My girlfriend and I have lived together for 3 years. When we first moved in together she was pretty good about helping me keep the house clean. Over time she got where she cleaned less and less and now she just sits there and reads or does cross word puzzles. If there is something she wants to do she will get up and do it. I'm not extremely picky about the house being cleaned but I don't like it when the sink overflows with dishes. There is only so much one person can do and maintain their sanity. Am I thinking about this all wrong?
2007-12-15 13:41:06 · 15 answers · asked by Tinker 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is she giving you head? If so, shut up about it.
2007-12-15 13:45:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Scott--this is a rare letter--most of the time the woman complains about the man being rather lazy----but it all boils down to COMMuNICATIONS ----we need to communicate frequently as partners--even when things are going good--say it !! Show you are happy!! And express the disappointment with some stuff in a nice non threatening way--talk about it at a time when there is no rush to say it--just pick an appropriate time---I am sure your hands will wash dishes as well as hers--offer to share chores--list who will do what. That should be a fair way to handle things. You can't do this by accusing and making snide remarks---just approach this as a household issue that millions face and you think the fair way to handle it is to share the work like you share everything else---good luck with this--Happy Holidays
2007-12-15 21:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have different levels of comfort with cleanliness... i can't stand a mess or dirty house.. never could. "Lived in" is almost too dirty for me, but i've come to accept it.
You could always talk with your girlfriend and let her know you feel that the two of you could make a cleaning schedule for each day and week.... perhaps you can both pitch in one day a week and get everything done at once... and then take turns keeping the kitchen clean, every other day -- or just do it together -- one wash, one put away.
Sometimes we have to ASK when we want things to change.. i'm sure that if your girlfriend was uncomfortable she'd talk with you ? Communication is something which does help things work out.
take care
2007-12-15 21:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat. My husband doesn't clean at all. I was anal about keeping the house clean when we first got together, but he just messes everything up again like a stupid five year old and refuses to keep things clean. It's really taking a toll on our relationship. I've lost all motivation to pick up after him and keep the house spotless. I'm so frustrated with it. You know its just like, I'm his wife....not his mother. You need to talk to your girlfriend about her habits though. Unfortunately for me, nothing changed. My advice to you, get out before she becomes a complete slob!
EDIT: Also, she may be feeling depressed or down about herself...like I said, talk to her before just blowing up on her. Then if she still remains a lazy slob...you have every right to freak out on her!
2007-12-15 22:08:19 · answer #4 · answered by Brittany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little things turn into big ones if not addressed.
Has she gotten lazy in other areas too? Is she happy with her job? Does she work more hours. Find out why she doesn't care about the house anymore.
2007-12-15 21:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by candy'sroom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to expect anyone who lives with you to do their share to keep the house clean.
2007-12-15 21:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you. The next time ya'll are both off. Go turn on the radio and tell her it is time to clean up. If she doesn't want to help then it is time to have a heart to heart and let her know how you feel.
2007-12-15 21:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by Bilinda G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, when someone just sits around and does nothing, it's ******* annoying.
Tell her to get off her *** and do something. It may start a fight but it's better than bottling it up inside.
2007-12-15 21:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by Js_5 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obviously she's become very comfortable with things between the two of you...have you ever voiced your concerns to her? maybe try doing dishes together? who knows...just talk to her
2007-12-15 21:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by starting over 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is creating an atmosphere of anger. If your smart I would get out now. It will not stop.
2007-12-15 21:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by arvindrenamed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right! cleaning dont hurt no one, but your girl expects you to do it, well, stop and dont lift a finger for a week and see if she pulls her act together!
2007-12-15 21:46:50 · answer #11 · answered by ~~eddie m~~~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋