When the topic of "cheating" pops up, it's like a witch hunt! If the lot of you could, you'd be castrating men for cheating. Doesn't sound like love to me.
I would forgive my wife for cheating, and I would hope the same compassion and empathy from her.
Marriage is complicated, people make wrong turns, and we learn to forgive and love on.
What's with all you ladies who are ready to throw away everything you have built just because a mistake, or a distraction?
2007-12-15 17:51:42 · 14 answers · asked by stupidity_of_pride 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men and women cheat for different reasons. Usually men cheat because of a "distraction," as you put it. To men, it's not usually an emotional issue. Often it has been just physical, which it's with a woman they know little about. To women, it is more emotional. They would sooner cheat with a long time friend than with some guy off the street.
When a man cheats on a woman for any reason, there is more anger. Partly because society allows women to express their emotions. Even though this may mean nothing to the man, his woman has emotional ties with this. Her trust in him has been broken. When a woman cheats, more often than not, the guy will just dump her. There won't be any "talking it out" or expressing of feelings.
Assuming that both sexes cheat equally... More men cheat because more men get caught. Women, although not all, can tell when a man cheats. Some can tell even before it happens. Women don't cheat "as much" because they are better at hiding it. The only reason they get caught is because they want to (or are just stupid).
With this kind of knowledge it would be safe (not necessarily right) to say that more men cheat. In fact, "so many men cheat", that they have earned the witch hunt.
I'm not saying it's ok to cheat as long as you don't get caught. I'm just saying that, after centuries of being conditioned to think that it's more ok for men to cheat than it is for women, one would have to assume that more men cheat then women. Hence, it is in a man's nature to cheat and therefore "all men are the same," with a few exceptions, while all women are "saints, except, of course, for the who*es."
It's nice to see that you say you would forgive, but honestly, you won't know exactly how you'll react until it happens.
2007-12-15 19:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by June C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People do make mistakes but if you truly loved your wife (or husband) you would not cheat. I forgave the first time and even the second time but he was out by the third time. He cried and cried. Told me how sorry he was and he couldn't live without me(said he would kill himself); he couldn't help himself, she came onto him--bla bla bla. Whatever. It's not a witch hunt. He was the one that threw everyting away.
And what would you really do if you were in that situation? People say what they would do, I know I was one of them until it happened to me. And would you really forgive her if it was your father, brother, or best friend? Don't pass judgement if you have never been in that situation before. And it is not all of the ladies. There are more and more men that are unforgiving for this 'mistake/distraction'. Goes both ways.
How old are you and how long have you been in your marriage?
2007-12-15 18:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, can you honestly say you would forgive the woman. I think you say that now because no one has cheated on you. If it actually happened I think you would leave her and think otherwise. I am not ready to throw everything away. But if it happens once it will happen again. Thats what happens. I would much rather my husband come to me and explain the situation before he cheated and there would be a possibilty that we could work something out if need be. But if he went and did what he wanted to do and I found out he was cheating then no.
2007-12-15 18:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Caitlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sheer BS...if your wife ever cheated on you, you would show her the door...Men don't take kindly to infidelity from their wives, so when the cheating questions pops up, and most woman answer in the negative and give the man a good dressing down, it is the same equation...Infidelity is immoral and wrong in men and women. Yes, people make mistakes, but I believe a man if he is caught cheating, he has to make amends, get rid of the mistress, and start acting like a moral husband and human being...So, that is why women react so badly to cheating...It is morally wrong.
2007-12-16 10:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a married woman who would not throw everything away because my husband cheated on me. So, don't throw the "lot" of us in one great big bundle.
I took marriage vows. If my husband cheated on me, I too would try to work on making the marriage better. I would not just throw our marriage to the curb because he cheated. I can't say that I would easily forgive him, nor would I expect him to easily forgive me if I were to cheat on him. But, if we were in that position, then I would fight to make our marriage work.
I think in today's society, divorce is too easy an answer. You can say the vows, but you should know what you are getting into before you say those vows, and think about what you would do if...
The only thing that I thing that I think is a deal breaker is physical and mental abuse. That is not something I would be willing to accept.
2007-12-15 18:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by sarlha 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the saying is "Hell hath no fury like a women scorn."
Whether it's the guy cheating on the woman or woman cheating on the guy, it's unforgivable. Even if you did forgive, why would you want that guys sloppy seconds? Seriously, I couldn't imagine being with my girlfriend if she cheated on me.
You're right, people make mistakes during marriages. Most are forgivable, but not cheating. You'd be an idiot to accept him/her back.
Brandon
2007-12-15 18:02:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
first if a man loved a woman that damn much that "distraction" wouldnt have happened in the first place. I also belive men are just naturally more forgiving and willign ot just get over it then most women who tend to be more emotional. I would be one of those women so can't say much else
2007-12-15 17:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by Really now... 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you obviously have not read your statistics. women and men nowadays practically are on the same level when it comes to cheating. females just happen to use their heads and be more discreet about it. so if you were my man and i caught u cheating, dont worry. i wont be naive and "ridged" (a chain of hills or mountains) and throw away everything we have. but i will cheat on you too. and i expect you not to be naive and rigid and throw away everything we have. fair enough?
2007-12-15 18:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by blah blah 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
And if you told her you would forgive her for cheating, she will think its ok because you will forgive her...There is no reason to cheat, if you want to be with someone else then dont put someone else through heck because you feel like seeing someone else...This is not a mistake, we have have brains and we are meant to use them...We choose the things we do...
2007-12-15 17:59:26 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
early on in our marriage, the topic of infidelity came up. we both agreed that if it happened, it did not necessarily mean divorce.
fast forward 22 years. it happened. of course i was devastated, but divorce was not in our vocabulary, even then. we worked thru it and are still together. it was 30 years last july. he broke it off with her immediately after being found out and never heard from her again.
now, of course, if he had told me he was in love with her, if he wouldn't have stopped all contact with her, it would have been another story.
things happen. you learn to work it out, or you get out. and it is NOT true,,,once a cheater, always a cheater.
2007-12-15 19:25:11 · answer #10 · answered by vanessa c 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋