My husbands a jerk?

Question

because we just had a really fun night together playing poker, video games and drinking. Then had great sex. He fell asleep. Then his stupid friend called and wants my husband to go have a drink a couple blocks away. Now I would go with him but I have two kids asleep in the other room. Do I have the right to be a little upset when I say I'm sick of always being left alone when he goes to hang out? I also don't care he's going for a drink. We have alcohol. So his two single friends take him away from his family instead of sticking around here. Especially after such a great night. It makes me feel like I'm not enough.
Honestly it's late and I'm still kinda drunk so I'm usually not this pissed but tonight really bugged me. Not sure this is much of a question but should my husband be shocked when he gets the cold shoulder when he gets home?

I guess throughout my married life he knows I'll stay with him. You teach people how to treat you. He leaves and I stay. He chooses others and I stay. I love him to death but he still drives me crazy.

Answer 1

Lol yes we teach people how to treat us. Dr. Phil says that a lot. I like that sentence. Anyway, I think you are right to be a little perturbed by that. He might be shocked but that's because he does not have an understanding of the situation.
He may say he does but in reality if he understood he would not be leaving you like that especially late at night after having such a great night.
In the morning or at the next opportunity, when neither of you are drunk or hungover and the kids are not around, like playing or sleeping, I would speak with him about it. I would ask him how would he feel if you went out right after sex to go have a few with your buddies and leave him with the kids.
You do not have to leave your husband he is not cheating on you but he does need to know how this is affecting you.
So calmly talk to him about it trying to leave emotion out of it because men don't respond well to emotion only facts. Just the facts ma'am.

Answer 2

Welcome to marriage and reality. If you love him and he is a good man keep forgiving him because the next man will cheat on you too and maybe worse. YEAH YEAH I know your husband has never and would never cheat you are so great, whatever!!! Sounds like you are learning the facts of life here are more just in case:

1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike the other answers you will get.

Answer 3

i think i will be more concerned that you guys got drunk and had great sex and possibly made loads of "great sex" sounds while your 2 kids are possibly awake at this time in the other room.
as for your husband going out with his friends, you have to understand that both yourself and him needs some time of from each other. and yes, getting into marriage life doesnt mean having your life revolved around each other only. there has to be a medium in between. instead of giving a cold shoulder tomorrow, wait until you are both sober and not suffering from a major hangover (hope you two are not constant drunks for the sake of your kids' safety) and then have a quiet talk. no accusations, no tantrums, just 2 civlized people who love each other talking about a minor issue.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear that. It's a matter of priorities. Like all things in life he has to balance things in favor of what is important to him. talk to him, he may be the type who can't say no to a buddy though he may have wanted to be home next to you. Or it's the peer pressure thing- single guys talk an attached friend by using the "whipped" word etc. Explain how much of a good time you had and how it made you feel when he left. He needs to know that when it's your time together nothing should come between that important moment. And he needs to set aside time for himself too but through mutual consent. Anyway I hope it works out for you both. Good luck.

Answer 5

My boyfriend does the same thing to me. We could spend a great evening together and he will go out with his friends. ( He also has two friends that are single and I also have two kids). I may not be able to go out with him all the time but when we do it's great. Don't make a big deal out of it. Trust me I know. The arguing will go no where. Don't ruin the good evening that you had. Have more sex when he gets back and maybe he won't go next time. Good luck.

Answer 6

You're not alone. My husband also always go out, leaving me and our 2 daughters at home Upset?? Of course, and i also feel so lonely, deserted, like i'm being forced to stay at home. Every weekends, almost every nights, i'll be alone in the room with our girl seeing the 4 walls, listening to the silent of the lonely nights.

Answer 7

Give him a taste of his own medicine, the next time you have a great night together, get one of your girlfriends to ring you up and invite you around for a couple of drinks, and you take off and leave him at home with the kids on his own for an hour or so, and see how he likes it.

Answer 8

Be careful here. Although I agree that this is rude of him, One point to consider before the cold shoulder. 1. I know more about why you are upset than your own husband will because you shared it with me along with what you don't mind and do. You made it clear so I have no guessing game to play when answering. Now we have communicated. Cheers

Answer 9

hey i know what you mean i feel the same way husband don't want to help with the kids or how about this or barely take u any were or do any thing you asked him but so his friend call he is up and out and yes it's ok to be mad and it's not u it's him e mail me some times

Answer 10

Next time this happens call up your ex BFs some good guy friends and tell them loudly over the phone that since your man is leaving you to go out you would like them to come over?? Make sure he hears it.