Okay, my husband and I have been going though some major problems. Now, he's in Georgia and I'm in Arizona. But, we talked. He wants to come back out here and work on us. I want to say yes, but I'm having a hard time with it. I love him, just he's a mama's boy. To the point of where she talked him into going back to the Boro. So yeah, what do I do? Do I tell him to come back out and hope for the best, or expect the worst, and have him stay out there?
2007-12-16 09:42:09 · 15 answers · asked by Monique Andrea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd let him come back if he's willing to spend some major time working to solve some problems. You say he's a "mama's boy." That's a tough one to handle. But, if you think of it, there are so many worse things he could be accused of.
However, it's okay to calmly let him know why you resent the situation with his mother. Then listen to his side of the story. The two of you might have to work out a solution together that will allow him to respect his mom, but show you the respect you deserve as his wife. It can be done.
Best wishes!
2007-12-16 09:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by Woods 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would let him come home. Marriage is a lot of work and it doesn't stop. You married him for better or worse etc. You need to have serious talks and make changes especially if he is a mama's boy. His mother needs to back off so you can have a marriage without interfering. She needs to mind her own business because if she doesn't your marriage will fail. Fight for your marriage. This marriage is a 2 way street not a 1 way street. If you both cannot agree then you will have nothing but problems
2007-12-16 10:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya. I think you know that, if he does come back, you can work at it all you want but if he doesn't give up his mama to favour you, his wife, nothing will make this work. I don't know his mother or her circumstances but he clearly is being put in the position of having to choose. This is his mothers own fault - had she kept her beak out and her mouth shut, she would have you both. As it is, mother is likely to lose her son and you - at least I think thats the way it will head. There is no other way forward for your marriage really. Good luck in whatever you choose to do. Think of yourself first though and everyone else second. Its too much of a huge decision to bring in complications!
2007-12-16 09:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First ask him what has changed? I mean one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different outcome. Next tell him you have some expectations, list them, and ask him if he thinks that he can meet them. Then ask him to come up with an equally small list of expectations for you (and Mommy doesn't get to help) and find if you can abide by them. If they conflict with yours he's not trying and the relationship is a bust. If they are impossible to achieve he still needs time to mature, but, there is hope. If they are too easy then he is desperate and will say anything to come back. Tell him to start over and give some thought to his responses!
2007-12-16 09:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 people you will never compete with and win his children & his mother>Except 2 place or except none> Places change people don't>You can be replaced with another> His mother can't be relaced> Sorry fact not fiction>Get a real man 1 that wants you not 1that works on you>Good luck have a Merry Christmas>
2007-12-16 10:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is pretty tough. Talk with him and ask him what he feels has changed that he thinks it would work this time, ask him what he feels has to or needs to change, before it will work. Both need to see clearly and admit to the same problem, before it can be worked on. If he does not see, or admit to this problem or that of it's ability to interfere with the relationship, then i would have to say there's nothing to work on, henceforth he should stay where he is, as there's no problem between him and his mama.
2007-12-16 10:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by ferochira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him to come back only if he is willing to listen to his wife (you) and respect your wish. its ok that he is a mama boy, but it is a problem if he is having his mom make all the decision without involving you. dont give up easilly on your marriage, it seems like you both love each other enough to want to try to make it work so do that. listen to him, and he should do the same.
2007-12-16 09:47:29 · answer #7 · answered by mama2be 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is still a Mama's boy, it will not work, he will always pick her over you, and take her advice over yours! Believe me, I know!! Let him be, you will be better off! Good Luck!!
2007-12-16 10:07:05 · answer #8 · answered by meloni o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we don't know the results of our actions. If I will say no to him I will be sorry that I didn't give him a chance, if I will say yes maybe it will not work and will take a lot out energy out of me. My answer to you is to take the chance and limit it with time.
2007-12-16 09:53:43 · answer #9 · answered by Orit 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you want to try it, then take the chance.
If the first go around left you limp and not wanting more, then don't.
You take a risk of him doing the same old stuff.
The positive side of that, is once you've given someone the "second chance", then you don't feel so guilty if they do it again, and you bail.
Either way, it's okay to do what you need to do for YOU because if WE don't take care of ourselves, then WHO will?
Good luck, either way.
2007-12-16 09:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋