I am 16 and go to boarding school. By the end of the week I will be home for Christmas vacation with brother, sister and daddy for 2 and a half weeks. My sister (4 years older) and I have a rather strained relationship and we have barely even spoken or e-mailed or anything since summer. She ignores e-mails, does not return calls, and was cold to me at Thanksgiving. Things are by no means perfect with my brother but at least he will communicate like normal people do. How can I repair this or should I even try? I quench for a decent role model in the family but she is not providing that.
A little background: My mother passed away a few years ago, and then we moved because my daddy took a new job. She has always complained to daddy that he spoils me and my brother (in between our ages) takes her side. However, now daddy has a "no spoiling Lori" rule going on so she can't use that excuse any more. Why can't she just get over it and be a good sister?
Thank you and good day.
2007-12-15 14:23:21 · 6 answers · asked by Lori 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Hi Lori.It is unforunate that you and your family are not getting along as well as you'd like.Just because your sister is 20 does not mean she is more mature than you it simply means she is 4 years older than you.Sometimes it takes a while for family to appreciate each other,to love each other and to admit they need each other.Continue to do your best each day and go to bed each night knowing you cannot do more than your best.Perhaps you could ask your sister to do do something together on the holidays..Do you think she'd like to read Chicken Soup for the Sister's Soul.I gave copies of this book to my sisters when my parents died and wrote a special inscription for each one.I also bought a copy for myself.It is the little things we do with those we love that mean the most. I have three sisters and myrelationship is different with each one. My oldest sister is my sister-sister, my younger sister is my sister-friend and my baby sister is my sister-daughter.At 20 your sister is discovering a little about life and independence and a whole host of choices.You may find that in a few years you will have a closer relationship with your sister because her life will be more settled.Try to just accept your sister for who she is and love her .in spite of this distance.On Christmas day give her a hug and a kiss and tell her you love her and that your glad she is your sister.It may not help but it won't hurt.Take care. Merry Christmas.to you and your family.
2007-12-15 15:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by gussie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sucks.
Maybe something you could try is sharing something with her. When you see her, maybe tell her there's a guy you really like (if it's a co-ed boarding schoo) and you were wondering if she could help you. That shows her that you see her as your big sister and look up to her, and hopefully, she'd be proud of that and want to help you. From there, maybe then she'll have a reason to call you when you back to school and ask you how things are going with the guy.
Or you could think of some other thing you could ask her to help you with.
Or maybe just ask her a lot about what's been going on with her life and take a big interest in things. Maybe then she'll see that she enjoys talking to you and you enjoy it too.
Other than that, the only thing I can think of to do would be to just act very mature and nice to everone around the holidays, especially her and make sure she sees that you're grown up and not needing to be spoiled by anyone anymore.
2007-12-15 14:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try not to accuse her of not being a decent role model and not communicating like a normal person for not returning your emails or calls. I know I would be tempted to yell those things at her if we got into a fight, but, it probably wouldn't help matters.
You could tell her it hurt you that she didn't write to you or call you much while you were at school and that you wish you had a closer relationship with her.
It's not her job to be a role model for you though. She probably has a lot of pressure on her right now and may also still be angry about things that happened in the past. Try not to judge her harshly.
Enjoy your break:)
2007-12-15 14:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by crc00000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, Lori. Your relationship with Jillian has always been strained. And your always the one trying.
Mark is indeed a human, who has emailed me in the past, actually. Why not go through him? If you really wanted it, wouldn't he do it for you?
Otherwise, really prove yourself this winter break. Prove to Jillian that you aren't who she thinks you are, and that you want a relationship.
I want to hear good stuff.
And I'm on break as of this coming friday too! We'll count down the days quite anxiously, I assume.
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2007-12-15 17:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
enable her be she will proceed till you end. once you chase after some thing it frequently seems any incorrect way. My sister and that i finished talking for years and while she acted like a human than we began to speak. enable her come to you overlook approximately her she will began to experience the way you do.
2016-10-11 09:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are probably distant because of the death of your mother and all of the other problems your family has been having. i think you guys hould tell each other exactly how you feel about the other. Good Luck
2007-12-15 14:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kanesha J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋