me and my partner have been together for 4 years now he is older then me and we both really love each other he was my first for many things we cant imagine life without each other my only problem is i really want to marry him but when i say anything he just laughs at me and makes a joke out of it he tells everyone else he would marry me and thats good as before he said he would never get married but now he tells everyone if he was to get married it would be with only me, when he as brought me rings ive said which finger is that for hint hint but he says IF we ever got married you would have a better ring then that but i dont want to be dangling i want to know theres nothing more i want but i dont think deep down he feels the same i think hes affraid i have told him theres nothing to be scared of i have agreed to sign saying i dont want nothing money and property wise so i dont no what the problem is please help i dont no what to do any suggestions?
2007-12-15 13:35:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, I understand that you want to get married and he doesn't but a marriage license is just a piece of paper, I know you want the wedding dress, the family there and all that but sometimes there is more to love and a happy married life than a marriage license. Now if he loves you and can not imagine life without you, I think that maybe he is got to give in a little and go for it, because loving someone is about being selfless. You need to eplain to him how you feel and try to get him to see that this is your dream and special to you not just seomthing you want cause you want. Good luck and I hope you get your dream!
2007-12-15 13:40:03 · answer #1 · answered by ♀♥♂ LOVE IS A FUNNY THING ♂♥♀ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sound of this that he don't want to make a commitment with you, period. This talk about if he get married you will be the one. Why did he go out and buy a ring and then said he want to get you a better one. He should bought it instead the ring he brought the one he have now. Listen he is BS you!!! He said it in his own words that he never get married. Then why did he stay in a relationship that last four year without thinking that one day that the woman that he is with want to make a commitment? The best thing for you to do is to think about moving on.
2007-12-15 13:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only advice would be for you to stop hinting around about marriage and come right out and ask him if he is serious about the relationship and ask where he sees it going.
After four years together he should some inkling of what he sees for the future.
It's OKAY to let him know what YOU want and to let him know what your expectations are. You are 50% of the relationship.
But be prepared to take appropriate action. If the guy says, "Frankly, I don't see marriage in my future", then you should move on with your life.
Get out of the backseat...start driving!
2007-12-15 13:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by Rocky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 4 years of time is long enough. If your boyfriend wanted to get married, he would have by now. Since you have different goals, I would get out of this relationship. Why invest more time and energy into something when you don't like the outcome. I know this is must be hard for you. Good Luck!!!!!
2007-12-15 13:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by Rebecca K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to sit down and have a really serious talk with this man if the marriage thing is important to you. If he doesn't want to get married then you need to decide if you want to stay or if you need to go. 4 years is a long time and maybe he has a commitment phobia that you need to deal with. Good luck to you in this time.
2007-12-15 13:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Janice M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he marry you? He can get everything a husband gets from a wife and he has to risk nothing. You've already given him the milk... why would he buy the cow now???
Classic mistake.... there are reasons for waiting, for not shacking up, and for not giving it all to a man before marriage.... and you are an example of what happens when you don't wait or respect yourself enough to wait.
2007-12-15 13:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems you have two choices
1) Give up on the idea of marriage
or
2) Give up on this man and look for someone willing to make the commitment
Only you know which is more important in your life.
2007-12-15 13:38:12 · answer #7 · answered by Uncle John 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just not ready. Let him relax, and don't pressure him. He obviously loves you and wants to be with you and someday will want to get married to YOU, Give him a little more time without pressure, he'll com around.
2007-12-15 13:43:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.... This is a big chrisis, Just wait it out.. Im srry but thats the best, because if u keep asking, it will seem like your desperate. Just let him w8, he is maybe uncofortable in asking you, so find a right moment, then hell probably let out. Excuse my spelling, srry
2007-12-15 13:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the same boat.. and the same time frame.. but you got 2 choices... move on. and maybe or maybe not you will fell the same way about the next man.. or stay with the one you do love.. i am staying.. but i am thinking about him as a bf.. not a husband any more.. that the funny thing about living with someone.. you start to think of them as your husband or wife.. which they are not..
2007-12-15 13:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋