My wife gave birth 20 months ago and she is STILL wearing her pregnancy clothes. All the weight she gained during her pregnancy is still there and she has shown no motivation AT ALL to lose it.
Because her best friend keeps putting weight on (because her man likes larger women) she seems to think I wouldn't mind that either. I have asked her nicely to lose some weight as she is also a chronic asthmatic but she still seems to think that she'll be O.K.
Her mother keeps saying " You look good dear" everytime she see's her and this pisses me off even more as she thinks that mummy thinks shes losing weight when she is not!
We went on a holiday a short time ago and she saw a nice dress ($160.00) that she liked but the size was a size to small, so I said I'd buy her that dress if she lost the required weight by xmas, and give it to her as a xmas present, but as I was about to buy it she said no don't worry about it.
She's just too lazy to bother losing it.
Any advice please!
2007-12-16 11:40:10 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
For Annie.. She is just lazy, she is very hard to motivate she aways has been.
I am a stay at home dad so she really has 'bugger all' to be depressed about. But that may be my next course of action!
2007-12-16 11:50:55 · update #1
Is she lazy or maybe with the new baby she is a little depressed and thinking that her weight is too much of an effort to lose. Maybe you could talk to her about taking walks together as a family. Also workout together while watching a movie or TV or to some good music she likes. This helps many women after giving birth. It takes time, please be patient. DO it together!
2007-12-16 11:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm
This is a tough situation....
First of all, how old is your wife?
How much weight does she have to lose?
What is her pre and post pregnancy size?
If she is from 20-30, it is kind of surprising that she would be so reluctant to lose the weight. Maybe it is your pressure that is causing her to want to do the opposite...in my situation I know if I felt that my husband was unnecessarily or overly concerned with my post-pregnancy weight I would be a little annoyed and as a passive aggressive reaction I would show a complete lack of concern for the weight. Maybe you should completely back off for awhile and show a lot of interest in other women. Don't push it to a really inappropriate level, but just make sure to look a little longer than usual at attractive thin women you two see out together, pause on commercials of them, look at her women's magazine's showing interest in their form, buy a copy of Shape magazine but NOT for her...for you...take it into the bathroom with you and look the door, making sure she noticed. This may all seem a bit outrageous, but it will work as long as it doesn't cause a huge argument. If she brings it up, tell her you barely noticed you were doing it, and that you can't help subconscious physical attraction. Make her a little mad so that she has an "I'll show you!" attitude.
Also, bring out old pictures of her and the two of you, comment on how great she looked and how she'll probably look even better than that once she takes off the baby weight...try and say this subtly, not obviously.
Focus on your own diet and exercise. If you are trying to get her to lose weight but you are still eating everything you want and being lethargic, than do you honestly expect her to want to lose weight for Mr.hypocritical? Keep only healthy food in the house and tell your wife that you really want to have a healthy family. Exercise and invite her to come along, take walks with her, make her feel like it is not just her who needs to be put on some special regimen and that you are in this together. Adopt a routine that includes rising early together and working out together. Make her feel beautiful before, after, and during workouts. If she starts to lose weight, comment positively, but not in a condescending nature.
Instead of: "wow, you're finally losing weight, thank god, you're going to look so great."
Look at her for awhile, pause, smile, and say: "You really get more beautiful with each day, I am so proud of your dedication, I love you."
Seriously...this will make a difference.
Make her really want to lose weight for herself and for you and she will find motivation.
2007-12-16 12:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by Yejina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could be the post-delivery blues... a special hormonal depression common to new mothers... it can hang around for more than a year.
Haul her to the doctor for some blood-tests and examination... and perhaps a referral to another doctor.
2007-12-16 13:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go and buy her a gym membership for Christmas and be all exited about it ..buy your self one to even though you may not need it............... tell her on Christmas day that this would be something fun we can do together and give her a hug ..... and take her to the gym next time its opened.and in courage her to go for a walk......... perhaps of an evening or when you finish work ...get the baby sorted your self and put child in pram............show enthusiasm...and you should get results
2007-12-16 11:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's uncomplicated to describe. you notice, in case you remembered some thing which you had before forgotten to keep in mind when you consider which you probably did not make optimistic to overlook what had before been forgotten to keep in mind, then you definately can't probably overlook what you have been attempting to make optimistic to overlook.
2016-10-11 10:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋