Guys, would you find me intimidating?

Question

I consider myself an independent woman. I am a pretty handy person, good at interior decorating, has good fashion sense. I've been described more as smart, nice and sweet. I've been called ugly, but I still manage to get guys and girls to look at me when I walk pass them. I've never had any problems with getting guys to like me. And no I am not a whore nor do I dress like one.

I am a pretty ambitious person and I haven't met another man who is as ambitious as I am. Someone told me that I thought I was too good for anyone even though I've been described as a modest person. Is it just because I come off as too independent that someone would think this of me? I'm not the type of gal who needs to go to the bathroom with another girl or one who pretends to have a flat tire to get a man's attention.

I notice mostly females are describing me as stuck up and self absorbed. I am talking about myself in this question, so of course it sounds like it.

lmspencr--thanks for the compliment. No, I'm from the midwest. ;)

delux_version--great answer. I never thought of it that way when I describe myself as independent. Thanks!

Answer 1

Your first sentence would destroy any chances you would have with me, if I were still single. I mean a couple needs to know the other is needed. As a self promoting "independent" I would let you be just that till the bitter end. Independent, alone and lonely. I too can make it on my own. But as a married guy I chose not to give that image to my wife. She "is" needed, in many ways. She doesn't just complete me, but, enhances my attributes and I enhance hers. Independence is no longer a positive attribute to the single guy. They see too much of it every day.

Answer 2

A relationship is based on give and take and one who is totally self sufficient would not be the definition of one who would strengthen a relationship. Being together with someone means you have to acknowledge and share your strengths and weaknesses. If you come off as not having any weaknesses (which would be a lie) then that would be intimidating mainly because on a deeper level a man or a woman would imagine you trying to take full control over a period of time. There would be no room for either of you to learn or grow. You don't have to go to the other extreme and fake helplessness, but be real and balanced. Know that you aren't perfect and most importantly let others know that you realize this. Many times what we call a sense of self confidence is really our pride trying to hide our flaws in public. That's why you have successful athletes, businesspersons and entertainers who "unexpectedly" commit suicide because they have not realized this fact.

Answer 3

i kinda know how you feel. i am a shy guy. if i meet someone for the first time, even if it with friends and the person is the friend of my friends, i have a really difficult time talking to them. guys or girls. i would guess that i am average looking, definitely nothing special. i am willing to guess that you could ask your girl friends what kind of guys they like. ask them. have them write it down or something without names, and see how their interests vary. i bet the answers will vary a lot. (as a guy, i don't know, but this is what i think.) guys are the same way. some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like big boobs, some don't really and are happy with anything. some like big butts, some don't. etc etc etc. every guy likes something different. the thing you are going to have to do is change your attitude. if you think you will never marry, you can ultimately influence your future and drive people who do like you away. accept who you are and how you look and become proud of it. if you tell yourself that you look good daily, you will eventually come to feel that you look good. there is someone for everyone out there, don't give up so soon. men and women have too many differences to list, but in the end, we are all humans. if you think of them as people, it might be easier. people make mistakes, nobody is perfect. everybody has their faults. take small steps. say hi to random people who you see, and work up from there. over time, you can change your mindset about guys being intimidating. stay positive, and remember, only you can change how you feel. if you want to change, you have to try and when it gets hard, keep going.

Answer 4

I don't think independence or intimidation is your problem. I think you probably just come off as sort of snotty or too into yourself. By reading the question, that is the impression of you that I get.
I'm not trying to be mean- it is very hard to tell exactly how others judge us, or how we appear to others without some honest feedback. Your friends probably wouldn't usually tell the truth if you asked them because they're afraid of offending you or hurting your feelings. I would guess you are either are behaving in a way that puts people off or your standards for men are just sort of unrealistic. There are plenty of very ambitious men, and many would probably be attracted to a woman who was talented and independent (not intimidated by them), but not if the woman came off as really self absorbed.

Answer 5

Donald Trump will never describe himself as that if he wants to get hired. George W. Bush will never make a speech of himself that way as it is bad for winning an election. Are you having a bad day? LoLs. Usually people who call themselves ambitious are overly self-driven with unrealistic dreams. In other words, delutional. I hope you are not being too hard on yourself. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two about being independent >_>

Answer 6

I am probably more ambitious than you. I must admit, reading you question kind of turns me off. A man likes a girl to be a little bit needy. A man wants to be the man. Ther's nothing wrong with showing a guy you can use a little help with something. It makes a man feel good.

Answer 7

the only part of ur question that i would wonder about is when u say, ' someone told me that i thought i was too good for anyone...it is just because i come off too independent that someone would think this of me?'
a female who walks around with their pervibial 'snoot' in the air will not intimidate a man but will instead put them off from ever giving u a second thought.

no one wants someone who gives off an aura of 'better than u', if u know what i mean, u wouldn't care 4 a man who does, y should they care about a woman who does.

with that thought in mind, u may wanna find out y someone would say that about u and try 2 change if if u want to.

good luck and GOD bless.

Answer 8

No I don't think your personality or skills should be intimidating for any man, but I'm sure there are some out there that would be so shallow or have such a low self-esteem or maybe huge ego, whatever the case maybe...In any case, it honestly sounds like to me that you would be good in a relationship or marriage to help take on some of the burdens and responsibilities that can cause a relationship to be one-sided.

Answer 9

Well I'm not a man, but I certainly respect your independence. I really would enjoy having you be with me, especially if I were ambitious too! Some people think too highly of themselves though, so make sure that's not you!

Answer 10

A man should look for a mate who strengthens them as a couple so the one who does something best can make the couple stronger in that way. Why would someone want someone weak?

Be the best person you can be and dont worry about someone who would want someone less capable.