in may this year i had his son and 2 weeks after he was born i discovered my partner had been lying about everything - pretending to go 2 work & spending all day in the bookies & he lost all our savings & rent which lead to us loosing our house & after being found out then got defensive & tried blaming me so i left with the children & set up a new home of my own with the kids. For the last 5 months he has begged for us back & tried to show me he had mended his ways & i softened & took him back but i didnt let him move back in, i realised he was still playing poker (casinos/pubs/online) & lying to me about it & when i told him to give it up or loose us he told me he couldnt stop playing because it is his life!!! This has gutted me that he could choose poker over us after everything but i know it is an addiction & i want to try & help him only i dont know where 2 start, i have 2 try 4 my family, has anyone been through this or know where i should start?
2007-12-16 03:37:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
gamblers are the same as alcoholics, they lie and cheat the people they love so that they can carry on with their addiction. It is a true addiction if he says it is his life. That means gambling comes before you and your son.
I have first hand experience with this and have seen my best friend lose her house and possessions because her husband could not stop betting on horse races. He bet hundreds and thousands of pounds at a time trying to recoup money he had lost. He was so addicted he couldn't see that only the bookie wins.
In any addiction a change takes place in the brain to make it a compulsion that is very hard to stop. It is like drugs and can take over the mind and body.
Your best move for yourself and your son, is to find the best treatment advise for your husband and then the rest is up to him. You have to have your own life and start living it without your partner. You are young and have everything to look forward to.
Good luck, it isn't easy to watch someone destroying their life in front of your eyes. But you have to let go and begin afresh with your son.
2007-12-16 03:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by jegeonne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and well so and so had built a business, over time he lost 3 million dollars.... now my aunt and uncle live not so good their both unhappy and quess what he still gambles!
Addiction Yesss I'd say so And you will IN fact lose EVERYTHING! He will drag you down with him and his children to This is over your head my head. I know if my uncle lived in a tent he's still Gamble No Joke Run Girl and Run Fast sorry about this But this is very very serious........
2007-12-16 11:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Tony Burke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For him Gamblers anonomus, for you, not him at least not for now. Until he can take responsiblity for his behavior he is a threat (although maybe not a physical one) to your family. You may still love him, the kids may still miss thier Dad but until he can break the cycle of lies and crap he wont be able to love you or the kids. It's no different than any other addiction if you don't let him hit the floor he can never get up.
2007-12-16 11:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Carl B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my relatives gambled away his businesses and lost close to 20 million dollars before he quit. Sometimes a person has to lose everything and hit rock bottom before realizing they have a problem. If you love your man I wouldn't give him any ultimatums, but I would also let him know that you or his children cannot be a part of his life if he wants to gamble.
2007-12-16 11:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done everything you can. He doesn't have strings or a remote control. He has to do the changing. If he says gambling is his life, he is probably right. As much as it hurts, it is reality. You may be sailing on a sinking ship.....
2007-12-16 11:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by Whynot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called counseling. Hire a professional psychologist.
2007-12-16 11:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gamblers anonymous is a good place to start. You should read "Codependent No More" to help YOU.
2007-12-16 11:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bet him that he can't stop and lay out some pretty tempting odds.
2007-12-16 11:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋