Whenever I see mentally retarded people I get sick and if I'm eating I feel like I'm going to throw up. Just thinking of all the things that could go wrong with children these days (in relation to mental retardation) I really don't want any. I feel like if I had a kid with a problem I wouldn't love him.
2007-12-16 08:36:28 · 45 answers · asked by Kristinabelle 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I just want to make a few things clear: I don't have these reactions when I see people in person, I just have thoughts. I do feel bad, of course, but that's only half of it. The other half just makes me uncomfortable . I'm not a completely insensitive peson, I have sympathy, I just don't know how to show it, and I think not knowin what to do makes me have these kinds of feelings. I know most of you will disagree with them, but I am educated about mental handicaps, I just don't have enough personal experience with it I suppose.
2007-12-16 08:49:54 · update #1
And I apologize for the mental retardation thing. I am ignorant to what is politically correct these days. There was no ill intention behind that.
2007-12-16 08:51:49 · update #2
Well, if you are being politically correct it is "developmentally disabled". The DSMIV still calls it Mental Retardation, don't get hung up on terms. Also, to the first post since you're so worried about lables it's "DOWN SYNDROM" not "DOWNS". It is normal for you to feel worried about kids you may have to be handicapped in some way, most parents want the "ideal" child, 10 fingers and toes. You feel like you don't want to look at them, and that is normal. Some drool, some just don't look "normal". If you don't like looking at them then don't no one is making you and you're not a bad person for not wanting to look at a mentally retarded person. You're not a bad person for not liking certain things, it's just seen as not being tolerant by some people, so be aware people will take it personal when you say that. Also, you're kid will have a problem, all kids do, and yes, you'll love them. I'm guessing you're very young still, and you'll grow out of your feeling when you mature some.
You're NOT heartless. Looks like the first poster thinks it's ok for her to judge people but not you. Once again, you're not a bad person.
2007-12-16 08:51:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
People can also react to the sight of other peoples blood or if they see someone else being physically sick (vomiting) and for a whole slew of other reasons. But this does not make someone a bad person. You can overcome just about anything if you have the will. First of all you may have to face the problem and psyche yourself into accepting it. Personally I don't think we will ever get over some things. Things happen to people all the time and deserve our sympathy ( not pity the way that it may be erroneously used in today's society)and respect because they are human. People who are mentally retarded are to be given our compassion, so try to look at it in this way. The majority of children born are considered normal which means they are not retarded or have major deformities. Even a child born with an extra toe, which is rare, is considered normal. If you and the father of your potential child are healthy, the chances are you will conceive a child without any physical or mental problems. If you did you would love them none the less.
2007-12-16 08:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by Marina 1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many young people feel this way, but most mature into more tolerant thinking as they age. The physically and mentally challenged are human beings just like everyone else, they simply were dealt a different set of cards, of which they had no choice. Thinking about it in this way may help you to feel more compassion.
2007-12-16 08:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by clayinspiration 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You simply feel this way because at this present time you havent come in contact with someone you want to build afamily with once you find that special love you will be able to deal with any situation that comes up if you do have a disable child after you carry that life in your body for 9 mos your not going to be able not to love your child but there is adifference in a mother and a mommy a mother gives life and a mommy takes care of that life
2007-12-16 08:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by lady727 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe the correct psychological term for this is "xenophobia"...the fear of people who are different from us. It's not uncommon. Most people have this to some degree. The way to get over it is to be around the people your uncomfortable being around, more often. Eventually, the intensity of your feelings will subside (and hopefully disappear), as you begin to really realize that they are human beings with thoughts and feelings just like you. And trust me, if you had a developmentally disabled child, you would love him/her....you would. In fact, your fear or state of discomfort would disappear quite quickly, I'm sure.
2007-12-16 09:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love- is care from the heart and is not a toy you would have a kid but mental isn't a reason not to love but no worries its pretty rare for you to have a mental. But don't have a baby if you won't love it. That makes YOU a bad person.
2007-12-16 08:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants there kids to be mental handicapted, but if they are I would ignore them and don't love them YES.
Maybe someday you will have an accident and will be like a plant in a wheelchair... Would you like it if people would be looking at you?
And that those people make you sick, well thats even worse! You make me sick! Because those people have the biggest hearts of all the people on this planet. They will never judge you!
2007-12-16 08:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't make you "Bad", it makes you uneducated.
If it's something within you that you think is not nice and 'bad' then you need to change it..fix it. Don't just leave it that way. Volunteer at a place where there are people like that. Do some research. Educate yourself and get around people with disabilities and you may find that your feelings aren't as bad. Don't expect them to go away altogether, tho..there is always that bit of fear of the unknown reactions of someone who doesn't have complete control over themselves.
good luck
2007-12-16 08:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by Denise M 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
well it's not bad to feel uncomfortable when you see special people. But is not a reason to get sick, they didn't choose to be born like that, they also have feelings. Nobody wants a kid with problems BUT if it happens love that person because it came out of you.
2007-12-16 08:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by Ecuanena 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One girl I worked with had a mentally retarded 2 year old. He was so happy and all he did was smile all the time. It really made me think differently about people with mental handicaps.
I think it is sad that you would worry about not loving your own flesh and blood. You're obviously not ready to have kids anyway.
2007-12-16 08:41:47 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋