Lately it seems like there are all these new "rules"...?

Question

that I'm not aware of in my marriage. For instance, this evening as we were getting ready to eat dinner (in front of the tv...nothing formal) my mom called on my cell phone. We chatted for about 10 minutes and when I went back to the table, my husband seemed irritated. He told me that he wasn't mad, but that he thought I should have told her to call back since we were eating. I didn't think it was a huge deal, but his comment made me feel bad. Also, last week we went on a trip to NYC with some friends. It was very cold and we were waiting outside for someone to take a picture, so we stopped in front of a store. Everyone was looking at the windows...so I said to my husband (in a sarcastic tone) "you know, we can go inside!" since it was freezing. He literally didn't speak to me for and hour or so, and when he did he said that I was being a jerk for saying that. We are usually very jokey with each other, and I explained that I was kidding, but he didn't believe me. I guess the

point is, is that I always seem to make the wrong decisions regarding what I think it right and what he thinks is right. One minute what I do is ok...the next it isn't and I end up feeling badly about myself because he has a problem with it. I don't know what to do...any suggestions?

Answer 1

I would come right out and ask him what the deal is. I have experienced this with my fiance. He and I are very jokey with eachother and we both playfully pick on eachother. However, there were a few times he got really irritated with me and snapped at me over something I said. I was completely joking and was surprised he took it that way. This went on for a few days and I finally just confronted him about it and he expressed his hurt feelings over something I had said days ago and since then was getting easily irritated by jokes I made. So, I would just come right out and ask him about it!

And about the cell phone thing. I can see both sides to this. If the dinner was completely informal and you two were watching TV, I can see how you would assume it wouldn't be a big deal to talk to your mom for a few minutes. On the flip side, I can see how this would bother him if he was trying to spend some time with you, even if it was in front of the TV. The fact that he got annoyed shows that he cares about your time together, in my opinion. I personally don't like it when people answer their phones while we are eating together.

Answer 2

My first thought:
Something else is going on that is threatening his role as the “man.” He is feeling like he isn't getting enough respect. The phone call thing is big to me as well. Take the call from mom, find out everything is OK, and then tell her you will call her back later on. Regarding phone calls from mom, that advice is appropriate provided you only talk to your mom a couple of times a week--at most. If you talk to her every day (or multiple times a day), you need to realize you are married now and you need to build a life with your husband (which may threaten your mom somewhat). Unless it is a true emergency, your spouse should always come first. Otherwise, how can you expect him to?

Outside of the store, you basically asserted your authority. It wasn’t funny and just barely snippy (I assume your comment was based on his earlier behavior that led you to believe he wasn’t happy, which made you a bit miffed). After your comment, he could either stay out in the crowd, looking at goofy moving stuffed animals in the cold (with his wife and friends) or he could separate from the group and walk into a department store alone (oh what fun for a guy). Bringing this to the surface in front of friends is also very emasculating. We all know that the woman is actually in charge, we just like to keep the façade in place…especially in front of friends. Also, there might be other things that are challenging his role in the relationship like not spending enough time with his friends/too much time with your friends, maybe he didn’t get a promotion or bonus, maybe you did? It’s very old-school psychology, but spend some time validating his masculinity and let him take charge (even if it takes him awhile to choose the restaurant, hail a cab, etc…and make sure he knows you are happy when he does things). I’m not telling you to suck up to him or anything; it’s still an equal relationship. I just think he isn’t feeling as important to you as he used to…do things that will make him happy and make it easy for him to make you happy.

It’s great that you guys are at least identifying things and looking to address them. All great things take a little (or a lot) of work sometimes. It’s worth the effort!
Enjoy the holidays!

Answer 3

Your probably newly married and your both getting accustomed to each others erks and styles..

About the dinner issue and mom calling you taking 10 mins. out to talk to her. He felt off because this is the time he can take with you to talk about his day or whats new with you. a little quality time and you can talk to mom and other people all day long but during supper he would like to eat in peace meaning no phone calls or disturbance you can understand that.

Now for you pointing out and being sacrastic in front of others and dissing him like that naturally he will not be pleased. Just think if you were in a group of people and he made some wize crack and made you feel stupid or discounted.

So although you didnt' mean anything by it . it came across the wrong way. Keep those things when its just the two of you but don't throw jabs out in front of public like that.

You will come to learn his likes and dislikes as he will yours give it time.

Answer 4

2 cups milk
4 eggs
3/4 cup biscuit baking mix
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 (10 ounce) package chopped frozen broccoli, thawed and drained
1 cup cubed cooked ham
8 ounces shredded Cheddar cheese

Answer 5

Men are so hard to please. But try to communicate with him and find out the real reason behind his temper. Men lack the communication skill women have. Good luck.

Answer 6

I guess that he is in adellima that what I should speak with her first. He is waiting me to speak. and also he has doubt on me.

Answer 7

he sounds very "uptight" tell him to chill out a bit,