How can a "man" show love for his wife more than his mom??

Question

Should he not love them both the same but for different reasons.
HIs mom gave him life and his wife shows him a new life.

I'm asking because I"m trying to understand an ex-coworker of mine who has said his wife will always come before his mom.-because she's HIS WIFE..(hes gone though several wifes for various reasons but HIS MOM is always there to help pick up the pieces...So I don't understand why he can't just love them equally...Is it wrong ??

WOW!! lots of insite on this...I see your point but I just don't understand why he would dismiss his mom just because he finds someone new. (YES dismiss his mom once he remarries he will have nothing to do with her) As long as he doesn't need anything he won't even call her...

Answer 1

You are correct to question why he doesn't continue a good relationship with his mother after he finds a new woman. I can only speculate that he has co-dependency issues that leave him feeling inadequate, therefore he disconnects out of spite once he finds a new enabler. I would have some concerns regarding his mental health. Unfortunately for his ex wives, women are natural care takers, so they can be vulnerable to such needy men.

Answer 2

Obviously it is a completely different form of love...it has nothing to do with equality.

I think that men, if they are getting married to a person they truly love, are making a switch in their lives and the focal woman then switches from mom to wife; a man should see his wife/ partner as his future, she will be the mother of HIS children, the keeper of his home...his mother, while she is the main woman in his life as young man and until marriage, has a duty to step down, so to say, when he marries. I know a lot of women that have trouble with their mother in-laws and I think this is the root of it all, some mothers cannot step back and let their sons become husbands and then fathers.

The wife is the future and the mother is the past.
At least this is my observation- nothing about it is negative just realistic.

Answer 3

Some men put their wives before their mothers because their mothers don't like their wives. The men who have to deal with this don't like their mothers trying to control their lives and thus refuse to constantly grant their mothers their time or love.

Other men simply did not have a mother they ever loved or liked- for various reasons.

You have to understand that when people enter relationships it's just nature to leave the family. That's how families are made, after all. We have children, our children grow up and leave, then they find someone and have their own children. In order to do this, we often have to leave our families behind. It doesn't mean we don't love them, it may just mean that by having them so high in our priorities may mean that they're getting in the way of us simply moving forward.

Answer 4

A man will leave his parents to become one with his wife - that is what the good book preaches. A wife is a husband's first priority so is the husband to the wife. In a marriage - there's husband, wife and kids. Not husband, wife, his mom and kids. No, its not a family unit and in laws are "extended family" once there is a marriage. Its not wrong to love your mother but its not proper to equally prioritize both women in a husband's life. There cannot be 2 queens in one hive.

Answer 5

A man's wife should come before his mother. Although that does not mean his wife's slightest wish should come before his mother's well being. When you get married you start a new family and that family should be your number one priority. My husband has a wonderful relationship with his mother but my son and I will always come first. How can you build a strong family together if you know that your partner places their parent above you? I think your co-worker has other problems that have little to do with placing his wife (wives) before his mom.

Answer 6

Once you leave home and marry then your wife should come before mom. That being said I believe that mom should be given the upmost respect at all times. Do you have more love for your man or you children? It is not a matter of equal love.

Answer 7

Hi.

Everyone has their own set of priorities in life, so we can't say what is right or wrong.

Psycholgists say, that unless there is an emergency or dire situation, we need to take our spouse's feelings and needs into consideration over everyone else FIRST.. including our children... which means, we need to consider their feelings, needs and what may or may not be convenient for them.

In my world, I come first... unless there is an emergency or dire situation, of course. Then a spouse would come second, then the kids.

The guy you are speaking of is probably putting his wife's needs first, because he has made a marriage committment to her.. perhaps that is what he means.

If his "mommy" always picks up the pieces, maybe he's not that competent ? who knows?

His level of love for his mom and wife shouldn't be anyone's concern... i don't see how it affects you, personally.

Answer 8

a man's first priority will always be to his wife and children. Does that mean he should love one more than the other, no, not necessarily. But when a man marries he becomes the head of the new household and that is his main responsability for the rest of his life. His mother will always be his mother but until she hits old age he is not responsible for her. He has to love her yes, but if to you "loving the same" means that if he is devoted entirely to his wife he also has to be devoted entirely to his mother than that's impossible.
Mothers have their special places, but spouses and children are at the forefront.

Answer 9

A person loves who they love. It's not up to you or anyone else to decide how much they should love someone, you don't live their life or have the relationship they have with those people.

Romantic love and family love are very different anyway...but if the guy loves his wife more than his mother, that's his right...it's his heart (whether you agree with it or not).

Answer 10

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