Fiance is interested in crossdressing...?

Question

i don't really mind if he's wearing women's clothes for fun or once in a while but he's recently getting really into it and honestly it's starting to bother me because i don't really feel comfortable with that. i'd like to be supportive and accepting but it simply feels weird...when i try to hint that to him subtly he'd get defensive and says he's just exploring his feminine side and believes he's a woman trapped inside a man's body, but then it'd make him a "lesbian" because he likes female; and criticize me for not being mentally free enough.

AND he's been going to gay clubs and surrounding himself with transexual people...he assures me that he's not turning gay but he likes them and likes crossdressing. i believe him but then is there anything i can say or do to find a balance between his and my wants?

i've just read this http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/help3.htm and what do you think about this?

Answer 1

There are those who crossdress for sexual stimulation, erotic feelings etc. If what you described is true, he is most likely a Transsexual. Many TS people get married hoping it will make this problem go away. It never does.

You may want to help this individual by ensuring that he receives counseling from someone who is skilled in dealing with transgender issues. It may be that he needs you to be a friend, rather than a fiance' or a wife right now.

He will one day have to face the truth with this issue. NOW- seems like it would be a really good time.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Either a crossdresser will control his crossdessing by placing limits on himself, or a crossdresser will be controlled by his crossdressing like an addiction. In the later the man is no longer happy being a man.

I admire you for your efforts in trying to respond to the needs of your fiancee. However all I see is an attempt to fulfill the needs of one side of this relationship. What about your needs?

You have a need to the first love in your fiancee's heart. There is no room for anyone, or anything, to come before you. You have a need to be married to a man, and not be denied his masculinity. You have a need to have children and protect them, and nurture them with every advantage you can offer them.

Your fiancee will be given one opportunity to choose you above everything else, or to succumb to where ever his crossdressing leads him. I suspect that he will believe he must follow his feminine side. In a couple years he will annouce that he is really a woman, and will life as a woman 24/7.

So unless you want to be a lesbian, you must leave him.

Answer 3

First of all, you sound like a very great person who is open and honest and willing to accept people for who they are. But it sounds as if your fiance is being a bit selfish. I don't mean to come off as rude as I don't see anything wrong with the crossdressing. But it seems as if he took your acceptance like a license to do it whenever, however (likek a blank check)

What he needs to understand is that there are two in this relationship, not one. Therefore, he needs to be more considerate of your feelings and find ways to comprimise his desires with your desires. It's only fair, right? I mean afterall, what if the roles were reversed and you were the one who wanted to continuously do something he was ok with and only wanted on occasion? Would he be as nice as you're being?

Also, maybe being subtle may not be the way to discuss it with him. As a guy, when my girlfriend tells me something subtle I usually miss it. (well a good portion of the time) You can confront him about it in a friendly honest way and I hope that he would be receptive to your feelings and see it from your side...thus finding the common ground between you.

hope that helps!

Answer 4

d'oh. i wonder if he's wearing it because he's stimulated by cross dressing? some people do that to achieve a degree of pleasure. in this case, i think you should adopt a wait and see attitude. confirm if he's really doing it for fun, and not going straight to gay/homo stuff. i dont think your current predicament is difficult, but rather interesting. if you try to understand why he's doing so, you might be able to use his current hobby in your later sex life. some people also do crossdressing as a foreplay. however, if you cannot accept it, no matter no how, i guess you should do some serious 'communication' on how you should accept his habit. btw, what the webpage said was true to a certain extent. some people do that because of their repressed feelings, or a certain background of them that pressed the need.

Answer 5

If he's interested in cross-dressing & you don't have a problem with it, them make him dress-up as a girl for a whole weekend & let him see what it's like to be a girl for the weekend & treat him like your girlfriend too. Take him out to get his nails done, go shopping, have lunch or dinner, even take him out to a club, let him see what it's really like for a girl on a Saturday night. And Sunday morning tell him that he can watch all the football he wants, but he must dress-up like a cheerleader & after all the games are over, ask him if he's still interested in cross-dressing? Then take it from there...


jk

Answer 6

I am a 19 year old straight guy, and I wear women's clothes all of the time, I wear skirts dresses even tights to school, and to just go somewhere to hang out with my friends. I am 100% straight, have had girlfriends who liked it, had one who never even saw me dressed as a guy. It was awesome, because I was able to be her BF for the things she needed one for, and also be her GF to shop with and get manicures and hair done with, so it is the best of both worlds.

Answer 7

Get out while you can. No real men around?

Answer 8

i've just read this http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages... and what do you think about this?