2007-12-15 13:59:51 · 24 answers · asked by Ksenia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No but there is prob a reason. I wont give my husband BJ's because he treats it like a chore. If I do it, he wants it everyday.
2007-12-15 14:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by blah 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You don't give a whole lot to go on. Have you been married a long time? Are you still attracted to him? Is he to you? I have been married over 12 years and cannot stomach the thought of sex with my husband, to be honest. It's not a hormone problem or a hygiene problem or a need to light any fires or dress sexily. We've grown apart over the years and we are about as close as oil and water.
Usually, you need to consider how this started and why. Is it just something that happened over time and you cannot get back "into the swing of things" because it's been so long? If you can still look at him and he makes your head turn, then DO something about it. Even something as simple as snuggling on the couch (sometimes even sitting on the same couch can be a wake-up call!) Start slow, if you need to. HOWEVER, if you think about things and how you two ended up where you are now and you feel as if you're a piece of furniture - start talking.
It's not always hormones and a need for pills - sometimes it's just something that slips away. Take some time to think about the how and the why. Then decide from there what you think.... Good luck!!!
2007-12-15 22:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by inbetweendays 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not norm to not wanting sex.
In married life, sex and intimacy plays a very important role that keeps the couple together and love each other.
if that is absent, lot of things are weak in this chain. Do a self examination of your likes and dislikes and of your husband. Be careful not to blame him for everything though. It takes two to get this way. You are partly the cause. You have to discover what it is. You need some quiet thinking.
May be he is stinking. His way of having sex with you has become routine, boring. You know exactly what is and how it is going to happen.
In other words, the novelty is gone. The fire is out. Time to rekindle and rethink new ways. I do not know if anything wrong with you - no one can answer - only you can and your professional advisor can.
2007-12-15 22:28:24 · answer #3 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing what your sex drive has been in the past, we can't say if that is "normal" for you or not...your husband probably isn't happy about it though (and I don't blame him).
See your doctor to find out if there is a medical issue (hormones or some other issue). If it's not health-related then speak to a counselor about why you lack a sex drive...it could end up ruining your marriage if you don't find a way to improve the situation. Neither of you should find your sex life unsatisfactory.
2007-12-15 22:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend and I are going through something similar. I feel that I could go forever without sex. he could have it 3 times a day. It's really hurting our relationship. (obviously)
for me..I think the reason is that we aren't connecting on an emotional level. that means nothing to guys, but to most woman, if you don't have that connection in other areas of your relationship, its hard to have it in the bed room.
I think that this is common, but I wouldn't call it 'normal'. I think that normal husbands and wives both enjoy having sex on a regular basis.
I think that we are going to try conseling to figure out some things and hopefully that will help us. Maybe you can too, or at least talk to your hubby about what is going on.
Good luck.....
2007-12-15 22:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by redsox fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book, "The Proper Care and Feeding Of Husbands". This will help you get back on track.
No this is not normal behavior, but you can turn this around very easily. YOU CAN DO IT !!!!
Now let me put some of the blame on him. If he doesn't shower regularly, eewww yucky. I can't blame you. He may not know he has an offensive body odor. Maybe he doesn't practice good dental hygiene. If this has been the issue, tell him "honey, if you brush your teeth, shower, shave and put on some cologne, I would love to jump your bones". Trust me, he will go clean up his stinking a## if he wants to get intimate with you.
Best wishes.
2007-12-15 22:14:52 · answer #6 · answered by Charles S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not unusual, many women get that way. But to me, it's laziness coupled with a lack of a rewarding sex life. Men equate their wives' sexual interest in them with their wives' loving them. No sex, wife doesn't love them. Men put a lot of their self-esteem into their sex lives. That's the MAIN reason men cheat. Sex is important to most men.
You are selfish and unfair if you think you can be in a life partnership and deny your husband sex without repercussions, like him cheating on you, and his being very unhappy, too.
2007-12-15 22:12:13 · answer #7 · answered by VicStevens 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes two people to have a lousy sex life. If you don't feel desire there must be a reason, you could have hormone or libido issues. Why not talk to your doctor, and if there is no organic cause, talk to your husband about revitalizing your marriage, make some dates, flirt, revive the feelings you once had, maybe you both need to make more of an effort.
2007-12-15 22:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's normal with me and my husband I don't like sex that long. I mean I like it but after a while I want to do something else or my mind starts thinking about what I have to do the next day, that kills it so I think it's Quality, not quantity...lol
2007-12-15 22:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by TM25 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Norm" is a funny word.
there are some women that have sex once a day, some women once a month. It is "normal" for them, in their lives.
if you compare yourself to others, you may feel that most women are sex maniacs.
The fact that you question this indicates an uncertainly on your part. Truly, you have sex because you want to share this level of intimacy with your husband, not because someone told you to do so
2007-12-15 22:13:55 · answer #10 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did you get married? Do you love him? Has he inflicted pain on you? Are you pregnant? You need to discuss this with him and find out what is happening between you. What are you going to do if he has an affair with another woman because you aren't doing your wifely duty? It really isn't normal but you need to talk to someone. There are times when a married couple should abstain but it's not a forever thing.
2007-12-15 22:09:24 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋