Do abusive men ever change?

Question

My ex was mentally abusive, having me trapped in a small village, was always leaving me for stupid reasons, despite being married, forced me into sex 8 days after a ceserean, I couldn't even roll over in bed without him questioning me,
He once tried to snatch our baby, and another time abandoned me on a dual carraigeway taking our baby with him
If I had an opinion on something it would be 'bye bi*ch'
I had to ask for permission to check my emails
I left him when he hit my daughters,
Now tonight 2 years on, I discovered he has created another baby after blanking our baby completely
I'm worried about the woman he's with,
Do they ever change, she has 2 other kids,

He's only nice to his friends, but he treats his parents like dirt especially his Mum,
When he talks he snipes

Answer 1

Elle, many studies show that abusive men do not change easily at all! If so, much therapy and anger management must be initiated...BY HIM! No person can ever change another! He has to be the one to desire to change.


Your last sentence asked, "Do they ever change?" NO, not unless they desire the change themselves! However, I am going to ask you a question...do you believe in God? Have you ever tried to pray and ask God for direction in this situation? Well, I do believe in God and the power of prayer. I will be praying that you will reach out to God. That God will give you wisdom and discernment when it comes to the welfare of you and your children! May God bless you and keep you safe.

gail

Answer 2

I have been in an abusive relationship before, physically and mentally, and I used to wonder about the other women he was with to, actually one time I told the woman he was with that he used to hit me and lock me in the house, she didn't listen to me, well a little while later he was doing her the same way, she finally got out, but I often wonder about ANY other woman he might get with. I feel like as women we need to protect each other and warn each other if we know a man has serious issues. So it's up to you on if you let her know or not. Now I am married to a wonderful man, and it really doesn't bother me as much as it did before that he may be abusing another woman.

Answer 3

VERY RARELY, close to being unheard of, but that's only after enough women leave them and what have you. But I would not chance counting on it!

Yes, be afraid for his new woman and kids! He's going to harm them as well.

This is coming from someone who was abused. Luckily it was not as bad as your situation, but it was bad enough.

I'm glad that you were able to leave and still be alive. But I am quick to point out leaving is almost never easy. People so busy asking the woman why she stayed and wants to pick her apart, they don't ask "why the hail he would do something like that!"

Good legit question that needs to be addressed!

Edit: You know, Police, I am HUMAN! I am NOT anyone's robot, I am not anyone's sex slave, I have thoughts and feelings, and am to be treated like the EQUAL partner, and if a man cannot handle that, he can kiss my shamrocks!

Answer 4

A##holes only change when they assume room temperature and take a dirt nap. A man that abuses a woman would likely suck another man's d#*k to get out of a a## beating. All the woman abusers I have met were either bi#ch a## punks or punk a## bi#ches. They are afraid to play that controlling sh#t with a man. F'n cowards they are.

Answer 5

Some times....but not often. if he would ever change it would have happened by now. You had said you two have split up, durring that time he would have turned himself around if he really cared about you or his child.
if you are concerned about the other woman he is with, then i would express your feelings to her. The worst that will happen is she says you are upset he is with her and not you and push your warniings aside and then latter when he does the same to her as he did to you she will feel like a fool for not listening. Chances are he has already displayed this action towards her and she may be looking for a way out and feels trapped and by you going to her you may be able to help her before it gets too bad.

Answer 6

Let me say to you, i believe they don't change. The man i'm married to hit me, cheated on me many times. Then he went to prison for 4 years, i left his @$$ while he was in. Then he got out this year in May,we did NOT get back together. He is with some one else now and i do believe he is still doing the same crap to her and i use to worry about her then i stoped only because she knows baout what he does to her and i'm pretty sure he hits her. You really need to just worry about youself and your kids. There is nothing you can truely do and i say run as far as you can from this @$$ hole..... Keep smiling and good luck...

Answer 7

Abusive men never change. They usually are that way because they have something to hide, like a girl friend on the side. Another reason for abuse is because you allow them to when you don't say, "NO!" Another reason is because they have low self-esteem and lording themself over you is the only time they feel like they have any control in life.

Answer 8

Very few change without strong intervention. If they're living in the same town as you, I would go to your local police and family protection department and let them know of your concern for his current girlfriend due to his past record of abusing you and your children by him.

Answer 9

No, a jerk like that one never would change. I'm glad you are not living anymore with that abusive guy, I feel sorry for the woman who's having his baby now.

Answer 10

Do Abusive Men Ever Change