My husband and I have been married for a year and half. He loves me to bits but since we've been together I feel like I am our "life manager" and I am often frustrated (we talk abou this all the time). We have struggled a little financially because of a fairly heavy debt he brought into the relationship and sometimes I feel like I was happier living independently. We are now trying to have kids but there's something in my gut telling me that I shouldn't have kids with him. If I choose not to I will be jeopordizing our marriage and that breaks my heart. Should I trust my intuition?
2007-12-16 07:28:32 · 15 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
only you know the true answer here, but i will say this: i don't know how to define reasons for that "gut instinct" you're talking about, but i think it's more accurate than people want to admit. i'd go with your gut and wait it out until you feel better about taking such a major step. there are plenty of kids already in this world stuck in the middle of feuding ex-spouses.
2007-12-16 07:32:47 · answer #1 · answered by The Beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Trust your gut. If your husband is willing to call it quits because you don't feel stable enough financially (among other things) to bring a child into this world, that says a lot...know what I mean? It doesn't sound like he holds the finances in his top priority list. That is major factor in child rearing. Perhaps the two of you can meet with a financial advisor so he can see how expensive it can be on paper (i.e. daycare, clothing, food, tuition, etc). Maybe then he'll appreciate your concerns.
2007-12-16 07:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by siava101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its just the financial stress right now that is making you have this intuitions. Things will get better- I am dealing with this - married to a guy that has other a prior financial situation -(child support-bills-insurance-ex wifes student loan) but, I know we'll be done with all that sooner then I think- time goes so fast - if you love him - go with your heart..... If your heart is telling you not to have children with him- listen to your heart..if you love him..... don't worry about the money - that will be over before you know it.
2007-12-16 08:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this your "gut", or your common sense talking to you?
I know from personal experience that it's hard enough managing my own life. but trying to manage mine as well as my partners was stressfull to say the least.
So many people these days seem to be forgetting that a marriage is supposed to be a PARTNERSHIP.
It sounds to me like he brings very little into the marriage, except a lot of unwanted debt, & demands you aren't sure you want to follow through on.
It speaks volumns to me when you say things like "I feel like I was happier living independantly".
If ending a marriage WITHOUT kids makes you sad, try to immagine how sad it can get ending a marriage WITH kids involved. Use your common sense, and trust your gut.
2007-12-16 07:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes because if it does happen you wouldn't be happy. This is a question for you, I should post, pardon me, Why are so many women stuck on one guy. I understand falling in love, what I am talking about is when they turn out to be screw ups or turn out to be the opposite of what you expected. Why do woman feel committed to stay with such a person and especially when they are destructive? Or someone who will make you unhappy? I was told their are many fish in the sea so why don't you start fishing if you will?
2007-12-16 07:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sigh. So let me get this right before I comment. You are in debt and having financial struggles? Having children will increase the amount that you spend alot. Having kids with a guy that cannot support all of you guys will kill your marriage. Goodluck with taking care of kids and having to work full time.
2007-12-16 07:36:13 · answer #6 · answered by Shinigami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lisa if there is doubt in the wind> Go with your gut feelings> Being a single parent is no fun i was >It's extreme and for ever>Best of luck>Being undecided and not sure is not the time to make such bigggg decisions>>
2007-12-16 07:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it became into purely you to think of roughly, i'd say decrease your losses and break up...yet you besides would would desire to think of roughly your 3 infants and their well being additionally. The time to have concept approximately all of this is while he became into drugging it up and abusing you. Now that he's in restoration and interestingly doing wonderful by making use of you and the youngsters isn't the time to come to a decision on you do unlike him anymore. What does that say for you? What do no longer you like anymore? omit the drama? omit the abuse? you have been married 7 years. attempt to think of roughly what you enjoyed approximately him till now and doubtless you could artwork on finding those thoughts back. If no longer, then do what you think of you could desire to do.
2016-11-03 11:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, never ignore your intuition. Start asking questions. What matters to you should matter to him.
I totally made the mistake of ignoring my feelings and thoughts I had inside. Too long of a story to get into here.
Go to counseling. Counseling isn't for when things are really bad, it is very healthy for all issues.
2007-12-16 07:58:14 · answer #9 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always trust ur intuition because it is usually almost right
Proof: One of my friends came home to see a robber robbing her home and he saw her and held her by gunpoint telling her not to make any noise unless she wanted to die but her intuition told her to scream and run so she did and it caught the robber off gaurd and she got away
just think wat wouldve happened if she hadnt followed her gut instinct she couldve been killed or worse!
2007-12-16 07:35:28 · answer #10 · answered by Emery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋