how do you help people without being consumed ?

Question

I would like to help people , with food, shelter, money, work, etc, but the problem and the people become all consuming.
best example or riddle is " no good deed goes unpunished "

for additional information: when I try to help someone, they want more, or they want to drag me into their world or problem. Example : I help someone with free rent for a month, next they just want one more month , can I help them with their utilites, can I carry them to the hospital, can I etc.

Answer 1

It's one of the most discouraging functional aspect of the process of helping needy people.Having been deprived for long of even basic necessities of life,they appear to scrounge the last bit from any one who appears on the scene to do some thing for them.We,on the contrary expect them to have decency or courtesy as we understand it but they have forgotten it long time back and have no scruples what so ever in even exploiting the helpful people.Having gone through this process,I think it's better to work through an organization and more importantly,have least emotional involvement and personal attachment.Focus on the deeds and not the people and learn to differentiate between a needy person and a SUCKER.Take heart and keep going.All the best.

Answer 2

You need to learn when to pull back and when to let go. Some people just can't be helped, some people can be helped, but you just may not be in the position to do it. You definately need to learn your boundaries.

If you see a homeless person, buy them lunch and some water...don't pick them up and bring them home. I mean, some people are in the position to do that...me personally, I'm not, and I know that. That was just an example, but I think you'll probably get the point.

Don't feel guilty for knowing your limitations.

Answer 3

I help people from a distance and do not allow myself to become intertwined and emotionally attached because the joy of helping will be lost.

What you need to do is the learn the art of saying no without being rude.

They beg you to pay their rent or utilities, you say something in a nice tone "I'm afraid I can't help you with the rent or utilities" If you feel the need to add a little lie to the end then say it like this "I'm afraid I can't help you with the rent or utilities; I'm financially strapped/drained".

If they ask you for your time and services and you want to say no, then say it like this "I'm not really fond of doing physical labor or driving and I really have to tend to some urgent business of my own so I won't be able to drive you around."

If you keep saying no to them is a nice manner, eventually they'll learn to become independent. You spoonfeed them for too long then they'll never become independent, why would they need to if they're being spoonfed, know what I mean?

You want to help people in need? How about giving a family a pair of goats so they can breed it and sell it, eat it, get milk and cheese from it? How about doing that through worldvision http://donate.wvus.org/OA_HTML/xxwvibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?cmp=OTC-1185258§ion=10024&xxwvCampaign=1185258&daniel_prod_ses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
People who are truly dying of starvation, who have no tools to become independent.


(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")-(")
Sweetie

Answer 4

so you don't want them to be greatefull.. maybe i'm miss reading this question but ...

lets take this example
if i kept you locked up and never fed you only gave you very little enought to keep you alive. and you were resued would be you consumed with eating more food?
i mean i deprived you for it for x amount of time. and it is a need to live aren't you going to over compensate for that?

Answer 5

Once you give them your finger...then...well this is lack of appreciation. If you feel like helping then do it but try to work for an organization so that you are protected and you do not have to put yourself in risk. Good luck...this one is hard

Answer 6

excuse me? all consuming? in what terms do you exactly mean that? that people become utterly greedy? explain more about your current situation dude, i can't help with a non-specific qs

Answer 7

Do it then walk away without looking back!

Answer 8

Just help vegetarians...

Answer 9

wtf???? lol its a myth