I'm terrified of driving?

Question

For years I've been having recurring nightmares of finding myself alone in a car and crashing it (sometimes into people...Vice City style...) eventually. A few weeks ago I started driving lessons and now I'm slightly less afraid of driving when I'm conscious but the nightmares persist and I'm constantly imagining horrible scenes where I crash and kill my passengers and ruin my life because of it. I really don't know how to get over this phobia. I'm terrified of losing control. I just wish I didn't have to learn to drive but it's "an important life skill" so I don't really have a choice...

P.S. I'm 17, if that has any relevance.

Answer 1

I understand your fear and though it may be a little more severe than most, the nightmares and general "terrified" feelings are normal for anyone learning how to drive. However, your problem is probably based on a lack of confidence on your part. It is as if you do not trust yourself enough to take control and safely drive a vehicle. There are a few methods you can use to get over this. This answer is a bit long but stick with me to the end...I promise this will be able to help you.

Practice is the first and foremost method for getting over any fear. The more you drive and gain confidence in your driving skills, the less you will have these recurring nightmares.

Visualization is another great tool to utilize. Before going to bed, or any time of the day when you begin to feel anxiety about driving try to visualize a positive driving experience. Close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, and try to clearly picture in your mind a great car ride. No one is harmed, there are no accidents, and you are confindently in control of your vehicle. I know this idea sounds kind of hoaky but it is a proven method and, with practice, can be very helpful and effective.

Gain feedback. Whenever you have anyone in the car with you ask them to point out the positive things you are doing. After hearing what you are doing correctly from several different people, you will no longer worry about your lack of skills in that area. This repetative positive recognition will be physical proof to you that you have gained valuable driving skills and can utilize them to efficiently and safely drive.

Medication. If this fear becomes debilitating and you have tried several other methods, you may have a real phobia of driving that could be caused by several factors. If you have the means, go to a psychologist and get on a low dosage anti-anxety. Not only will the psychologist be able to help you overcome your fear, but you will be able to drive with a much calmer demeanor and the fear will no longer be debilitating.

Answer 2

You are of course correct in saying that being able, and holding a license to drive, is a useful life skill. It can of course also be useful for broadening the range of jobs you will be able to apply for at some time in your life. You are only 17 years old however, so there really isn't any great need to rush.

It is quite possible that you are experiencing some degree of peer pressure to get your license and own a car, even if this is on a subconscious level. But if you really don't feel safe about driving, it is not an absolute requirement for living. Many thousands of people do not drive, or even want to drive, so you are not alone. And just because you have some fear of driving (or anything else for that matter), does not necessarily mean you have 'a phobia'.

Bearing in mind the number of traffic accidents we all frequently see, read or hear about in the news, your fears may well seem to be quite justified (at least from your perspective), and on that basis you are simply realistically acknowledging the known risks, and assessing them to be significant enough to warrant your not being involved in that particular activity a a matter of personal choice. This, to me. would seem to be a perfectly reasonable and sensible decision to make if your judgement of the potential dangers is such.

You don't say whether your fears and nightmares are solely about you being involved in accidents where you personally are the driver, or whether you have the same fears about travelling in cars where someone else is the driver.

There is a significant difference between the two which could affect the manner in which you respond to, or attempt to deal with such issues. But for the moment , all you need to do is stop worrying about needing to drive, or learn to drive. Some of your anxiety is almost certainly stemming from that concern, rather than the actual driving persé.

At your age, it is probably more important that you should be devoting your efforts to your educational qualifications, which I'm sure are quite stressful enough on their own. If you find that your nightmares or your waking fears persist however, you could perhaps try seeing a Counsellor who has some skills in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Or you could get some books on the subject and try to work through self therapy. It is not 'a cure', but it can help to alter one's perspective on issues such as those you are experiencing.

Answer 3

Hi,
Your fear is more common than you might expect. I agree with the answer of imagining the car that you will drive, going through the steps in your mind, seeing everything going well, before you go to sleep. This may help with the dreams.
Also, you specifically mentioned "Vice City style", in your question. It's possible something about the game stuck in your subconscious, where it would not in most people.
Like "Jaws" the movie made some people afraid of the ocean.
You will benefit from driving lessons. You will be able to learn to drive, while someone else can take control if you freeze or have a problem.
The only way to overcome our fears is to face them. Go slowly, drive in areas with very little traffic to begin with. You'll do fine, and slowly your confidence will build.
If you find that you still simply can not overcome this by yourself, there are counselors that work with overcoming phobias and you sound like you're going to do whatever it takes to overcome this fear.
GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 4

Driving on the motorway is EASIER than driving around town, your concerns are invalid as it's a long, straight-ish road with most people going a similar speed. Just pay attention, signal to change lanes, always check your blind spot before changing lanes, and leave a decent (at least 2 second) gap between you and the car in front. Try to stay to the inside lane if you're nervous, at least that way you only have traffic on one side of you. There are many people who've been driving for YEARS who still don't like or refuse to go on motorways!

Answer 5

I have started driving this summer (i am 19 and i received my driving license this may) i found the following things useful:
First of all once u start driving you will find that everything is done in a very organized way, other people don't want to crash into you, so they will always pay attention to what you are doing in front of them. If you do something very stupid, they will break, and if they didn't have a distance enough for that, it is their fault, so they are the ones paying for the damage... Just avoid driving close to cars in front (keep a safe distance of 4-5 seconds) and overtaking them while they are turning, simply because they may not see you while performing a maneuver (due to the blind zones in the mirrors) and remember to always use the flashing lights and to use ur mirrors and to never brake or accelerate fast without necessity. This way other drivers will always know what you are doing.
If you are afraid of loosing control i would recommend getting a modern car with ABS, this should really shorten the braking distance. and most importantly a four wheel drive... You will be amazed how much control it gives you :)

As your first car i would recommend Audi A3 quattro
http://www.audi.co.uk/audi/uk/en2/new_cars/a3/a3_sportback.html

Answer 6

This is a pretty common phobia, and I've known several people who are just terrified of driving. One of my friends (we were 17) refused to learn to drive and to this day (we're both 37 now) still does not drive anywhere.

When you are first learning to drive, it's more common to be nervous. I too used to fear that I would crash the car and hurt people, but practice and more time behind the wheel helped me get over my fear.

Try to have an experienced driver sit in with you when you drive and offer pointers. I am sure that you are probably a careful driver anyway, but sometimes it helps to get some positive reinforcement from others you trust.

Answer 7

Your fear is actually a healthy one. I say this because most people who get into accidents do so within the first 5 years of getting their drivers license. The drivers lessons are designed to help give you the experience and training you need to avoid getting into accident. You nightmares and fears will diminish as your skill improves. The fact you are this concerned this early generally means you care more about how you drive than most and will most likely work harder at listing to your instructors and parents advise at becoming the best driver you can.

Unfortunately because car companies have fought mass transit that works in other countries, Americans must drive more than in any other country. Practice, practice and practices and as your skill level grows and your confidence increases, you will be fine.

Answer 8

Some people are never comfortable with driving. Giving time and experience your fears/concerns should be lower and lower as you practice and drive more.

When you are laying in bed, relaxed, close your eyes and think of driving the car. Picture yourself starting the car, pulling out of the driveway, and driving down the street for a couple of blocks, and then home and pulling the car in the driveway. As you are imagining you are driving, make yourself relax and see that nothing is happening but the fun of driving. Do this every night for the next week while you actually practice the exact driving in a car.

Answer 9

the more you drive the more confident you,ll get the dreams are just a fear that everyone has about certain things yours happens to be driving,i have one about heights,i wont go above 12 feet off the ground on a latter,whether or not anyone will admit it they also have a fear,my wife's has fears of drowning,you learn to over come these fears by doing the one thing that scares you the most,it will go away after a while,what your fearing could happen to anyone at anytime,we could get in to an accident and hurt someone or our self,that's a chance even i take when i drive,no one can guarantee you this wont happen,it something you deal with when it happens,but don't fear it happening,because it probably wont ever happen,practice driving the more you drive the more your fear will turn in to trust,good luck ,hope this will help you.

Answer 10

you just have to calm down. Unless you go to fast, you shouldn't have a problem. Most crashes are caused by people running red lights, or going to fast. Honestly, you shouldn't have a problem. I had the same problem. Once I get behind the wheel of a car, you have to be conscious of everything around you, and it's a real pain. But you have to be ready for anything, a kid running accross a street around a corner you can't see, anything. You just have to be ready. That should help, if it doesn't, you have to do what you normally do to get rid of a phobia, face your fear.