so, i wrote this poem a few minutes ago.......
Exactly, Pitch Black
the sky dissapears
the earth turns black
i cry
i hear the words,
of the dead
pass me by
as i lay
dying a horrible death
but not
feeling pain
but from what?
im not able to deceifer
where did the pain come from?
why does it have to be me?
what is truly wrong?
ho long?
time
so lonely
memories as far as you can see
just pitch black pain
holding you down
the sharpness...
needles....?
a single word
not to be spoken
seen of fear
and pain alike
just pitch black silence
holding you down
so loud it hurts
exactly....
2007-12-15 18:55:14 · 21 answers · asked by skye 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Wow. Just... Wow.
I've starred this so I can come back and read it again. Right now, though, I'm trying to ignore my own pain.
[Edit]
Prose is a valid form of poetry. I happen to prefer it.
Fix the spelling errors (decipher, how), but leave everything else as is. This is how you express yourself. If you follow a bunch of rules laid out by others, you're not being your authentic self.
.
2007-12-15 19:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by YY4Me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me the poem you wrote sounds as if your trying to describe some personal anguish your feeling. It sounds like you are hurting about something. Maybe you are depressed about something. If so talk to someone. Anyone. If not, and I am totaly off base, hey it is a good poem.
Oh Yea, if you need to chat, to just talk to someone anomously I am sure someone would be willing to chat with you!
2007-12-16 03:00:25 · answer #2 · answered by paul829201 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like you are venting frustrations, from a general displeasure with your life. Not sure which direction you should take. I think it's a matter of making some tough choices and it's scary to face that, maybe that's your "pitch black"?
What do you think?
2007-12-16 03:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by afrocentric4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this poem i find hope, that maybe odd but that is what i find. If you see as much heart break and pain as i do you would see the hope of release in this poem. I like it. then agine i tend to be a missunderstood optomist than a pesamistic death seeker. i see a need of hope and i like it. it refleckts what i see in the world. pain and suffering but a chance of hope. keep perging yourself of pain, that also makes for better poetry
2007-12-16 03:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by gretch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought was a person who in disarray and feeling emotional pain because of a repressed memory, or possibly memories. It's like you can't pinpoint the pain or distress or anxiety, and what you can't pinpoint is in your subconscious somewhere irretrievable. And the fact that you can't pinpoint it causes even more pain, distress, anxiety, hopelessness....
2007-12-16 03:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by mic4588 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its about someone going through not physical but emotional pain or some kind of emotional hardship
Its really effevtive tho :)
2007-12-16 03:00:36 · answer #6 · answered by ~Hanan~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi. i like it. perhaps it means the end of something good. only thing i don't like, in songs and poetry, is when the writer asks questions. i think the reason most read poetry or listen to music is that they are looking for comfort or answers. so questions take away from the art.
2007-12-16 03:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rhoda Ro 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
deceifer - decipher* ?
-
Makes me think of the world destroying itself and ultimately - consuming us along with it.
It also reminds me of myself falling into the vast fathomless of painful and forgotten memories
-
Probably not accurate, but either way, good poem.
2007-12-16 03:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't this poem is that profound. but I think it is slightly apocalyptic and filled with despair. a heart longing for numbness
2007-12-16 02:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by chiknmnkeyboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly...
as before
through Heaven's
Revolving Door
2007-12-17 04:01:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋