Why are men so insensitive sometimes?

Question

I have posted this Q sometime in the past.
I am re-posting it to discover fresher views from men.

Answer 1

I'm very compassionate. I care mostly on everyone who is near to my heart. I often confess to all of my peers that i may lack maturity but no one has ever told me that i'm such an insensitive human being, really. Generally speaking, men care more about their macho side that is why men are considered tough and hard to get sometimes. But i know deep in their hearts they do really care, they're just afraid to show the world that they can be as soft as a cotton. The world has set the standard of what men should be like in a society and we shouldn't blame men for being like that.

Answer 2

Because they're trained to be that way.

Perhaps it started with evolutionary adaptation: survival of the fittest. The one who couldn't kill a cute little bunny couldn't eat. Men had to endure the pains of weather, running long distances, climbing, falling, scrapes and scratches. Perhaps occasionally wrestling with a bear, or wrestling with another man for the prettiest girl or best cook.

Men don't have the physical sensitivity women do--in general (of course there are exceptions). They're less sensitive to heat, cold, splinters--all kinds of pain. Until they learn differently, they assume everyone feels the same way. (Not unlike a woman expecting a man to have empathy because she has empathy.) Unless the man compensates for his lack of social instincts by developing a high social and emotional IQ, he will remain insensitive, and perhaps get better at it.

Physical traits are often metaphors: he's a softy, she's rigid, he's nearsighted, she's farsighted. Others respond to those emanations and vibrations, and they get reinforced over and over. So the trait deepens.

Someone capable becomes trained/entrained to act capable all of the time. People treat him as capable so he acts the part. Even when he f*cks up. Then we call him a jerk. If he dives into the ocean to save someone, we call him a hero. Both times, just acting "capable" and probably insensitive.

In every person a good trait carried to an extreme becomes a bad trait. There’s a good side to being insensitive. But that isn’t the side that annoys women!

Answer 3

Of course this is just personal reflection on my part ... Not here to judge by any means & I won't deny that I haven't come across some extremely insensitive men but overall I've known more women who are far more insensitive as opposed to men. Both men & women can be without concern for others or fall very short in understanding how another feels yet women moreso act through emotion. Knowing that fact it seem logical, to me that is, that the female gender could be & are at times very skilled in the art of insensitivity.

Answer 4

If you look back through evolution, you will notice a few things:

Males scout new territory, compete for resources (including females), and spend a lot of time alone, where they don't have to be concerned for others.

Females hunt and gather food for themselves AND their young, live in groups, work together, and so they are more conscientious.

Moving forward through time, to civilization...

Girls are taught to spare people's feelings, even if they have to lie to do it. They are taught to be socially aware, behaving the way they are expected to.

"Boys will be boys", and so they are not expected to spare each other's feelings. They are expected to be tough and thick-skinned, not concerned with whether they are hurting other people's feelings.

This is also why men can't lie very well... we haven't had the practice that women have.

For example, opening a Christmas present, inside we find a hand-knit sweater from Aunt Suzie. It's "Penitentiary orange", one sleeve is green, the other is purple, and the left arm is 5 inches longer than the right.

Female response: "How sweet! You must've spent hours on this, it's lovely!"
Male response: "What the $%*&?"
Ladies, can't you think up about a hundred occasions when you've had to do this?

Now, the chemistry.

We all have Androgens and Estrogens, but in varying quantities. These hormones are, to some degree, responsible for the way we interact with others.

Studies have shown that men who eat large amounts of soy tend to exhibit more of the "feminine" traits, including concern for others' feelings, than those who don't, and the reason for this is that soy is full of estrogens. (My sister started cooking tofu into the food she was serving her husband, without him knowing it. She did notice some small changes, here and there.)

So there's three reasons for you: Nature, nurture, and biochemistry.

Answer 5

I think a person's demeanor has a lot to do with worst-case scenarios. Men are responsible for the security of their families, girlfriends, etc. They must be ready to fight on your behalf. The occasion may never occur, but if it does, everyone will look to him, not to you or your mom, sister, etc. So which would you prefer, a nice, sensitive, polite, thoughtful guy, or a guy who can deck some bum who's mugging you, if the need arises?

I'm not saying that men are entitled to be complete jerks -- they're not -- but they know what's expected of them and it colors their behavior.

Your question is like asking "Why aren't policemen more polite?" The answer is that a policemen has to be prepared to put his own life in danger in a moment's notice, and perhaps shoot people. Is shooting people compatible with politeness and sensitivity? Only in movies.

Answer 6

I think it boils down to expectations. Females expect males to be something for the most part they are not. Most men are goal orientated and not relationship orientated. They want to get from point A to point B in the most direct fashion possible. Women want to get to point B as well but they want to discuss the route, the type of car taken, what to take along on the trip, type of food one needs to bring along and what to wear.

I think that men and women are genetically predisposed to act and react to their environment and then they are socialized by their fathers or other male roles (friends) to assume those dominate male roles and how "true" men act.

Men who are socialized by females are for the most part much more interested in the details of the trip and know that being insensitive to another person brings great pain to the other person and those men act accordingly.

Answer 7

Men, i suppose are driven more by brains than their hearts whereas women are more driven by their hearts, however its doesn't imply that men are heartless. Men , generally are less expressive and have obscure feelings, which they are reluctant to express, unless they find themselves in a very consistent congenial environment. Woman have been demanding for years togethor and foresee long term relationships with men, however men have their social, financial priorities and pending obligations prior to emotions since they are the leaders of the family in case of a relationship conventionally. so unless a man is really sure of commitment , he will not be expressing his emotions openly even if he feels great affinity towards a woman.

hope it helps

Answer 8

it works both ways, i am very emotional and sensitive,
but i have met women just the opposite.
also, a woman may meet a nice guy and in due time
treat him badly for little or no reason and that can
do the trick.
i don,t mean to hurt your feelings, but many women are
users.i hope that to some degree answers your question.

Answer 9

umm that's kind of a stereotype, but traditionally speaking men are thinkers and women are feelers, so in that culturally stereotypical manner it is expected of them. However in the real world there are many feeling type of men and thinking type of women.

Answer 10

watch Bill Engvall stand-up comedy.... He explains it very well.
Men are simple, Women are detail oriented. Its not that we are not sensitive, we just dont think about it.