The more the merrier: how about another Christmas Story?

Question

Can you write an amusing tale using some (or all) of these lines? Have fun!

1. Pass the eggnog!
2. It's true. The dog ate it.
3. Eeewww! That's not chocolate, it's_____________.
4. Mistletoe is better than cauliflower.
5. I think my ears are frostbitten.
6. Are you trying to fill me with cheer?

Answer 1

Melissa whisked into the kitchen, shutting the door quickly behind her. She looked frozen - even her eyelashes were cold. "I think my ears are frostbitten," she whispered hoarsely. Todd, her younger brother, strolled into the kitchen a moment later as Melissa was about to take a sip of what she thought was hot cocoa. "Eeewww! That's not chocolate, it's the dog's laxative mix!" She frowned into the mug and set it down quickly.

Todd opened the fridge and peered inside, looking annoyed. He spotted his grandmother's traditional Christmas Eve dish - stewed cauliflower and beans (she was from the Czech Republic and they consume loads of it during the holiday season). He muttered, "Mistletoe is better than cauliflower," just as mom walked in from the living room. "How do you know - have you eaten mistletoe??" Melissa, feeling a bit warmer, teased a bit... "Ha.... get Todd even near mistletoe and he blushes at the thought of being smooched!" "Shut it, Missy," he scowled. A yet unkissed 14 year old was something that everyone seemed to know suddenly.

"Oh, Mom," said Todd, "remember that lame excuse that everyone uses about their homework?" "Um... yeah," she replied with a quizzicle look. "Remember how I had my final project all done for class before the winter break last week, and then somehow it got lost?" "Yes...... but please don't tell me you used that excuse." Todd, now smiling, said, "No - I was honest... I just told Mrs. Zacharias that the images of Machu Pichu heads I carved out of Lincoln Logs got misplaced - but I had digital pictures to prove I did the work!" "Ok...." his mom said, now looking at Gumby, the family lab. "But it's true. The dog ate it," exclaimed Todd, now laughing. "Ugh... that dog eats everything. So.. has he passed them yet?" Todd grabbed the cup of warm, liquid canine laxative. "No - but he will soon." Missy perked up, "Then you'll have Machu Poopoo!"

Her mom laughed out loud... Todd a little bit, not wanting to give her too much credit, but he knew he'd use that joke with his buddies and not give her credit for it. As he bent down, Gumby showed little interest in the cup, but Todd had a seasonal idea in mind that he knew the dog loved, "Mom... I need to mix this with something he likes...pass the eggnog, please!" Gumby, smelling the eggnog, started wagging his tail back and forth, thinking, "Are you trying to fill me with cheer?!"

Answer 2

‘TIS THE SEASON

“Boy, oh Boy!! Is it ever cold out there!” exclaimed George as he stood there shivering, and rubbing his hands together. “I think my ears are frostbitten, but at least I got the sidewalk and driveway shoveled.” Kitty grabbed a blanket and said, “Here, George, wrap up in this, and step over by the fireplace to warm up.”

George shivered as he said, “It’s cold as Hell out there!” Kitty laughed and said, “Not quite the way I heard Hell described—more like the fire in the fireplace!!” She went on to say, “I’ve been baking all afternoon. I just happen to have a plate of Christmas cookies waiting for you after you got done outside. These ought to cheer you up!! They've got sprinkles!!”

“Are you trying to fill me with cheer?” asked George. “Yes, ‘Tis the season,” answered Kitty. “AND my special eggnog. It’s got rum in it!!” George laughed and said, “You talked me into it. Pass the eggnog!”

“Actually, I’m hoping to get you drunk enough, so that you won’t care that you won’t be getting that steak you were expecting for dinner,” Kitty explained. George asked curiously, “What do you mean by that? Was something wrong with the meat?” Kitty laughed and answered, “No. I’m sure it was delicious. I had it out to broil, and was getting the pan out of the cupboard. The next thing I knew Lassie had it in her mouth. She’s that quick!” George said, “Oh! No! I was really looking forward to that. Lassie REALLY ate my steak? This isn’t your idea of a joke is it?” Kitty replied, “Sorry--It's true. The dog ate it.”

“Well, now what do we do?” asked George. “Order pizza from Formaldi’s?” Kitty answered, “I was thinking we might try that new place, “Roadkill Cafe.” George brightened at that idea. “I wonder if their steaks are any good?” he asked. Kitty replied, “Dunno! Maybe they have venison steaks. I’ve seen quite a few dead deer on the side of the road lately.”

“I was thinking after we eat, that we could stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things,” announced Kitty. “What do we need?” asked George. “Oh! Mistletoe and cauliflower, among other things,” answered Kitty. “Hmmmmm!!,” mused George. “Which to hang—the mistletoe or the cauliflower? Decisions! Decisions!” ....

“You are such a kidder, George,” Kitty laughed. “Everyone knows mistletoe is better than cauliflower.” George made a funny face, and stuck his tongue out. “Kind of a toss up really, “I hate cauliflower, and mistletoe is poisonous.” Kitty answered, “I am well aware of that, George, but everybody else likes cauliflower. I am going to make up a relish tray to take over to Mother’s for Christmas Dinner. As for the mistletoe, you know very well I always put a big red bow on it, and hang it from the light in the foyer.” George smiled, and said, “Ah! Yes, the kisses. I remember them well.”

“.....and then, tomorrow, we could go out to the Christmas tree farm, and pick one out. Do you remember where your little saw is?” asked Kitty. “I agree fresh cut ones are always nicer,” answered George. “As for the saw, it is still in the trunk of the car from last year. Surely, you didn’t think I would put it away??”

“Ok, Sweetie, grab your coat, and let’s go,” said Kitty. “I’ll drive. I think you’ve had too much rum.” .... “I’m on my way,” declared George. “Uh! Oh! What’s that I’ve stepped in? Please tell me it’s chocolate!!” Kitty took one look, and answered, “Eeewww! That's not chocolate; it's exactly what it looks like!! Darn Lassie!!”

Answer 3

quite possibly! can you give me until tomorrow? (*whispers* it's getting rather late!) thanks!! :)

♥