 7

First, keep them apart and insist that his dad deal with it. If he won't then you need to take care of it to protect your daughter. She doesn't need to be around him. And she is going to need support and lots of understanding from you. He needs some serious counseling intervention. Unfortunately, your family probably needs help to get through this one. It's not something that is easy to deal with on your own.

If you have a church, you might ask the minister for recommendations. If not, then a school counselor might be able to give recommendations. Please don't delay. This is just too complicated to answer in this forum.

Edit: JBN (below) had some wise words. It's entirely possible the son has been abused himself. This needs immediate attention.

And don't ever, ever, ever let anyone make you feel guilty for protecting your daughter and trying to get help for your stepson. You are not the bad person here!

Answer 8

call the police and report him and let him know that this is totally unexceptable,then he needs to get immediate counseling and your daughter might need some as well. the whole family could benefit with it as well. the son,might of had some abuse in his earlier years as well and is acting out. it doesnt matter if he has adhd,thats no excuse and it needs to be nipped in the bud immediately. his father needs to take charge and makes sure this never happens again and he would not be allowed in my house ever again. i would feel so much anger,i dont know if i could control it,to be honest with you. yous have your work cut out for you. i would contact a pastor and talk with him and see what kind of advice he could help you with first. i sincerly wish you the best of luck

Answer 9

He needs to go to counseling. That is a sign that he may have been sexually abused. I understand that you are upset and yes you need to protect your daughter but there maybe a reason that he is that way so he needs help also.


edit: I grew up around a guy that was ADHD and he was abused no one knew until the one time he lashed out against a girl his age.

Answer 10

Get help! I can tell you from experience I was a victim of abuse by my mothers boyfriend and she ignored it. Eventually I found out what happened and how she ignored it. Now I haven't talked to her in 10years. Protect your daughter first abd foremost. Do whatever it takes to h
get him help. But no matter how much you love him. Without help he'll do it again and she'll never forgive you for not protecting her when you could've.
I hope everything works out the best it can

Answer 11

He needs to be seen by a professional doctor, NOW! That is a very smart first move on your part by not allowing him to be in the house. Whether he has ADHD or not - it is not right! Nip it in the bud now before he starts doing it when he's 25 or 35 or 45 or 55....