I have a 19 yr old daughter that has been in a unhealthy relationship for almost a yr. Everyone around can tell shes unhappy but she wont admit it. Shes down to 86 lbs ( shes 4'11') He controls all her actions, checks her email, cell phone bill, shes not hiding from her family and friends, but has become distant. I dont want to step into her relationship but I am very concerned about her well being. I never see her smile , laugh or joke around anymore. She used to be so much fun. She doesnt even see her best friend who shes considers her "sisiter" Hes changed her into a totally different person. I want my daughet back....any advice??
2007-12-15 15:17:06 · 11 answers · asked by just ask 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Sounds like my marriage ... Talk to her before she ends up like me far from my family and no way out ...
It's hard to watch I know, I've been on both sides of that. But you really need to tell her you are there and you love her no matter what, if she EVER for any reason wants to come home or needs you, you will be there no questions asked. I unfortunately never had that option so .... All you can really do is wait for her to realize if you try to start problems she will suffer for it and you'll suffer watching it. So try to be patient and help her out
2007-12-16 00:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Holly Cookie Starr™♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is SO tough. I know because my youngest daughter was in TWO relationships like this between the ages of 22 and 28, and I was 2000 miles away in another state. It was awful. I hate to tell you that you just can't tell her anything that she will listen to- she already KNOWS that it's a bad relationship. Reassure her that IF and WHEN she is ready to get out of it, you will be right there for her- to help her move, to take her back into your home, whatever she needs. I literally had to pretend I didn't have a daughter during that time because it just about killed me thinking about her getting hit and verbally abused and all the other horrible thinga that were going on. I only spoke with her when she would call me from her job (she couldn't call from the house) and we would just say the most impersonal things so I wouldn't start in on the situation. She finally had enough and got out -after several scarey tries- met a guy who let HER walk all over HIM (which really isn't any better, but at least she wasn't getting hurt), had a baby and finally decided to get strong and be single while she figures out what a healthy relationship is. She and my granddaughter moved across the country a year ago and now live with me. She's got a great job, her daughter is happy and she is still single- thank God! Good luck to you. You'll be in my thoughts.
2007-12-15 15:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by nanny411 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You cant do anything unless u stop them from doing there relationship I am telling u he will keep doing this untill ur daughter get into the psycho. rehab. listen to me and do what I am telling you just break this relationship ASAP and be patient about her and about her pushes and ignore him and dont let them meet or talk or anytype of contact make her go to her old friends.
Good Luck
2007-12-15 20:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a daughter that is 15, she and I have a a very open relationship, I made this one thing very clear to her years ago, and remind her of it all the time , that she can talk to me about anything, because anything she might be going through, or has done , I have most likely been there done that or worse...If I were you I would get her alone and talk to her..if this means you opening up to her, she might open up to you, this might make her feel more comfortable telling you what is going on in her life, I have learned one thing for sure trying to force info out of her/my daughter, only drives it deeper into themselves, she needs to know she can trust you...let her know you are there for her no matter what may come.....on the other hand..being a Daddy, me and Jr would have to have a little talk, and chances are we would come to an agreement !!!
2007-12-15 16:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by little eagle 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
This is really serious issue, I would advice for you to do is try to win more your daughter trust and show her you are ready to listen to her side….in this issue for sure you need to talk to your daughter, it seems there really wrong in her for changing a lot as like as you said.
- Be calm and try your best to win her trust to open up what are her problems.
- Try your best to show that you so much concern in her situation now and open up to her that you’re not happy in what happening to her because the effect on her is not good.
- Let her know that you only want and intention is seeing her happy and not like that now in situation, let her know that you are her mother and you would be there in any situation for her.
- Tell to her that if there’s a person that will first affect in what’s happening to her life let her that….its you, because all the mother’s here in this world was only want is happiness for their children’s.
But really the best way to solve this is communication, “conversation”. Open up with her what really bother you in her situation, tell her your not happy seeing her like that and don’t let your daughter affect her life for this unhealthy relationship, you are her mother, you have the rights to protect your daughter in this unhealthy situation and the effect in your daughter was not good so don’t waste more time, talk to your daughter and help her to bring back her life in normal with a smile in face.
Remember don’t be afraid to open to your daughter’s what’s really bothering you, your just concern and want her to be happy. I hope your daughter will appreciate the concern you have for her.
Good luck!!!
2007-12-15 16:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I take it the father's not around? Or you don't have any brothers or otherwise any other male relatives to handle the "situation"?
Seriously, if you don't have those resources, talk to your daughter, point her out to resources that deal with domestic violence or things of that nature. Good luck...
2007-12-15 16:25:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to go buy this book tomorrow: 'Lethal Lovers and Poisonous People' by Harriet B. Braiker. Then you need to read it -- THEN you need to have an intervention.
2007-12-15 17:41:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If its this bad you might need to use some force for your daugters own good. Make up a rumor of somthing she will get mad at him for. Anything to get rid of this ***. Good Luck.
2007-12-15 15:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im impressed. You did so well. I can only imagine your situation. Unfortunatly- all you can do is advise, she and her boyfirend will have sex when they are ready. It may be tommorrow, it may be after her A-levels. I would recommend though, you urge your daughter to book an appointment at a family planning clinic. Your daughter will speak to a female specialist and they will have a good 'girly chat' about options/sex. I would also advise that it may be a good idea if she went on the pill. That way if they do have sex, your daughter is safe. At 16 I went on the pill and sometimes my boyfriend & I had urges. But because i was on the pill i was safe. Im 24 now and Ive never had a baby or fallen pregenant all beacuse i 'nipped it in the bud'. Good luck with the future, I think your doing a great job!
2016-04-09 06:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by Donna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit her down ALONE and talk to her about it. she really needs to get away from this man before he does something dangerous.
2007-12-15 15:21:21 · answer #10 · answered by Exotic Pink 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋