I asked for help for my love had a drug problem and she sold her body for it God knows how many times. I wasn't aware of it until way after I had fallen deeply in love with her. I said that the subject came up again several times but it wasn't me that brought it up. It came up because she went off and smoked again and of course I asked if she had prostited for it. It is quite expensive and we are far from rich if u know what I mean. We are broken up now from reasons that are not even about that but I'm asking should I even try to get her back? I am confussed because I love her and I can tell it hurts her when it comes up. I dont want to hurt her I love her. But I cant help but worry how long before she sneaks off again and will it continue forever? I stated being in a Chritian family and u people jumped all over me for judging. I don't feel like I deserve that. It only comes back up when she relapses and I worry. She won't answer her phone and has been known to stay out for 2 and 3 dy
2007-12-16 03:32:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she loves u then she'll get help. If she refuses help then u need to let her go cuz she's obviously not the one for u!
2007-12-16 03:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. The only thing you can do is realize you deserve better and that you deserve a healthy relationship with a healthy woman.
Yes, you may love her, but she won't change until she is ready. So why keep dragging your life through hell.
Quite honestly, if you decide to stick by her then you need to stop complaining! You are making an educated decision to stay, so live with it. If you can't live with it then your only option is to leave.
And if you leave, get some counseling... so you can figure out 1. why you choose women who are not healthy or able to have a healthy relationship and 2. how to not get stuck in a situation like this again.
2007-12-16 03:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry,but yourquestion wsnt clearly stated. It appears your girlfriend is totally addicted t drugs and these drugs have taken complete control of her. She knows its wrong and wants you but when the drugs take over she cant stop and will do whatever to get her next fix. If youre to stay you need to get her professional help and quick. Its called tough love and probably wll be the hardest thing youve ever done, and it wont be easy. Get her the helpand then decde what you want to do,base on whether she gets the help and sticks to it. Be there for when she needs you but there are never any guarantees in life so dont expect big results. Good luck
2007-12-16 03:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump on our cases because you didn't make yourself clear to begin with.......
If she's back to smoking crack, then you're better off without her in your life.
Their addiction is a personal hell that they put themselves into. And yet it's also a journey they'll put a sane person through as well.
I dated an alcoholic. And the BS he put me through was sooooo not worth it.
Find someone that's more on your level. Someone that's into a clean lifestyle.
You can't trust her to stay straight and she's already given you proof why you shouldn't.
2007-12-16 03:45:01 · answer #4 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not about whether or not she loves you (...or she'll get help) its about whether she loves herself. What you are struggling with is co-dependence. You need to get some counseling through an Al-Anon type of group--a group for significant others. The worrying and all of that is a symptom of co dependence--you are giving her this power unwittingly. You really need to talk to others who have been through this---are there any support groups through you r local hospital?
2007-12-16 06:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Stacies Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs rehab - not a week or two but a month or two. She needs to gain her self respect back and get clean. Otherwise, there is no hope for love - if she can't love herself, she definitely can't love anyone else and you will be crushed over and over again.
2007-12-16 03:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by seba2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone and not belong with them. Read "Codependent no More" and you will see that this merry go round you are on, leads only in circles. Love her, pray for her, and let her go. SHE has to want to get clean, and so far that has not happened. You cannot MAKE her want to, no matter what you do. Set firm boundaries, stick to them. For HER and YOU. No "deals".....you are no longer dealing with a loved one, you are talking to the disease.
2007-12-16 03:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her go! She is the only one that can decide if she is going to quit. Most times a person hits rock bottom or dies . Some times when they hit rock bottom they seek out help. You staying with her is not helping her. :--#)
2007-12-16 03:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know to recognize true love for her, accepts her with flaws and all......
First off you can't be her enabler!
You have to say what you mean and mean what you say!
In which you need to tell her straight up that you love her and will support her in long term treatment only.... You will be there for her and offer to spend your life with her as well but not if she doesn't want to get help then my advice to you, in loving her accepting her flaws and all, says you have to walk away and cut your losses if she don't want to get help and long term help!
Because true love for a addict to me is not supporting there habit! As for knowing did she sell herself and dwelling on her pass you have to let it go! You have to support her today! But deal with her addiction first!
2007-12-16 03:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carl....you are enabling your girlfriend by staying with her...I know that you love her...but sometimes you have to have "tough love"....in other words...you need to leave her...and if she really loves herself first and foremost...then she will seek the help that she needs to overcome her drug problem....You are sticking around and loving her...she sees no reason to seek help...if you force her to see what she stands to lose...perhaps she will seek treatment and get the help she needs...
2007-12-16 03:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋