What do you think his issue is? tired of marriage?

Question

My husband and I both working during days, but I'm the only one who picks up after my children, I even did all the yard works. Is our marriage over, yeah I do love him, but what he doesn't made me wonder if he loves me and our son back.

Answer 1

Do you know the word intoleration ? If somone has this in a relationship it is a bad sign. If your husband is most times happy, and lovign to you then its not that , but if He seem to angry at everything , and can not stand any trouble from you or your son then this is intoleration. I give you an example, two people married, one person has secret girlfriend/boyfriend, then that person alot of times will act arrogant and angry often and act like you are not as important before. They feel powerful more because they have someone else and can become more hateful after time. It can be time goes by and change people, It is almost always true that people are much diffrent at 30 year than 20 year and simply become imcompatible. Study the word intoleration and see if this fit your husbands act.

Answer 2

I don't think he's tired of marriage. Why would he be when he gets to go to work, come home and have everything else done for him?
If you are both working then the housework shouldn't be all yours to do. If you were a stay at home Mum, then the greater part would be yours, but not in this situation.
Personally I would communicate to him, that as you both share the burden of working and bringing in an income to the family, then you should also both share in the house and yard work. Perhaps suggest to him that you can't do two full time jobs, so you will have to give one or the other up. Either do without the extra income, and he takes on a second job, or he helps out around the house. Its the only fair thing isn't it?

Answer 3

It always seems like the Woman always gets the brunt of the responsibilities that goes with the Marriage. I have been Married to my Husband for 49 years and I have done more around my House than he has, for all the years we have been Married, the only difference in us is that I have never worked, not because I did not want to, but because back then the Woman's place was in the Home. If you feel that your Husband is taking his responsibilities for granted, you should mention to him that you also contribute money wise for the expenses of the Household, and also the responsibilities of the children and the work around the House, so, if he wants you to keep on working he better at least do the outside work of the house, you are not a work horse and he needs to help you with the chores as well. if he gets angry if confronted with your suggestions, ignore his outbursts and don't back down. You also asked if he was getting tired of being Married, the answer is no, he knows he has it good with you.

Answer 4

Yes,... I think you need to talk to your husband. I do not think your marriage is over. I just think you have hit a rough spot, most marriages have them, so it is not your fault or his I think it's just the way it goes sometimes. you are feeling down and sad about how your relationship with your husband is going, you should feel safe and secure enough to talk with him about it. Like you said you love him, and I am sure he still loves you. The issue is that both you and he need to open your ears and listen to what each one is saying. Chances are, he is feeling uneasy and unhappy about something’s and you obviously are as well. You need to have some time together where you and he can talk and let each know who you feel. It needs to be understood that you both love each other and are not trying to start a fight when you talk. Then one person should say how they feel without the other interrupting and getting defensive, than when one is done the other should say how they feel. You all are keeping to much in and to yourselves. The only way to get through this is to open up and be respectful of each other and share how you feel. Chances are the things that are bothering you all will be able to get worked out if your willing to listen and both give in a little for the one you love. It will and can not work if only one gives in some or if neither of you give in. Both have got to be willing to make allowances for the other and want to make the marriage work. My thoughts and prayers are with you both and your child. =)

Answer 5

seems you are unhappy about doing all the work around the house? understand how you feel.

time to have atalk with him and have him share the burdens of bring up the family and housework and free some time for you and him....together.

some men just dont do housework and enjoy themselves at home. or could he have helped but you just didnt let him to?

sort it out and it should not be whether the marriage is in question or not....its just an everyday problem.

Answer 6

Men are sometimes hard for women to understand just as I have never been able to understand women after 64 years of trying.

I think you got some good ideas in your answers. You 2 need to talk to each other and may need a good marriage counselor to help you.

I know your husband is Asian too. Do Asian men believe that work inside the house is women's work and outside the house is man's work? That often is the case with American men too.

The culture in the USA is still changing. When I was a boy, it was the woman's role to take care of the house and kids and it was the husband's role to take care of things outside the house. This included earning the money for the family (this was not only cultural but according to the law also), painting the house, and Yard work.

The feminists said they didn't like that set up and wanted the husband and wife to each split the same roles and each do 1/2 and 1/2 of each thing. I think in a lot of marriages, what happened was that women went to work outside the home and kept the tradtional in the home as well.

It was a Superwoman's role but women were told, "You can have it all, baby!" by at least the radical feminists. In more recent years, I think that at least some women are re -examining things and would like some of the old traditional woman's role but keep some of the feminists rules also.

Men have never been consulted about any of this and at least I don't know where all of this gender role changing and also staying the same is going to shake out in society.

So, many people like you and your husband may have different expectations of who does what. That's why communication between you and your husband is so important. So that each of you can talk about how you are experiencing life together now, what each of your gender role expectations are, and how you can work things out so that the family work load is not one sided.

Now Hemei. Let me ask you truthfully. How could it be possible for any man to get tired of being married to such a beautiful and wonderful woman as yourself? It's not possible! And it's not possible for your husband to be tired of you either.

How far are you along in your pregnancy? Could not some of this be because everything is harder and more work when you're pregnant? Personally, I don't see how women are able to do it. But you do it anyway.

I remember that in the past you sometimes wrote of anxieties that you had and you also wrote of how often your husband tried to reassure you of how much he loves you. I was married for 17 and 1/2 years and I remember that when my wife and I were being "cool" to each other how we would both get angrier and also feel more unloved by the other person.

This continued until 1 of us made the first move to make up with the other person. You have power because you can choose to be that first person to make a move towards making up.

This is a little personal, but have you and your husband been having a hard time having sex in this stage of your pregnancy? Not having sex with each other is a sure way of feeling distant towards each other. As a RN, you know that if actual intercourse is uncomfortable that there are other ways for each of you to give each other sexual pleasure.

Some women think that if they have sex with their husband when they are angry at him, that they are prostituting themselves or something like that. Since I know that you are Christian, I can say that one of the reasons that God created sex is so that by some unknown way, when a husband and wife are angry with each other, after they have sex together, many of the anger issues are miraculously healed.

I know that when I was married, both my wife and I experienced this if we could set aside our issues and feelings long enough to have sex with each other.

What ever the issues, you and your husband have my best wishes and my prayers.

Answer 7

If the only way you see and feel love is through house work and child care then you need to get yourself help before you work on your marriage.

Answer 8

Don't let your diving up the work load determine your marriage status. You may be just having a moment and if not tell him your expectations in a ay that doesn't offend him. Good Luck to you guys.

Answer 9

I think he loves you, you just need for him to give you a reason for his behavior. Some men lack motivation as well as some woman. I would let the yard go to the point that he would do it himself. Tell him what you want.

Answer 10

You need to talk to your husband. Tell him how you are feeling and what you need. The key to a successful marriage is good, open communication.