cos he obviously has better things to do than see them. when he does its a quick trip to mcdonalds before he rushes back to his seedy little life of alcohol........should i stop him seeing them altogether >???
2007-12-15 23:47:15 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, let me look into my crystal ball and see his future.
hmmmm..... I see a lonely old man sitting by himself in a dark room, angry at the world and wondering why his kids don't want anything to do with him.
It's really sad, you know? But don't force him either way. And try to find a substitute male role model for your kids, like a granfather or uncle who leads a more upstanding life.
2007-12-15 23:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by Fancy That 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should be angry because he let them down, but not let them see it. Hard I know, but playing the better parent is a good role to take on.
You shouldn't stop them seeing him. You loved him once because there was something good in him. Give your kids the chance to find it now.
My husband turned into the monster from hell, but I never let on to the kids until they were old enough to say it out loud for themselves.
You don't have to defend him either, just remind them that what ever his sins he still loves them and that they are important in his heart and his eyes.
Mine still see him once in a while because as they say, " He is our dad after all.", but it is me they take care of and fuss over when the fancy takes them!
Besides you never know what the future may hold in store.....!
2007-12-16 00:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex is always letting my daughter down, I did think about not letting him see her...but at the end of the day she loves him to bits and he is her father so I decided it would be wrong to do it. Now I don't tell her when he is coming to pick her up, just in case he doesn't show...that way she isn't disapointed if he doen't!...the alcohol is a bit worrying, I would be having a very serious word with him about this, he shouldn't be looking after his kids if he is in no state to do so and if you feel this when he does eventually show up you should tell him he can't see the kids until he is sober.
2007-12-15 23:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is going to be really hard but never stop it and never try to say anything.
Most men do not have that maternal bond like women.
My ex is a good man has religion always took care of his kids but when he got remarried he dumped on his kids also.
Try your best to encorage the relationship mine are now teenagers and I so bad wish he would take them more so I could have a life.
Make sure he shared in the responsibility of being a father.
2007-12-15 23:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I was involved with a similar situation I used to pick them up and go to McDonalds as well, because everywhere else was way too expensive and probably boring.
If I splurged, then I wouldn't be able to meet my child support payments, which I did dutifully and then some (now that they are adults, I still help them out)
I never resorted to boozing or drugs or anything. I just kept at my job and did moonlighting to meet those high payments.
I have to admit, looking around, we have a severe shortage of parents...I mean true to the word parents, and fathers are either incarcerated or boozing and wallowing in their beer.
Shame.
What a world...and it ain't getting better.
2007-12-15 23:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
This has happened to me when I was a child. My dad always made plans and I be excited all day waiting for him to come looking out the window every moment when you hear a car, but of course he never come and make up some excuse...I mean sometimes he'd come thru but most of the time it was letdown after letdown and what eats me the most is i kept fallin for it. Now he doesn't even call I seem him in a public place and it hurts...
So my advice is do what my mom did build up their self esteem tell them what is wrong with ur ex and how he love them but loves the flask more...don't let them get disspointed...But i would keep the opportunity open for him to come even if he won't
2007-12-15 23:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by MonieLove 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my freaking unsuccessful incompetent loser clown dad. I'm 23 now. I don't see my dad anymore and thank God. It is not worth one bit letting your kids acknowlegde him as their father just for some quick trips to mcdonalds. That is not how a father should be like. As your kids get older, it will only remind them how lousy their father is. So it is not worth it. They are better off with somebody who can show them good examples and how to live a positive life.
Btw, the quick trip to mcdonalds was just to fill his own stomach. Just the same as my f.ucking dad. All he does is take the convenience to fill his own god damn stomach and then what? Your kids are suppose to be grateful for that and call him father? NO.
2007-12-16 00:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by James ™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your ex has a lot of problem already,and cutting ties with his kids will only gets worse,instead be a bit understandable with his problem,tell him that the more he gets hooked into alcohol the more time he will missed seeing his kids,never confront an alcoholic about problems like this cause they will resort more on drinking a lot of it,make some positive spin about this situation,always tell him that his kids needs a sober dad,and that they are waiting and dreaming for those days that there dad will come and pick them up without alcohol influence,you need to be the nice person on this situation for the sake of your kids,and good luck to you
2007-12-16 00:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lionel M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has problems in his life that may take years to repair. Don't take the kids away unless you think he has been drinking before he stops by to pick up the kids. If he shows up drunk then call the police and refuse to allow him to take the kids. You are responsible for your kids and as you appear to have yourself together take the high road on this. You must do the right thing for the kids. Do not put the kids lives in harms way. Suggest AA to him as you care what happens to the kids when he doe manage to pick them up. If you must go back to court see if they can set up a third party escort for the kids sake.
2007-12-15 23:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by THing4CSA 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you think the children are in danger, then stop them, if he is straight I would let him see the kids. Kid's need there Dad's even if they are smucks. I had a X come to the door drunk, to pick up the kids, they of course didn't go. These are hard years for you and the kids, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, Be patient and use your good judgement, we mothers are tuned into our kids, if your gut says no, then don't let them go.
~God bless~
2007-12-16 01:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by luvspace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋