How do I get my wife to be more in the "mood"? Lately (last couple of months) my wife has been showing less and less interest in us making love. I know that she is not having an affair, bacause she is either at work or at home, or we are out x-mas shopping or whatever. We aren't having any relationship issues, Neither one of us has gained or lost any weight, and her career is going well, she actually just got a propmotion last week. I am lost.
2007-12-16 08:51:17 · 10 answers · asked by Camden O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could just be that this is a busy time of the year which often causes people to be stressed out or tired.
Try something new to stimulate her mind and senses. Nothing is sexier than a creative and intelligent mind so why not try something that will catch her off guard and really seduce her? I don't know your wife and have no idea what makes her wild, but you probably do. If you are wondering if there are fantasies she may have that you don't know about, just ask her! Then you can put yourself to work in order to make them come true.
I hope you two make sparks fly. Good luck!
2007-12-16 08:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Synnovea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may just be under more stress at work with the new promotion. More responsibility, more stress. If she was working hard to make sure she got that promotion, it must have been taking a lot of emotional energy.
Try to take over more things at home. Help out more with housework and the kids if you have them. Let her have a little rest time before you finally get to bed and you might be surprised. Many men just don't get it, they ignore the wife all evening, leave her to take care of all the chores, then wonder why she suddenly isn't in the mood. Set aside to talk, give her your full attention for a short while when you both get home and settled in. Most women resent a husband who will not talk, does nothing affectionate all evening, then when he has nothing left to watch on TV, finally gets into bed, he wants her to be all interested. Believe me, it's a turn off for most women. When is the last time you gave your wife a compliment? Let her know you still find her attractive.
Start early in the day. Be your wife's affair. Send her a loving message during the day. Give her a call on the way home. Offer to take over dinner responsibilities. Turn off the TV for awhile. Help get the kids ready for bed. Just do it, but be careful you don't rub it in that you are only doing it to get more! (Another turn off moment).
Work on understanding better what makes HER feel loved. Everyone is different and don't assume it is what YOU want. Men and women tend to have different priorities.
Try the following books:
"Fall in Love, Stay in Love" by W. Harley
"The Five Love Languages" by Chapman.
Most men laugh at the idea that helping out at home or just taking time to talk to their wife will get them laid, but give it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised.
2007-12-16 11:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal for that part of the marriage to kinda slow down after a while but it picks up again too. How long have you two been married? I know that with me and my now soon to be ex, we would plan nights out together and once we got home he would start off slow with kisses and some touching. But at one point too he would talk to me about it and let me know he was concerned about that. Try talking to her, she could just be tired or stressed out, and if you guys have kids then that just adds to LESS in the mood time.
2007-12-16 08:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when she gets home have a nice romantic dinner set up, with some good music...roses on the bed...lol the classic. I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Plus it gives her the message that you want to make love in a more "suttle" manor.
2007-12-16 08:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want heat in the bedroom, look to how you treat her out of it.
She could be stressed and feel that you are adding to it.
If she's feeling that the only time you come near her is for sex, the pressure to "perform" regardless of her feelings can lead to a lack of interest. This may make her feel its just another chore she has to get done - not very romantic, is it?
If she feels that you ignore her, and only want her company when it suits you, then she may not be all that interested when you do find time to slot her in.
Most women want to feel that they are appreciated, loved, cherished, and not just desired, to feel sexy.
2007-12-16 09:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry. Try some romantic things-- flowers for no reason are always nice, and it is important to remember during foreplay-- Men are microwaves, women are crock pots. Be patient.
2007-12-16 08:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can clean the house and wash the dishes. It will put her in the mood.
2007-12-16 08:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by morris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Promotion. Maybe she either has more work tied to that and is too tired to give you action, or she thinks she's better than you now.
2007-12-16 08:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by Kyle W 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u could try to romance her and show her a good time.... make the day all about her...
wine and dine her...
2007-12-16 08:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Mickey ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST LOVE HER
2007-12-16 09:08:36 · answer #10 · answered by ppkoo7 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋