I was with my boyfriend for 5 yrs, since I was 17 yrs old. I go to school full time 2 hrs away from and we dated 3 yrs before I moved to a different school I will be going to grad school soon since I just got accepted. Im smart Im pretty I treat him really nice and always have. I feel so used! He cheated on me when we first started dating w/ his ex and i didnt find out til yr 2 and forgave him cuz of how "sorry" he was and then i found out about more lies, he started hanging out w some girl he met at work more than we were hanging out we fought like crazy he went behind my back to hang out w her, i found out he was doing drugs like coke and x occasionally, found out he was going to strip clubs.... the thing is, when he's with me and around me he was so sweet and sincere told me he wanted to marry me, how proud he was of me so much more.... and at the same time all of that I listed above - i feel like he doesnt love me at all or never did (relationship just ended a week ago)
2007-12-16 10:06:31 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just feel so worthless, and i feel like i was never loved and I feel like i was used and meant absolutely nothing to him... I dont even know how to ever trust anyone or open my heart to anyone again, im so vulnerable ..... what do i do? why did he do this to me??
2007-12-16 10:07:18 · update #1
people who do drugs tend to lie to the ones they love.. he has a problem becuase you are smart attractive and can get anyone you want and I suggest you do.. he sounds like he is walking a different path to you and your realtionship won't last any longer if he continues to lie to you and treat you badley
2007-12-16 10:11:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is a big lesson for you in the fact that some people are just lying players, and you did NOTHING to deserve hooking up with this kind of person. Anytime we take the risk of loving, we take a risk of being hurt too. Unfortunately, you gave the WRONG person a second chance. NOW you know. Do NOT take him back unless you want to go through this a third, fourth, and fifth time. He's proven more than once he's NOT trustworthy. Not all people do this. The thing is, you have to learn to watch for red flags that will tell you a lot about a person's true colors. As women, we tend to overlook these sometimes, and blow it off as him having a bad day, or "every man does that", etc. We SHOULDN'T do that. If we pay attention to the red flags that wave before us, we might save ourselves some of the heartbreak we would have to endure, simply by paying attention to our intuitive inner voice. If something doesn't seem right, take notice right away. That person just might not be who they say they are. Good luck, and I'm sorry you have to go through this, but keep in mind that the only alternative to possibly getting hurt by someone is to not love at all, and to me, that's an even worse fate than the possibility that you might get hurt....and you are hearing from a woman hurt by both husbands in her life. I'm STILL confident that someone will see my value and my worth some day. The trick is YOU have to see if first and not accept the crumbs that fall from the table. People treat us the way we show them is acceptable. Learn to take nothing less than love, honesty, respect, and adoration, and that's what you'll end up with. Good luck.
2007-12-16 10:14:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have no reason to feel worthless. If you want worthless look at your boyfriend. He figured if you came back once you would keep coming back. You deserve much better. It will take time for all of this to go away and don't listen to anymore BS stories from this guy. Finish your school and get on with your life. He would'nt do anything but drag you down. Sooner or later someone will see you for the person you really are. Have some patience and meanwhile the only person you need to be true to is yourself
2007-12-16 10:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by jerry b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up and learn the facts of life before you have to keep learning the hard way:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike the other answers you will get.
2007-12-16 13:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh Sweetie, I am soooo sorry you are going through this!! You do not deserve it, and it is such a bad time of year to find out all of this stuff!! Not all men are like this, so that is good!! You are having a hard time with all of this, because YOU are the one that was deceived!! Just think, YOU are the lucky one, because you have all of your priorities together!!! Thank Goodness, you are not him!! On drugs, cheating, going to nude places, and stabbing loved ones in the back!! Really, what comes around, goes around, and when he sobers up, he WILL realize what he had and lost!! I just PRAY that you are strong enough to NOT FALL FOR HIS WOES!! Please don't, because he will come crying back to you and you have to be strong enough to say NO to him!! Until then, just focus on YOU!! It is your turn now!! Do what you want, have fun with school and friends and work, go on some dates and rekindle some old flames!! Good Luck to you, you deserve it!!
2007-12-16 10:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by meloni o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it as a learning experience and try to remember all the little tail tail signs that lead you to believe he was doing things behind your back, so you will know what to look for and what to ask other people you date....You are still real young and you can get over this pretty easy....Just accept this guy is a jerk and move on....You shouldn't waste your time thinking about him...because he didn't waste time thinking about you, going to strip clubs, doing drugs, etc etc...now did he??
2007-12-16 10:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can read these sites> Your lucky>Your feeling got hurt have a pity party move on>You didn't marry him> Have a pile of children> Left alone with nothing>You have your youth> Good Looks? education> Lifes ahead of you> Learn from the past> don't repeat it>Sorry for the blunt but your old enough to see the after the first time
2007-12-16 10:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to hurt for awhile but your going to be just fine. People do soooo much changing from 17 to 22. It's best that you find out what a creep he really is before it was to late and you married him ya know? Let yourself cope and grieve, eat ice cream and sappy movies. Then, when your ready, things will start to look up. Be with friends right now and go out and have some fun. Forget about studying for one night and go out on the town. I personally think that you need to experience dating a few guys before you find the right one. He wasn't the right one, so move on. Your going to learn from your mistakes, thats the best way to learn. Your young and like you said, smart, pretty and kind to people. Your going to find a guy who deserves you in time. Enjoy being single!!!!
2007-12-16 10:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by sun day 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hey Missy !!!! STOP and listen to what you just said . sounds like he was never good and using drugs only says that at times he didn't know who or what he is about . You have been used yes and that happens all the time ,not making you a looser . Your young so just move on and log that in your heart as a bad lesson but never forget it .
You will only get in life what you let people give you ,good or bad the choice really is all yours ,Move on in life ,you will have more sad experiences as you go ,that is life tho .take care
2007-12-16 10:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by STREETROD23T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk. And so are many many many of us guys! We want one thing and one thing only. Whoopie! Everything we do revolves around this focus. Even the guys at church are like this. Best thing for you to do is wait till you can give a guy all of your focus. No school, just wait till you graduate, then you can be there so he won't do too much looking elsewhere. To say your ex b/f has needs is a bunch of garbage. Guys just don't go to strip clubs on a whim. They go there because they are scum. You are far better off! Good luck girl!
2007-12-16 10:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
from the sound of it he doesn't love himself enough to love you and you should really be thankful it's over, simply because you do not want the burden of a drug addict. the hurt will lesson and when you are finally rid of those feelings for this person, you will see clear as to why you picked such a person to care for - you grew up and he's still stuck into partying and getting into everything and everyone - be thankful and you should always know not to settle and had you stuck it out w/him that's just what you would have been doing - good luck
2007-12-16 10:15:46 · answer #11 · answered by lynnette 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋