I have a deep dark secret?

Question

I don't ever want to tell anyone, but I feel like I'm not sharing with my husband. I don't think he would understand.
It's pretty bad. What would you do if the secret would make everyone you know hate you?

Answer 1

Depends if it would EVER possibly be found out.
Log on as someone different, totally anonymously state what you have done and see what people would say, for if say, you was previously a man, yeah, tell him soon. If you were abused in the past, tell him, he might be able to help you and he won't hate you at all. But if, say, you set fire to someones house by accident, but no one will ever trace it to you, and its all blown over, leave it there. (Bad example, but I couldn't think of anything else)

Answer 2

If it is something that happened prior to you knowing your husband then that is your business ONLY! If it is something that you have done since the two of you have been married that would effect your marriage then that is a different story. I think it all depends on what the secret is. If it is something that will not hurt anyone but yourself then it is YOUR business. Does anyone else know your secret that could "bust" you out? Did you cheat? Do you have a disease? I mean, see.....it all depends on what your secret is. It really depends upon how it is hurting you by keeping this secret. If it is weighing heavy on your mind on a daily basis then come clean. If it would be worse to come clean, then keep the secret. Ya know? Would you lose your husband over this or would he simply be disappointed in you? You just really need to sit and think about ALL these things. With that being said......If it happened prior to you knowing your husband and there is nothing left over from the secret that could come back and haunt your life now then I say KEEP MUM....No use in opening up a big bad can of worms!!!!!!

Answer 3

Maybe if you could give us more of a hint of what the secret is - even what category it's in - we could help you more. Just keep in mind that the secret often hurts the person who keeps it as much - if not more - than the person you're hiding it from. What's the worst thing that could happen if someone found out? Then what would you do? Why did you keep the secret in the first place? If you made a mistake, the best thing to do is usually to admit it - sooner rather than later - when it's easier to deal with.

Answer 4

If you think it's hindering your relationship, then you need to do something about it. Perhaps bring up the general topic to him as a casual question to sound him out. If you want to get really close to the fire, ask him how he'd react if you told him you murdered someone...(hope that's NOT your secret!), and watch him closely. After little hints here and there, you may finally be ready and comfortable to tell him the truth. Just be prepared for everything. Remind him how you love each other through thick and thin, being best buddies, etc. He may just say it's ok, don't matter anymore, but it might pop up every now and then in moments of anger, etc. Just accept it as part of the process.

Answer 5

If it was going to cause undue pain to people, and nothing good would come of it, I would just keep it to myself. Unless I'd gotten pregnant by another man or something. In that case, I'd feel obligated to let him know the truth, as he'd have a right to know and decide whether he really wanted to be with me or not.
If it was eating away at me, I'd maybe tell because life is too short to live in personal anguish all the time.
Again, like everyone else says, it depends on the secret, and whom it would affect the most.

Answer 6

Don't tell....

Take some comfort in the fact that your hubby probably has a similar secret... Perhaps he does not tell for fear of hurting you.

Some good can come from this. Exchange the guilt of your past secret for an unwaivering honesty (with your hubby) going forward.

Answer 7

your not alone .
I would bet my last dollar that everyone on this planet has a dark secret they will take to the grave with them , Why be different about yours ???
Just make your love with your Husband all you can and that will make up for not saying a word.
If you told and all broke lose it still wouldn,t change what happened and never will !!!!!

Answer 8

Tough question!! I believe in being open and honest with your spouse but some things, if they happened BEFORE you married him, need to be left unsaid. This probably is one of them. Ask God for forgiveness and then forgive yourself. There's no reason to open a can of worms that may damage your marriage. We've all done some pretty bad things we wouldn't want anyone to know. Life needs to be about the future, not the past.

Answer 9

Without knowing it, I couldn't tell you what to do. If you feel you can't shar it, then don't. You are posting here and you obviously seem to want to get it out. My advice would be that if you are being eaten up by this, holding it in will only make it worse. You want to tell someone. He is supposed to understand, he is your husband, unless you cheated on him, then you have a bigger problem. Wish I could help you more, but without knowing the problem I think you are stuck. You need to find someone that isn't going to judge you. If you want to email me, feel free. At least find someone on here, you seem to want to get it out.

Answer 10

if I told you that it wouldn't be my very darkest secret. I have a crush on my Ex wife's female friend. Don't tell but she's hot