I have come through a good many things in my life, mother being beaten by father fequenly, Molestation when I was 4to5,fathers sucide when I was 11, raped when I was 18 aunts sucide when I was 19. Divorse and remarriage within 2 weeks of each other when I was 28. Every time I think Ive got my head on straight something else happens to make have to start with the therapy and the "growth cycle" all over again. The latest in my cycle is another possible divorse because of yet another growth cycle. Which included not wanting to drink at my problems or smoke pot with my husband any more. Ive used with my husband far to long and I want to live again. I took snow board lessons this week (had ablast) got a tatoo( shocking to the whole family) been snow shoeing. All without my husband and he is very resentfull and I dont know what to do. I did invite him. I failed once in a marriage and I am beginning to think Im just not cut out for it. I'm 47 been married 18 years this time 8 last time.
2007-12-16 06:45:41 · 12 answers · asked by wrknprgsat47 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow. You are an amazingly strong person to be able to go through all that, and still be sane. You and your husband should probably just talk the situation out, and if that doesnt work, maybe counseling. I hope everything works out!! Im sure you will be fine!
2007-12-16 06:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by Fuzzyglasses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been through a lot girlfriend. My hats off to you for hanging in there and being so strong.
And yes theres hope for you. look at what you've been through and what you have achieved thus far. We all have scars to bear in life. But your dusting yourself off each time and getting back up on that horse. Keep riding into the sunset sweetie. You'll find peace sooner or later.
Glad you went out and snow shoeing continue to do more outdoor activities that you enjoy or being close to nature. it will be healthy for your body and brain. And won't make you so depressed and when another bad storm hits you , you will handle it again as you always have.
Don't think your a failure in marriage . Lots of people dont' get it right the first few times. There very lucky if they do and the ones that are to scared to leave stay miserable. Least your trying to live your life. you may not always get it right but then again nothings ever perfect. Keep plugging away in what makes you happy dear.
all the best in 2008
2007-12-17 00:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, sis, i gotta tell you 18 years aren't short ... they are a long time... and u have to know that being able to live 18 years in commitment to ur husband, if incase u got married for love, then u shouldn't quit for some few stupid reasons that are bothering ur relationship, and although what happened with u throughout ur life, i think u have managed to cross all those difficulties in ur life, so dont let them bring u down again. You have already managed to get through. Don't let them haunt you back, however, I think you should focus on ur tiny little probs now with ur husband and put ur legs off the table and talk over it. Sports can come in real good benefi for you emotionally and physicaly, I recommend art too. Good Luck! Never Give Up!
2007-12-16 14:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by Alex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there is! (hope) And not because of the standard response "there is always hope". It actually sounds like you are on the right track without your therapy getting in the way. I've dated several people that would label themselves "head cases" and they are no better or worst than anyone else. Oddly enough, they too have made a change to start getting the most out of life like you seem to have decided. One wants me to teach her some martial arts, another started up with open water diving, (wish that one would ask me to come along, my kid did that and it looks fun). The only problem you seem to show is the obvious therapy crap. Growth cycles and stuff. To me it's all excuses. Lose the therapy and start including your husband in your activities. First put your foot down with the drug problem though. One month of drugs costs the same as one months joy of jet skiing, one month of sky diving, etc... Keep doing what you are doing. Looks like a victory for you on the horizon!
2007-12-16 14:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of your background you sound like your starting to find yourself and come into your own area in life.
I know it's very difficult for people to let go of their past but it's necessary if we're to move on with our futures.
Also there's no harm enjoying yourself and your life. Maybe if your husband was coaxed a little more he would show some interest in what you enjoy. If not then it's time for him to find something for himself as well.
There's nothing wrong with a couple who does different things, you don't have to be joined at the hip to have a successful relationship, just honest and open with each other.
2007-12-16 14:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen we all have a story like that to tell-life is about learning and changing and growing-if your current marraige is not working -move on-you'll be happier without him and by all means dont think your life is over or you wont ever be happpy with a man again- because you will-just be sure the next guy has the same goals and lifestyle that you want in your life and good luck!
2007-12-16 14:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your doing the right thing focusing on yourself. Hopefully your husband will get use to it and go along with it. If not then your not meant for each other. You have had a rough life and its good to put that aside and adventure. Don't let it get you down. I know that's easier said then done. It seems though you are making positive changes in your life. Good luck with that. I'm sure you will be fine.
2007-12-16 14:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by candyapplesyum! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been through so much. I agree that you are a very strong woman. Have a talk with your husband. Tell him how you feel and that you are tired of using. Tell him that you want to live a little fun and live a little. If he chooses not to join you he should not act resentful about it. Do what is going to make you happy. If he wants to pout let him.
2007-12-16 16:56:33 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW you have seen it & been there.
first dump the drug usage, If he refuses dump him too. @ 47 yrs you should be a mature woman not acting like a teenager.
seek out good friends hobies, a church may help too you got to get something in your life to focus on
2007-12-16 14:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by mitchey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no reason to be u[set with you. You did invite him and that is all you can do. No reason for you to beg him it was his choice not to join you. You have been through so much and you deserve to do what makes you happy. Just sit and talk to him. He is acting selfish and that is not fare to you.
2007-12-16 14:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋