My husband and I just had a miscarriage on Monday. We would like to try again- how long?

Question

How long should we wait? If anyone else had a miscarriage before were you successful the next time?

Answer 1

dont wait any longer start right now why you can

Answer 2

This depends on what kind of miscarriage it is and if you had it naturally. If you have a D&C - then you should wait 6 months for your uterus to heal and build up tissue again. If it was a blighted ovum or early miscarriage about 12 weeks or less - and you had it naturally - you should at least wait for one period before trying so that you know when you do become pregnant again it helps your doctor know the right due date and know how big baby should be at different times in the pregnancy so you will know if there are valid concerns or not. I became pregnant again with no period inbetween and the doctor thought I didn't know what I was talking about! Waiting is more for your practitioner than you. Of course, if you were emotionally traumatized by it and cannot stop thinking about the lost baby - then it's good to wait until you're emotionally ready - that's why alot of doctors will recommend 6 months. As long as you're taking a good prenatal and taking good care of yourself, and you're not depressed over the loss, there shouldn't be any problems in trying right away. Also, if you had a molar pregnancy - you have to wait 6 months for healing. If you had a tubal pregnancy where surgery was involved, it's best to wait in order to give your body recovery time.

Answer 3

I am so sorry you lost your baby. Not that its of any help to you, but I have always said there must be a reason for this to happen. You didn't say how many weeks/months pregnant you were. I would give your body a chance to recover from the trauma of the miscarriage. Give yourself at least three months before you think of getting pregnant again. Just enjoy each other, if it should be you did get pregnant, then it was meant to be. My friend had three miscarriages and also one termination at 7 months as they discovered the baby had a thing called potters syndrome (baby had no kidneys) it wouldn't have survived living outside her womb. She was devestated (understandable) on the up-side, she went on to have three beautiful children. I hope this gives you some comfort. Just try and enjoy Christmas and see what 2008 brings you. I wish you all the luck in the world. xxx

Answer 4

This can be the most difficult topic of all, because everyone has an opinion, and your doctor and your friend's doctor, and internet sources, and your mother, and your partner will all say different things. You will personally go from wanting to try again RIGHT NOW to never wanting to try again, sometimes in the span of five minutes. You may not agree with your doctor. Your partner may not agree with you. You are already grieving, and upset, and feeling like a failure, and thinking too long about this topic can make you feel so very much worse.

Accept that there are many opinions. Let me tell you a bit about why.

Doctors are trained to recognize that a woman needs emotional healing, but not really to help them or explain it to them, since it goes beyond their "bones and tissues" type of practice. Three months is considered the average amount of time a women will grieve hard over a loss, and will have a difficult time (and be a difficult patient) if she gets pregnant prior to that. While there are a few doctors who believe that your uterine lining must take three cycles to get back to rebuilding itself fully each time (especially after a D&C, where it gets scraped pretty thin), most doctors know that it doesn't really matter in about 80% of the cases, and getting pregnant again right away does not carry any increased physical risk or miscarriage risk.

So even among doctors, some will say the standard "wait three cycles" and might even scare you into thinking you'll have another miscarriage if you don't wait, and others will say go ahead and try again now.

From what I've seen, you really should wait for one cycle to complete, because if you do not, you will experience one of two situations, both of which will cause you much unnecessary grief and pain:

1. If you do get pregnant again before having a period, you will not establish a reliable Last Menstrual Period date (your miscarriage date is of no use). You will run into lots of problems when you go in for your first prenatal sonograms and blood tests, causing you tons of grief (often for nothing) and can wreck your relationship with your doctor (supporting the "difficult patient" theory.)

For example, the blood test will say you are six weeks; you will insist you are eight. The sonogram will not show a fetal pole yet, but you have read that you should see a baby by now. You will think your doctor should do something, but he or she will just say your date is wrong and come back in a week. You will spend a week of torture, wondering if the baby is dead, and why do you have to wait for answers. All these things can be avoided by knowing your LMP, or preferably ovulation. Most of the time, the babies are fine, but sometimes you are having another miscarriage. Everything is murky because you don't know for sure when you got pregnant, because you didn't complete a full cycle.

2. If you have retained tissue, your period will be "late" (although all post-miscarriage periods take more than four weeks and are late) and you can even have a POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST, but you are not pregnant. This is hCG left in your system from the miscarriage, which has not completed. You may begin bleeding and cramping and think you are having another miscarriage, but you are just still going through the first one. We have had women on the site grieving over a 2nd lost baby, naming it and everything, when it turned out she only had missed tissue from the previous loss. Having a D&C does not guarantee that all the tissue was taken. About 1/4 of the women on this site with missed tissue had a D&C. If you did not wait for a real period, you will not know if a pregnancy test really means you are pregnant again, or if your loss has become a long drawn-out ordeal.

Additionally, charting and even ovulation predictor kits are not reliable tools during that first cycle after a miscarriage, and the body will put out lots of signs of fertility or lack of it as it tries to adjust itself. Women may be absolutely sure of their pregnancy's gestational age, and still be wrong! Once you get past that point, try the sperm meets egg plan to see if you can speed up the trying again process.

On the other extreme, not getting pregnant that first cycle, or for the next few, when you are fervently trying, will actually push your grief further down the line, month by month, and it can really be detrimental to healing, your life, and your relationship. Often your life will completely revolve around trying again and you will feel even more a failure, more unable to cope. This may also happen if you wait, but is more likely to pull you into a clinical depression if you are not yet dealing with your loss and are still having some hormonal upheaval.

Even if you feel like you are fine, the grief is really out there, and you need to work directly through it. I don't worry about the women who write about crying and saying they can't go on. They are working through their pain and grief. I worry about the woman who just wants to try again, and doesn't mention or think about the pain of losing a baby.

In the end, this is your life and your body, your baby, your future, and your decision. Make your choices well, and try not to look back.
Monitoring a New Pregnancy

Some doctors will respond to your worries and bring you in for additional hCG tests and early sonograms to monitor the new baby more closely. Most will not do anything. It can be frustrating and scary to think about waiting until 8 or 9 weeks to see the doctor, when every day brings a new twinge or cramp or cervical discharge that makes you panic.

I think it is reasonable, if you have had only one loss, to still request an early blood test and a sonogram at 7 weeks to see the heartbeat. This will reassure you. If you have had more than one loss and no healthy babies yet, then you should be able to request more frequent monitoring of your hCG and progesterone levels, just to see where the pregnancies are failing. This could help give you a clue as to a cause
5 days ago

Answer 5

Yes, my husband and I did. We had three children and were trying for a fourth when we lost it at 9 weeks. I was devastated, but the doctor said it was probably due to the little one not developing properly, and that we could try again as soon as I felt fit. I fell pregnant very easily with the first three, but it took nearly a year to conceive again (perhaps we were just trying too hard?). Our little daughter arrived safe and well, with no dramas through the pregnancy.
Its also a fact that up to one in four pregnancies don't go to term, with most miscarriages so early its just like a late heavy period.

Answer 6

My dear god - I am so so sorry to hear this. you and your husband must be going through hell. I m/c 6 weeks ago, and had my period last week...think they say in between 4-8 weeks you should get your period. You will hear lots of stories about when you can and can start trying Again, the general conclusion I have come to is that there is no right or wrong and that's its purely down to when your emotionally stable. But lets face it - after what we go through we will never get over it. I really do wish you all the best, and good luck with trying to conceive - however make sure you grieve for your loss too. xx

Answer 7

I became pregnant 1.5 weeks after a miscarriage!

My doctor told me it was okay to try immediately, but some recommend waiting. Most women are very fertile after miscarriage because of all the hormones. Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm so sorry this happened to the two of you. That must be so hard.
I don't think it's suggested to try for a month or two. You have a better chance of getting pregnant and carrying to full term if you let your reproductive organs heal from the miscarriage, and I think that's usually a couple of months or at least a full cycle from now.
Good luck, I'm so sorry for you guys. :-(

Answer 9

To start, I am very very sorry to hear that you had a mis carriage. Doctors usually reccomend that you wait up to a year so your body can heal. But I think you should try again whenever you feel like you are ready. My sister and my mother both had mis carriages. I almost had one with this pregnancy becuase I was bleeding heavy at first, and the hospital told me I was going to have a mis carriage, and I never did! So that was a shocker. But think positive. Give it another try when you are ready. And best of luck to you. You soon will have you a little baby to hold. God Bless you and your husband.

Answer 10

Every doctor is different, some say you can try right away, some say to wait 3 months. My friend's doctor told her to wait 3 months to make sure she was all cleaned out, but she didn't listen and got pregnant the next month. She miscarried again. She listned to him this time and waited 3 months, and now she's 21 weeks along. Good luck.

Answer 11

Wait at least a month, to get your cycle back and to allow your uterus lining to thicken (making implanation easier). I got pregnant 4 months after my miscarriage- it was successful, and we are now pregnant a 3rd time. Good luck!