I left my husband back in April of this year.I moved out of the state.He told me he wants me back and I have a feeling he is moving here in order to do that.Yes,I love him,but he has hurt me a lot in the past and I finally found the strength to leave him.Since April I have not dated anyone or had sex with anyone.He slept with 5 women and even had a gf he lived with.This is tearing me apart and I just dont know what to do.I love him and miss him very much.We are married and Id hate to get a divorce.My gut is tellin me to stay away from him and my heart is tellin me how much I love this man.I know everyone is going to tell me not to go back to him.Would it be wrong for me to give this marriage another chance??ps:we dont have kids.
2007-12-15 11:48:53 · 20 answers · asked by Rain 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a cheater. If you want him back, take him back, but you better buy condoms and get tested monthly for STD's. He isn't going to stop.
2007-12-15 11:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all the details but you obviouly were not happy with him. Ask yourself why you truly left the first time. He had no problem moving on so that makes me question his feelings. Do you really want to have someone like him back in your life? If I split from my husband and I knew he was sleeping with other people without us being divorced I would be sick to my stomache. I do not think I could be intimate with him anymore. Nothing would ever be the same. All those hurt feeling will always shadow the relationship, I would say move on you derserve to be with someone who will truely love you. Untimately this is a decision you will have to make. Do you think you can trust him again?
2007-12-15 12:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say don't give it a chance, but I would not move in with him for at least 6 more months to let him know you're not a doormat. I would insist on counseling, if he refuses walk away. I would lay down some ground rule for the future, if he can't follow them for six months, walk away. Refuse sex until he gets tested and a clean test comes back. But only you know how much it hurt and how hard it was to break free the first time, if you can't bare the hurt again then having him in your life is not worth it. If he becomes aggressive be prepared to get a restraining order.
2007-12-15 12:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by maduckford 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, that is really up to you. I don't know if you meant he had those relationships with other women while you were married or afterward, or what issues lead you to leave him. But if you have gone so far as to move to another state, you are on the road to reshaping your life without him.
You need to decide if together you can solve the problems you had, and if it is worth it. Often when we let our heart rule our heads is when we make the biggest mistakes, but also find the greatest happiness.
What I am wondering about is if he had these relationships after you left how you even know about them. Why would he tell you, if not to hurt you?
2007-12-15 11:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he gives you HIV or some disease> Would you still want him back>Go with your gut feeling as it thinking better than your head>What would change only his partners>Your lonely find some 1 to talk >Just to break the chain>Go out get away from his memory>If you start seeing him again expect the same drama> but worse as he knows he can get away with it>Sorry I'm single see all this before>It's your call get some help>So you can understand why you feel pity for this cheated>Best of luck hope this helps nice talking at you>
2007-12-15 12:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut feeling sweetie...trust your gut. It seems that during the time you've been apart he has just used it to sleep with whomever. He hasn't cared about how you've been feeling because he's been having too much fun. Be thankful there are no children involved. I know how you feel when you say you love him but think back to all the hurt he's caused. You don't need or deserve that. You have to decide if you want to give him the opportunity to do that again. As the saying goes "Fool me once shame on you...Fool me twice shame on me". I know how you feel....been there...still love her with all my heart but I can't allow her the opportunity to hurt me like that again. Only you know the answer to your problem. I'll only say this...Why should you care about someone who obviously doesn't care about you? Good Luck. I hope you find happier days ahead.
2007-12-15 13:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth did you write in if you don't want to read the truth? You better thank God you didn't birth any kids from this marriage. You need to move on before he give you AIDS or really cripple you. Look how you haven't been with anyone else. He have robbed you of your life long enough. Why are you so willing to lay your life down so he can finish taking your self esteem away from you? Do what you please.
2007-12-15 12:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are really only three things to consider. One- Do you WANT to make this marriage work? Two- Do you really have AT LEAST hope that he wants to make your marriage work? And Three- Can the problems that caused your separation be fixed, or at least put into the past? What I think, or "everybody" thinks doesn't matter. Only you and your husband can answer these questions. And unless the answer to all three is yes, then your answer has to be no, as far as getting back together.
2007-12-15 11:59:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that the two of you see a marriage counselor prior to getting back together b/c there will surely be trust issues, and also he needs to get in touch with what-ever (with-in himself) that is causing his infidelity, other wise he will continue to practice irresponsible sexual behavior. No it would not be wrong to give your marriage another chance b/c a part of the wedding vows states "for better or worse" so yes it is a good idea to try saving your marriage, but plz proceed with caution....... counseling.-------GOOD LUCK
2007-12-15 12:04:02 · answer #9 · answered by libbyM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first off he is a cheater and why in the world would you want him back ? I mean chances are that if you did take him back you would end up getting a disease or having your heart broken again and again. Nope if it were me I would not put myself through that again . good luck and i hope you make the right decision.
2007-12-15 12:19:18 · answer #10 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your woman's intuition [your gut] was given to you for a reason you ignore it at your peril this is a protection mechanism and you are free to ignore it but if more women listen to it there would probably be fewer battered women in this world, as most of the know there is something not quite right with the man they are dating before they marry them, not that abuse is their fault it isn't i just think more woman need to listen to that little voice that we all hear sometimes when we know something is wrong
2007-12-15 11:59:06 · answer #11 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋