I really want to know what others might think about this. Yesterday my husband asked me to go to a concert by a band that I did not like. I reluctantly agreed, after much cajoling. When we got there he reminded me of a very important (to me) holiday party that we were missing.
When I asked him whey he didn't mention that when we were discussing what to do, he said he thought I knew already (when he had the invitation and I never saw it). He agreed that he did not forget about that other party.
Do you think he should have mentioned the other party to me? Do you think he did this on purpose. I do. I don't want to be angry but I missed out on something he knew was really important for a really bad concert by a local DJ.
2007-12-15 12:26:40 · 14 answers · asked by CiCi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It does sound like he wanted to preoccupy you so you wouldn't get to your party.
But it sounds like it's because he din't want to go. I would go about asking him, but trying to tune into why he would do that.
Is there something about your party that would make him uncomfortable? or is he jealous of your party? or was he not invited to go with you?
good luck
2007-12-15 12:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many think that a sin of omission is no less a lie. It sounds as if he manipulated you. I am not saying that it would have been less selfish for you to have asserted what you wanted to do...seems you would have been at an impasse, right? But to deliberately not tell you knowing that it would have created an issue, seems very deceitful. Hopefully this is not a pattern. Sounds like some discussion and compromises are in order.
2007-12-15 12:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course it was on purpose. He had the invatation, but kept it from you. He agreed he did not forget. He knew you wanted to go. He knew it was important to you. And while discussing what to do, he "worked" at getting you to the concert, that you did not like. If he just wanted to go out, he would have mentioned it. Yes, it was on purpose, it is what is called an unspoken lie, it was manipulating. I think it was horrible of him to do that. Is he usually selfish like that? I know i would be pretty mad, especially with the fact he knew it was important to me!! I would question why he did not want me at the party.
2007-12-15 12:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by ferochira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't want to go, then why did you?
Sometimes we have to compromise and do things we don't necessarily want to do when married -- or else, simply do our own thing if we are that disinterested in going to a concert, etc., we dont' like.
I'm sure there will be other parties... and perhaps your husband will take the time out to do something nice for you sometime soon -- such as going somewhere with you, when he'd rather be fishing.
2007-12-15 12:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl get over it. He might not have known it was that important to you. Or maybe he did but he thought you remember it too but choose to go to the concert with him. Yes, it might be selfish to want you to give up the party for the concert but that's how men are. They are brought up that way, to reach for what they want. So next time, if the party is that important to you, remember it for yourself because he won't be remembering it for you. No big deal. Be glad your husband wants you to be with him.
2007-12-15 12:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer and its hard to accept that your husband wants the best of both worlds, especially if you have seen evidence for yourself....you need to be strong, move on, get some counselling to help you be strong and take time out and go stay with friends till you can sort out your emotions and what you want to do in your life.
2016-05-24 03:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by kecia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how deceitful my husband can be and that is why i dont compromise anymore. i dont DEPEND on him to entertain me. if i want to check out a concert or party, ill ask a friend or relative. the less i need from him, the better. im not encouraging you to spend time with other people. but when there are conflicting schedules, dont be afraid to stand up for what you want. men can be so selfish sometimes and detour to what they want. you have to nip it in the bud right away or he will try to continue this.
2007-12-15 13:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Kay-Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the Christmas Party was so important to you, why did your husband have the invitation?
I'm going with omission and not outright deceit.
2007-12-15 12:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He knew and he purposely chose not to tell you. God only knows what all he is doing behind your back and keeping things from you.
2007-12-15 12:41:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully your husband didn't decieve you but if you felt thats what he did, chances are you are right. Thats not a very nice thing to do.
2007-12-15 12:31:14 · answer #10 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋