do having children make a marriage better, are worst.?

Question

i am asking this question here in this forum, because, i want a good opinion, i have asked this same question at my work place to mostly men, most the men i asked there said that they dont wont kids ever as it would ruin their relationships, and they wont to keep that spark, in their marriage are relationship without the worries of kids, interfering,, they said kids would spoil their private times and their away too expensive now aday, on the other hand i did have two kids and my marriage did break- up as the kids consumed all my time, but that would not stop me from ever having again, also my sister been married for 8 years and no kids yet she feel the same as the men i talked to.. no kids make a better solid carefree easy lifestyle, but as i said i love kids and would do it again but at this point my sons grown so now i am alone again only now my age has stopped me, i wanna know what anyone here think? about it plz all opinions thank you.

i am only lookin for independent opinions, from men are women, plz only serious replies its important to me to know what people really think about this... thank you again.

Answer 1

only an immature selfish man wouldn't want children. kids have nothing to do with it, its the man u choose to marry. if he is all into himself then he isn't going to welcome kid's, if he is insecure, he will see the kids as taking from him. many men change for the better once the kids come, and than theres the others who run away from the responsibility. just depends on the man u pick.

Answer 2

I have 4 kids 7, 6, 4, an almost 2 they consume every spare second I/we have but I wouldn't trade them for a life w/o the money problems,the expensive clothes,or a free life! Kids bring joy an happiness to a marriage not pain an regret! I agree some people are not meant to be parents but I love my hard life an seeing my kids smiling everyday or saying I love you mommy makes every hard day worth it!!!Men only say they don't want kids because they don't have as much responsibility as the women do! All men say that, the ones who don't have kids anyhow! I had 2 kids that I raised alone for yrs. an I was the happiest person alive an now with 4 I can do it just as well so really women don't need men to have or raise kids! Today women can have kids alone! I am at peace with my life! My husband do your day to catch up on things we really don't have time during the week to say! I'm glad my life isn't carefree, I like my busy life!

Answer 3

The truth? Children can make a good marriage better, and a bad one worse. And even that depends on what both parties to the marriage want.
I have never heard of a bad marriage being "fixed" in more than a temporary manner by adding a child to it. In fact, if the partner didn't agree to having children, either ever, or at that time, then they can come to feel trapped in the marriage, and may well use that as the very excuse to either cheat or leave.
It can enrich the love between two people who both want children, but that's not to say that it doesn't come with some added stresses too.
Having a child means making adjustment to your lifestyle (and if you don't want that, don't have kids!) and it can be hard if one person perceives that they have had to make more of an adjustment than their partner. Or if one feels that they have "lost" something because of the child's presence in their lives.

***By the way, those men you work with sound very immature and selfish, basing their lives on "wants". Its better then that they don't have kids - they are not ready.

Answer 4

This is a tough question. I think that nowadays, people have far more choices about their lifestyles because of contraception and having more money to travel and go out. Some people do not value family life as they didn't experience it much. I still think that, on balance, having my children has given me a great deal of joy - but also a lot of misery and sleepless nights. It has done very little for my marriage except make me think harder about whether I would prefer to be single.....I think being a single parent is far more fulfilling and more pleasant than being in a couple with children. I enjoy playing with the kids, taking them places, eating with them, talking to them, teaching them....I love all of that but my partner feels he doesn't. Which is a shame. I think he gets quite jealous - particularly of my son (not his) as its obvious we have a bond and my husband can't compete with it. So, I would say, if both partners enjoy family life, then its a joy. If only one does, its a nightmare and if neither enjoy it then they have the option to not do it at all. I am also not entirely sure its biologically natural to have the man around all the time. It would be much better if he just visited a few days a week! Women are much happier in the company of other women and men eventually become far more of a drain on the family than any child could be.

Answer 5

Honestly, I feel that children can only make a good marriage better, and a bad marriage worse. Children should not come in the way of feelings for your spouse. The married couple should have a clear understanding that children are not there to take the "spark" away but they should be seen as symbol of love between the couple.It will be tough to balance the two, but hey, many MANY people have done it and you can too. But the couple has to remember not to forget about the spouse. Yes, the kids are important, but so is the spouse (after all, the spouse was around first)

Answer 6

Basically it all comes down to the timing. If both are mature and secure enough to have children because kids put a huge demand and responsibility on any marriage. Now ifa couple is not ready for parenthood and goes ahead anyway,its a recipe for disaster. Accidents do happen and can ruin the best relationship if they werent prepared for parenthood. Couples have to be prepared to have their lifes altered drastically especially in the first few years. Being a parent is the best most challenge any one can encounter and the most rewarding in life. Most men delay fatherhood as they dont like long term committments and demanding responsibilities that go with kids which is typical of men

Answer 7

Kids make a marriage DIFFERENT. Not better, not worse. Any major problems and issues need to be addressed before having them, because they do tend to strain problems. The good times are much better with kids. Intimate times are more special, but also less frequent, as kids do demand some of your time. It's important to work to keep the flame lit, but just like a marriage without kids, it takes some effort.

Answer 8

I have two great kids and a wonderful wife having my kids when i was 22 and 24 made me more mature and responsible in my relationship with my wife if u was to ask her she would tell u the same having kids are great if u are ready and truly in love and kids don't spoil private times u just have to reschedule them and i think it creates more romantic moments when u have to sneak around a little bit

Answer 9

I definitely have 4 young little ones 7, 6, 4, an purely approximately 2 they eat each and every spare 2nd I/we've yet i would not commerce them for a existence w/o the money issues,the costly outfits,or a loose existence! young little ones deliver exhilaration an happiness to a marriage no longer soreness an remorseful approximately! I agree some each and every person isn't meant to be mum and dad yet i admire my no longer complication-free existence an seeing my young little ones smiling accepted or asserting i admire you mommy makes each and every no longer complication-free day worth it!!!adult men purely say they do no longer choose young little ones by fact they don't have as plenty accountability by fact the girls do! All adult men say that, people who don't have young little ones in any case! I had 2 young little ones that I raised on my own for yrs. an i develop into the happiest individual alive an now with 4 i will do it purely besides so particularly females do no longer choose adult men to have or advance young little ones! at present females could have young little ones on my own! i'm at peace with my existence! My husband do your day to atone for issues we actually don't have time for the duration of the week to assert! i'm happy my existence isn't carefree, i like my busy existence!

Answer 10

It's nice having kids, but your marriage is never the same as it was. You don't get the time together and the 'in love' feeling tends to wear off when you're both tired from looking after the home and kids.

Women tend to get saddled with all the childcare AND housework too and that can lead to resentment which does kill feelings of love.

Answer 11

What children bring to a marriage is up to those who bring the children into the world or not. Everyone has to make their own decisions whether they want children or not and it should be discussed long before a couple gets to the point of marriage because if one partner wants children and the other doesn't want children the marriage WILL suffer if chldren are brought into it.