I 've been divorced for 4 months now after 11 years and I moved 1000 miles away from my ex. He is moving where I am next week. I just want to heal and things be over and try to be friendly for the kids. He just won't let it go. Got any suggestions?
2007-12-16 00:38:55 · 5 answers · asked by Sparkles 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wants to be with me and the children again but He is like a drill sergent. I can't take the yelling and child like treatment anymore. The stress is so bad my hair is falling out literally. I just want to be by myself. I've experienced so much Peace since I left and there is no way I want that disturbed anyway at all.
2007-12-16 00:51:15 · update #1
There are a lot of women I know with their ex's moving back to be near the kids, and if this is stressing you out, your children are seeing this also, my father was like a drill sergeant and I did not like that at all, I did not even want to see him, when it was my time to see him on weekend visits!
The best thing to do would be to talk to your attorney and let him know how you feel and let him know your fears about how he is acting around you and the children.
You can't keep the children away from him, he is their father, but you can keep yourself away from him!!!!
I would talk to a psychologist, and sometimes you can talk to one for free at your local Family Independence Agency, they will offer free counseling, free advice, on what you can do to ease your anxiety about your ex and your feelings towards him.
Then I would make an appointment with my doctor, because it sounds like you are suffering from anxiety and depression and that is not good for you or for your children to see.
I am on medication for both anxiety and depression and I have been for the last 10 years since the birth of my daughter and they help!!!!!!! If I have to be on them the rest of my life, who cares, they help, right???
I suggest you do the same!!!!!!!
You will feel so much better, and they will help you think clearly!!!
Yesterday, for instance, I had money stolen out of my purse at our local civic center pool where I live, and I know who did it, and I have no proof, isn't that they way!!!!!!
But I am remembering things and being strong and calling the officer who is handling my case and giving him every bit of information I have to nail this girl who took my money!!!!!
Without my meds, I could not be calm and think things throughly, I was upset, yes, nervous, yes, but I am calm and I am getting things done, If I did not have my meds, and my anxiety medicine, I would be a wreck and I would not be able to think clearly!!!!
Now, I am ready to kick a** and take names!!!!!!
2007-12-16 01:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to think hard about what you want to do for youself. I agree to keep the relasonship civil for he kids sake aswell as yours. If you still worryed about the he acts then maybe you need to keep it on a freindship basis i wouldent even consider starting a new relasionship with yet. You need to see how the ground lays first. The father has a right to see the kids ,speek to them and see what thay want to do. You will need to speek to you ex tell him how the kids feel and what your plan of action is. He just can't turn up when he feel like it, you need to point this out. Tell him that he can have the kids once a week for a day. Tell him also he can't carry on acting in the same way otherwise he won't see the kids or you. If i won't comply to what your saying or agree to your terms then you don't allow contact and go to a solicitor and do things through the court. Make sure aswell if he is going to have the kids you know exactley where he is going when he will be back he address and mobile also his number plate of his car.
If you don't feel you can trust him go to you solicitor first.
Only do you what you feel comfortable with and your children.
2007-12-16 01:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's probably too soon for that level of closeness for you yet, but my ex moved near us (our daughter and me), a few years back and it's been great. But we had to have that period of time when we didn't see each other at all first...that was nearly three years.
2007-12-16 00:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him he will not have any legal rights to just drop by when ever he wants. he must call first and you must get a answering machine. you can scan his calls and if he gets carried away calling all the time youll have proof of harrasment.just remember that you are your own person and nothing he can do will be towards you anymore because you dont have to take it.
2007-12-16 00:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
add more detail pls, u mean he wants to be with you again? that's why he moves to where your are?
2007-12-16 00:45:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋