These are the things my husband has done to me since we have been together the past 8 years, we now have two kids:
Ran up my phone bill w/phone sex numbers
Used his account for online sex websites
Got drunk on multiple, multiple occasions (he's an alcoholic)
stole money from me - used my credit cards-signed my name (ruined our credit)
forged checks - signing my name
got drunk - and pushed me down at my high school reunion
spent all our spending money right before we left on vacation
spent all our money right before Christmas
pawned my b-day presents
pawned our possessions for money to buy things he doesn't have the need for
Convinced me after all of this that he still has respect for me and loves me and wants to be with me..
He is bi-polar, has been in recovery for alcohol over a year. On medications to control OCD... Is on Disability due to his bi-polar (he was diagnosed with this after we got married).
Am I wrong for having feelings of not wanting to live like this anymore?
2007-12-16 07:26:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we've been to counseling...even before we got married (not a good sign). We had our kids prior to getting married..i guess I thought getting married was the answer I was 24 and emotional. i feel like I married him because he's the father of my children... It's hard...I don't know how to leave him.......
2007-12-16 07:40:21 · update #1
direct answer to your question: no, you're not wrong for feeling like this isn't what you want. surely it's not what you signed up for. there is no "autopilot" in marriage. both sides need to work at it to make it last. your story sounds terrible, with little positive to build on. i would take a step back, look at the reasons you married him, and try to focus on getting those reasons back front and center. i'd get in counseling and let your husband know that your life is nowhere near what you'd like it to be, and you need his help getting a 50/50 back into your relationship. as far as i know, we only get one trip through this world. there is no reason to accept living in hell while you're here.
2007-12-16 07:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by The Beast 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My thoughts..... You have been in this relationship for a long time so the way he treats you has become more of a norm for you, but in comparison, you do know that what he does is wrong, hurtful, and completely disrespectful to you and the life your living.
Pack up and move on. This is no life for you to be living in with kids. His poor behavior will soon reflect upon your kids. Kids don't understand how to separate feelings and emotions at a young age.
All of his excuses don't make this right. It is time for you to make a change in your life.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-12-16 15:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by Just Life, Trying To Live It. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's the kind of s h i t my father use to do to my mother and he was very mean to us kids. I'm telling you to get you and your kids away from him because they will grow up with all kinds of problems like i did. Everyone of my brothers and sisters have emotional problems due to my father. I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers and every single one of us has had fights at school and trouble with the law. I hated my father for the way he treated my mother but what i hated the most was my mother stayed with him and forgave him every time he hit her or us or spent all the Christmas money. I know you can't see it through your kids eyes what they are going through emotionally living with a father like that so i hope you will hear what i'm telling you and get out now before to much damage is done to you and your kids.
2007-12-16 16:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Youre feelings are complately justified. After 8 years I imaging anyone will get sick of it. You have paid your dues and obviously he is not going to change. I really look at not only the abusive bahavior but the pawning thing really got to me once too. You feel as if why bother to work for anything nice if it will be gone when you turn your head. Think about you and your kids....you come first.
2007-12-16 15:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dealing with OCD is just has hard on the people who have it, as it is on the persons who love them.
i'm sure you have mixed feelings about it all. wanting to be there for him, to help him recover, to be the supportive wife that you are. and the feelings of just not wanting to put up with it all, especially when it has such devastating effects on you and your children. it's a tough call.
i'd suggest for you to go into therapy. you have been damaged by another's disorders, and you'll need to get over that foremost. then do what you need to do in your life, for yourself and your kids.
2007-12-16 15:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my advice leave before your hurt physically, and emotionally, in marriage you owe both each other respect, dignity, and trust he is a bad guy and is using his bi-polar to make you feel guilty to control you get away quickly or he will bring you down with him.
2007-12-16 18:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by zoro 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess...he is blaming his bad choices on his bi polar, OCD and his alcohol problem....I know that I wouldn't want to stay a minute longer with someone that has ZERO respect for me....He has never respected you...What a loser...
2007-12-16 15:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
oh, sometimes love just isn't enough. and he certainly has not an once of respect for you or your marriage if this is what he's done, disease or not...you deserve way better
blessings and luck to you
2007-12-16 15:37:57 · answer #8 · answered by starting over 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce -you are a better person than he is and you deserve a better life-don't feel guilty -he's wrong
2007-12-16 15:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you wanted to stay with a loser like that, u deserve him--LEAVE before he ruins your life!
2007-12-16 15:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋