Why r there so many divorces (50%+) in the US/Canada, than compared to arranged marriages (divorce rate 1.1%)?

Question

I am East Indian: Most of my relatives had arranged marriages and they are very happy (contrary to what western society may think).
-Why arrange marriages work out:
1)Both families look for both partners of equal qualifications (eg. education, looks, personal attributes, values, cultures (for compatibility))
2)After extensive research by families, girl/guy meet and discuss many things in order to find compatibility.(if not, then marriage is cancelled)
3)Both partners have had very limited number (or none) X- partners, so their love is much more intense. (Dont tell me that love doesn't lose some of its meaning by having more partners b4 marriage, ofcourse it does and you know that, too).
4)Extensive network of close family/freinds is also involved. This provides support and positive reinforcement to both partners to make their marriage work even at bad times
5)Partners are much more less likely to cheat or simply get 'BORED' out of marriage(as is the case in some ppl in US/Canada)

Answer 1

Studies do show that arranged marriages are happier. People in "love" marriages in the west go into it with high expectations and then are disappointed when they have children and their marriage becomes less passionate. However, people with arranged marriages go in with low expectations and then are pleased when things work out. So, you're absolutely right about this, although it's not a western idea.

Answer 2

It seems as if you answered your own question. I wonder why you asked it, was it just to inform westerners about the positiveness of arranged marriages?
I think in cultures with arranged marriages, there is an expectation of constancy. There is pressure by the famly not to get divorced. Personally I believe the only things that end a marriage and give the spouse a chance to remarry are cheating and death. As far as divorce, there are several reasons I would get divorced but even if I did then I would still not be able to remarry because if my husband has not cheated or died then even though I am divorced legally in God's eyes I am still married. A couple of reasons not including adultery to get divorced are, 1) abuse 2) unwillingness to take care of family...ie: stealing money, not paying bills when able to, using money selfishly such as in drugs, These are serious things and I would not get divorced it my husband was unable to pay the bills due to a lack of available work.
I tend to agree with your principles of an arranged marriage but instead of just that I would like to meet the person go on dates things like that and then when we think it is time to get married, have the families do from your number 1. I think that would be best. I would not like for my father to come to me and say dear we found you a husband you will marry and you will like it. I would rather like it first and then have my parents check him out.
Being bored in a marriage I believe is a lack of communication or an unwillingness on one or both parts to attend to the needs of the other.
Today I am quite bored and have been for a while and I know why but it is not likely to change. I am not going to get divorced because I am bored. I either need to change the situation or not worry about it.
A word too about the american culture. It seems as if the people are being taught to attain to a higher standard of almost everything. The best of everything. Once you have something then suddenly you see a better thing you get rid of the first and go for the better. It is not a good way of doing things. Computers are a good example. New computers like possible marriage mates are coming out all the time. If people look at marriage like that then they are more willing to just find another when it no longer meets their needs. It is a sad situation.
My husband is my family and will stay that way for as long as he chooses to be that or until he dies.

Answer 3

What happens to the parties that end up divorced in those situations? Are they able to re-marry? Maybe the negative repercussions of divorcing is far worse than staying with somebody you don't love anymore or ever (as far as economical..maybe other??)?

That check list looks pretty good and would work for somebody who is seriously looking for somebody, and that's usually when somebody is serious about somebody they bring them to meet the parents/guardians (if they weren't serious they wouldn't bother)

However....
"Don't tell me that love doesn't lose some of its meaning by having more partners b4 marriage, of course it does and you know that, too"

There is a difference between love and whatever other partners in the past, and if it has lost some of it's meaning then maybe there isn't enough there to make it an intense love.

People marry here mostly because they fall in love regardless of cultures, race, economical background, or religion sometimes they make it sometimes they don't.

Answer 4

Just because you know a lot of people who are happily married, even if their marriage was arranged, it doesn't mean that all marriages are happy. You also say "partners are much more less likely to cheat or simply get 'BORED' out of marriage" but show no proof. Why would people in arranged marriage are much more less likely to cheat? Did you do a research on it?

There are many other factors why people get married and divorce. Is it easy to get divorced in India? Is it frowned upon divorce?

Answer 5

I would like to comment on that without being harsh most western society accept divorce because we raise our kids to be independent and do what they want. Also women work in the west so allot of time you have two people trying to be in control.
Arranged marriage it would be a shock on the family who are very close to shame them also most arrange marriage the women are raised to be submissive of course the marriage seems happy to most men because they are treated like kings.
It is good for the women because the man would bring great shame on his family if he left and did not take care of his kids.
I been around people my whole life that have arranged marriage most of the time the culture teaches them you cannot bad mouth your husband or marraige so with that being said it looks on the outside like everyone is happy.

In the west it was like that 50 years ago my grandma stayed married never bad mouthed my grandfather and now he is dead and she tells me how unhappy she was and wish she lived in today's society but back then she could not shame her family
I am not saying divorce is ok because it is not I am against it but this could be reasons why you dont see it so much in arranged marriage.

Answer 6

Marriage doesn't work for anyone all over the world. If the divorce laws were fair in Canada and the US the divorce rate would be 95%. And in your country the reason it works so great is that all men cheat over there just like they do here but women don't have rights over there no matter what you say or what your laws say. Women are not considered equal over there even if they can vote. I have travelled all over the world and the divorce rate is low in South America as well. Same situation women have no rights no matter what the laws say. So keep your fantasy BS to yourself!!! It is pretty hard for a slave to divorce her husband when he is allowed to beat her in the street!!!

Answer 7

Its really sad when two people need others to tell them who they can marry...To bad they can not think for themselves...Who do they blame when it doesn't work??? The relatives...I know so many in arranged marriages who are so unhappy and feel stuck...They have to live with relatives, have no private time and are expected to be the live in slave...People need to live and learn, not be told what to do...Unless they are little children...I rather make my own mistakes and be responsible for my choices...because they are mine...

Answer 8

No its because the girls being forced in to marriage dont have a choice.....They are threatened if they dont marry the arranged partner. So of course their marriage lasts as they are too petrified to get out of it

Answer 9

In everything we do, Americans are always trying to take the easy way out instead of putting a little effort into it. That's why we have so many heath problems including obesity

Answer 10

When the U.S. was founded our ancestors had a SERIOUS problem with Homosexuality (with many it bordered hatred) and were also "Christian". This mind-set stayed with some of the people through to today. Homosexuality WITHIN the Church (By Church I mean Christians not an institution) makes a mockery of the Church because sin makes a mockery of the Church. why? Sin shows hypocrisy because Christians are telling others that they are free from sin and that others shouldn't sin while still living in sin. Hatred of homosexuals, or anybody for that matter, is a sin and I think hatred within the Church makes an even bigger mockery of the Church than homosexuality and divorce combined. The divorce rate is a problem, gay marriage is a problem, BUT hating those who do such things and being fake about what we (Christians) believe is the BIGGEST problem. HOPE THIS HELPS!