my partner and my friend hate each other, they have never got on, i don't know why they just never seemed to take with one another, but its has got progressively worse over time and now they refuse to even be in the same room. at my birthday party my friend refused to come because my partner was there and in the end i had to have two celebrations just so i could spend time with them both. and since i moved in with my other half my friend hasn't been round to mu house she wont even come round when he isn't here, she refuses to come near the place. the thing is tho that she never says a bad thing about him, she doesn't want to split us up or cause trouble she just cant stand him.
its got so bad that i cant carry on this way its ruining both relationships. i know sometime soon i am going to have to chose between them but i have no idea how to do this.
2007-12-16 05:31:34 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You don't have to choose. Your friend isn't saying bad things about your partner so that is a very good thing. You will just have to get used to getting together separately. I think though with big parties they should both put their differences aside for one night and be in the same room...there would be enough people there so they could avoid each other. If they both care about you they should not make you feel like you are being pulled in two different directions.
2007-12-16 05:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are willing to dump both of them, you don't have to choose, your friend has done that for you. By refusing to be at least civil to your partner and forgetting about her dislike of him in order to maintain her friendship with you, she has put you in an impossible place. If you love your partner then you will stay in the relationship, which is understandable, and a friend wouldn't expect you to end a relationship with an SO on their behalf anyway.
If both your friend and partner insist on this immature escalation of their intolerance for one another, then you will have to limit your friendship to times that don't involve your partner, such as lunches, shopping trips etc. I certainly wouldn't be bullied by these two into having two different celebrations for events so that both could attend.
2007-12-16 13:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by SkyLights90N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a good sign; I would guess that your friend sees something either in you, when you are with your partner, or in your partner, that she does not want to dis, because she is afraid of losing your friendship. Many times ppl are not aware of how much they change when they are in a serious relationship. But I would say your friend knows you for a much longer time - I think you need a really calm, private sit down with the friend to try to figure out - honestly and with no backlash - what she really thinks.
2007-12-16 13:38:13 · answer #3 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down with both of them seperatley and find the source of the problem.
Maybe one is jealous of the other or both are jealous of each other.
They need to know how much this hurts you and how much you really want them to at least be able to tolerate one another.
2007-12-16 13:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋