I'm 17 and want to move in with my bf in the U.K. My parents aren't cool with it.?

Question

Does anyone know how I would go about it?

I'm from the U.S. We haven't officially met, but I love him. We've been talking 2 years.

Answer 1

dpepends how long you have been with him, they are worried about letting you get hurt as all parents are, sit down with them and ask them what their biggest fears are of you moving out, explain that nothing in life is guaranteed and it you are sure you want to move out then tell them that they can always look after you by being ther to support you just in case. they will appreciate that you care about their feelings and they may be more supportive

Answer 2

How do you know anything about this person if you haven't met him? He could be a perfectly normal young man, but he could also be a predator pretending to be a perfectly normal young man?

How old is he, what does he do? You do realize you cannot get married in the UK until you are 18, and being a foreign national you will have difficulty getting a marriage license until you have lived together in the UK for 2 years. You won't be able to work unless you are a full-time student in the UK (then you will be able to work up to 20 hours a week). Does your boyfriend have the financial means to support you? You won't be able to work full time until you have been married for a minimum of 12 months.

Your parents have every right to be worried. What if you make that major move to the UK then the boyfriend changes his mind about your living with him? You will not only be emotionally devastated, but you will be stuck in the UK and your parents will have to pay to repatriate you. Just because you fall on hard luck doesn't mean you would be allowed to stay in the UK - quite the opposite. They won't take a hard line and deport you but they will ask you to leave when your money or tourist visa runs out (whichever comes sooner).

Why don't you start by spending the holidays with your boyfriend and his family and get to know him/them, then plan future vacations to visit/spend time with him, his family and his friends. You may not necessarily like living in the UK, especially if you have a good family life back home. The UK can be quite a dreary place to live - the climate's pretty awful and standards of living are lower than in the US. And nearly everything here costs at least 4 times what it does in the US.

Answer 3

I think that, until you are 18, you are technically still your parents' responsibility, so if they are not happy about it, then you will have to be gentle with them. In the UK, you are legally allowed to marry at 16 - but only with your parents' consent until you are 18.

It depends what line your parents are taking (and how you get on with them) as to how you handle it. You may feel that their reasoning is wrong but it is worth showing that you respect their views while, at the same time, you ask them to accept that you have your own - in other words, try to establish mutual respect and tolerance. It is easier to work things out on that basis and will help to demonstrate that you are an adult capable of living your own life.

Since you are not a UK citizen/resident, you will have to have a valid visa for staying longer than 90 days. They are not easy to obtain unless (a) you are a student in a full-time course of study in the UK on a Student Visa, (b) you have legitimate employment in the UK and your employer has applied for a Work Permit (equivalent of Green Card in the US) on your behalf or (c) you are married or have fixed arrangements to be married within 90 days of entering the country (Fiancé Visa).

Edit: Since you haven't yet met, DON'T rush into deciding to move in together. Talking online and on the phone is VERY different from meeting in person and living with someone. I have just returned from the US having gone to meet someone I have known for 2 years online. The 2 months I spent there didn't, as it happens, change our decision to be together but it made us ask some serious questions and make some adjustments.

As I pointed out above, you will only be able to visit the UK for 3 months initially (as a Visitor). To apply for a Fiancé Visa you have to demonstrate that you have met already and it has to be applied for in your home country.

Answer 4

But your only 17, you have so much life to live before you settle down with anyone, I really don't want to be funny but you haven't met him you say, what if he just isn't what you were expecting of him, what would you do then, I know its hard but please listen to your parents, they only have your best interests at heart because they love and care for you very much, maybe a holiday to meet the guy would be better than just moving him with him, just be very careful please.

Answer 5

Wait at least until you turn 18. If your bf respects you, he will wait for you. Moving in can be a big commitment, I guess your parents understand that and only want the best for you.

Answer 6

Your parents are cool with it because you are only 17; wait until you are 18 and if you still want to do it then they can't stop you.

Answer 7

You're moving to another country to be with a guy YOU'VE NEVER MET!!! Don't burn bridges with your parents, cause you'll need their help getting back to the US after you realize what an idiotic choice you made

Answer 8

If you have not met him yet start by spending a short holiday with him - say 2 weeks. You might find he's a very different person to the one you think you know.

Answer 9

You are 17, wait. It really isn't that long and if he won't wait for you long enough to see you turn 18, then he wasn't much of a catch.
And guess what? Your parents must love you if they care what happens to you, feel lucky that they do.

Answer 10

Don't make the mistake of falling out with your parents about it, you need to prove you are all grown up. Ask them to back you up while you move in for a trial period - say a month. They will be proud of how mature you are being about this, and if it doesnt work out, you can always move back home

Answer 11

when you say in the uk.. are you meaning you are comming from another country to stay with your b/f? ask your parents why they arent cool with it and come to some arrangement, they are probably just looking out for your wellbeing. you're still young just make sure you are making the right decision.