Me and my mom do not share a very great relationship. Her and my sister are really close. I feel really really left out. Whenever me and my sister get in an arguement she always supports my sister even if i am the one that is right. This morning me and her got in a really huge fight and she has decided that she wants me to move with my brother to a different city. Does she not love me? Is that why she wants me to leave her and my sister alone. It hurts me to know that my mom is tired of me and doesn't want me to be around her anymore. I just want to be able to have a better relationship with her and my sister but it seems like they don't want me to be a part of them.How can i do this?
2007-12-16 07:37:36 · 11 answers · asked by bubbalicoius 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It takes 2 people to argue!
2007-12-16 07:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by dizzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is no easy feat. Heck! Even if I knew all sides inside and out it would be a monumental task. But, do not let me discourage you further. It can be done but it takes time, willingness, and forgivness.
My advice is simple. You must forgive them and not dwell upon past issues. As the new ones crop up you brush them aside. Only input up to the point where you meet resistance then back off and leave it said or unsaid. Make sure you truly believe your posistion and are willing to "fall on your sword."
I know some of what you speak. I am firm in what I believe and will say what I have to say and let the chips fall. Sometimes I just "read" them and realize it is a lost cause and leave them to their own. My Mother and Father divorced when I was 10 and it was not until I was 22 that I forgave my Father and the healing began. Now my Father comes over to my Grandparents house with his Girlfriend with my Mom present. It is even weird for we Rednecks but the animosity is gone. Just before Thanksgiving my Mom drove my Dad and Grandmother up to Oklahoma because my Sister was having an operation.
I hope and pray you too will one day know this unity. It is not perfect by no means but it is better than so many know.
2007-12-16 07:50:30 · answer #2 · answered by crimthann69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you continue to do the same things, you will have the same results. It takes 2 to fight, if you want to change the dynamic, you must stop arguing. Your mom has a lifetime of experience, and sees things in a different way than you do. What you need to do is to listen. You may or may not agree, but this does not mean you need to fight with her. Take on board what she is saying. Go and think about what she has said. Do what it takes to be rational about what she told you, be it writing down lists of pros and cons, talking to another trusted adult (like a friends parent). Remember, you may never see eye to eye, but you don't need to change your mom's opinion to get along with her. When you demonstrate some restraint in how you relate to her, you are showing that you are maturing, and you will gain her respect. THere are many times in life that you will have to hold your tongue. This is often the case at work and even in other personal relationships. Practice now. Learn to deal with others in an adult way. Build your listening skills, and you will be very successful in your life in general.
2007-12-16 07:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by always b natural 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Look at the way you're responding and see if you can have a different reaction when this starts to happen. You can probably foresee by now when an argument is going to ensue, so instead of following through, perhaps have a different set of words to redirect it. Or simply say upfront that you can sense this is going the way of an argument and maybe you can stop talking so you don't have another one under your belt. And try again later. Mothers always love their kids, they just don't always get along with them. I had a little of that too with my mom, and I can sense tension when I talk to her so we just wrap up our conversation and call again in a few days when we're in a better frame of mind. Only talk about things that you know won't lead to something. I've had things I wanted to tell my mom and I decided not to because I just knew it would lead to a difference of opinion. It's like defensive driving only defensive communication. Stop something from happening before it happens.
2007-12-16 07:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a controversy demands 2 or extra human beings. There are basically 2 of you. you could % to argue with him or you could % to not argue with him. in case you do the former, you have got a controversy, yet once you do the latter, there'll be no argument. All that needs to take place is for one in all you to stop arguing. If he won't stop, then the alternative is yours. So, ask your self, "Do i % to maintain arguing with him?" as quickly as you recognize that answer you could % what to do to enforce the respond.
2016-12-11 06:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to your brothers, build your own life and make it a great one. just forgive your mom and sister, stop arguing, accept the loss and move on. It is your life, not theirs.
2007-12-16 07:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by frijolero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom needs to know exactly how you feel....sit her down and let it out. be honest....i had a relationship like this with my father....he always said he wanted me to be just like my older sister because she was perfect......yeah right...i never had the guts to tell him how i felt....i was rebellious and got into alot of trouble...please don't fallow in my footsteps....get you feeling out..you may want to see a counselor as well....you can do it just be strong and belive in yourself.....really who gives a F**k what anyone else thinks....good luck
2007-12-16 07:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your mom one on one! tell her how u feel and let her know what she does isnt right. me and my mom dont get along well, and i kow exactly how you feel!! just let her know how u feel then move with your brother. let her get what u said in her head! Youll know if she loves you or not!!
2007-12-16 07:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by *DAH BADDEST BiSxH* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to your mom and ask her why! tell her how you feel about being left out and how you want to feel around her! she'll probably understand
2007-12-16 07:41:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit mom down and talk to her one on one tell her how you feel
2007-12-16 07:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by pearl_hoff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋