what should i do if i am unhappy in my marrige because my husband has a double standard about male/female buds

Question

he feels it is ok for him to be very close, too close with female counterparts but doesn't want me to have any opposite sex friends

Answer 1

You may have married a boy instead of a man. Boys don't commit themselves but men do.

Now you need to sit down with him and have a serious conversation. Does he think he is still single and you are not? If he keeps this attitude your marriage is in trouble because he wants to play the field. You need to nip this one in the bud and really be tough about it.

Couples can have single friends and sometimes one or the other can have friends of the opposite sex but only an occasional phone conversation or email etc. The rules change when people get married.

Some people are excessively jealous and treat even casual contacts as threats. That is abnormal and life will be made miserable unless addressed early on in the relationship. If possessiveness is a trait when two people are only dating then it is better not to get involved in an engagement or a marriage.

Answer 2

first of all he's a hypocrite and i would say slightly possesive

I would call him on it just say oh i see so it;s ok for you to have all these Female Counterparts But it's not ok for me to have a male Friend

I'd Just Tell him to Stuff it and Grow up and stop being such a prick

He Obviously doesn't give a damn about how you feel about things and sorry to say that doesn't often change

On the Other Hand You Could Talk to him and ask him why the double standard is there That that's not fair to you in that you are expecting something out of me that your not even doing

But then again i have never been shy about saying how i feel about stuff shy just isint in my vocabulary

Never has been Never Will be

Communication is the lifeblood to any marriage You Need To Talk to him

But Nip that in the bud

Answer 3

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Answer 4

My old man used to be the same way. Iam sure that many of men have some bad motivations for this double standard, but not all men are guilty of having bad reasons......essentually, men want one thing and one thing only out of women and since your old man is a man himself....he knows this only to well. I know that plenty of people will freak out when they read what Iam telling you and I will recieve a ton of middle fingers as well as denials, but at the core root, men love, crave and think about sex a lot...much more than us women think about it....and being a man your husband gets to hear his men friends talk about women....wolves for the great in gathering....women aren't so focused on sex as men are. My old man thinks that his men friends will take me away from him....and its really pathetic that his so called buddies have infact hit on me even though they know my old man is crazy about me. Once I said to my old man very gently so he knew I wasn't looking for a fight about it...hey you don't do what you yourself preach and come to find out that he thought I was the best woman he's ever been with and he felt his guy friends wouldn't value the lines of respect.....sadly...he is right. Unless your old man is a selfish pig about the issue, likely there are deep core reasons inside that he isn't telling you about. I decided back when I couldn't get my old man to really look at what he was saying or see how 2 faced he was that for a time I would let him have his way just to see how it went. Thankfully after a time of having his way, I found that he was able to let down his guard and really talk about it to me. All real relationships are work. I hope this helps you.

Answer 5

It would be a deal breaker for me. Double standards do not work. Do not let him do this to you. It will not stop there. Life is too short for you to be unhappy. Can you live the rest of your life like this?

Answer 6

Do you want a male friend or is it just to prove a point. Why does he need "close" friends when he's married. His life is at home. You both may need to shore up your foundation. Life is too short to be making enemies of those you love.

Answer 7

Interesting, well it sounds like he's insecure and a little on the controlling side. Those are two separate issues you'll want to talk to him about. If he doesn't give you true reasons and comes up with excuses why, then there are deeper seeded issues maybe. Just talk to him and see what he has to say =)

Answer 8

Talk to Him. Make him Under stand that What Ever is Acceptable for Him to Do, Applies to You as well. He's showing controlling signals. You may want to keep an eye on that !! Good Luck !!!

Answer 9

Is this something he's started since you got married or are they "lifelong" friends? Are you allowed into these friendships or does he not want to share these friendships with you? As long as you're welcomed into the friendships, it's ok, but somehow I don't think that's the case. If you have a male friend, would you welcome your husband into the friendship? If you chose someone for the rest of your life, s/he is supposed to be your best friend for life. That doesn't mean you don't need other friends, but your spouse should be welcome in any mixed-gender friendships.

Answer 10

That's just wrong. It's ok to be friends with the opposite sex.
Yell at him and threaten him with divorce if he doesn't change his hypocritical ways.