Sharp contrasts - extreme unfairness- how do i cope /manage ?

Question

at this time of year everyone is portrayed as being happy and enjoying the festivities- families together- partners, man and woman together - boy and girl, lots of money, expensive house holds, expensive presents etc. warm homes.

but what does a person like me do ?

who lives alone in a one bedroom flat on sickness benifits...no posessions except a computer...no carpets on floor.

i suffer with borderline personality disorder, ive had a miserable life, sexual abuse, bullying,..never made any friends....never had a partner....never been employed....ive physically aged in the face....im bald...have physical imperfections....torn ankle ligaments....im overweight have 2 missing teeth.
i have no one to turn to except a mum who is ill and aging...but whos done her best to be there for me.

what about my hopes and dreams...i feel forgotten about...bitter and resentfull of the happiness i see everywhere around me, it reinforces my loneliness & isolation.

im at extreme DISADVANTAGES in life...criminal record...no employment history etc.
my goals are to live in my own home, with a loving partner, living by the coast, in a small village, small population, with an okish job...with love acceptance happiness..

but how will i achieve those things at this late stage?
plus all those happy people around me, those smiling faces is just rubbing it in....making
me doubly aware at what i dont have....what will i do?

Answer 1

Sorry but life is what YOU make it. I too would like to live in a house by the coast but I'm stuck in in a house in west London - a miserable area. Tell yourself there is no such word as CAN'T - you owe it to yourself to at least try. Instead of feeling so sorry for yourself why not see about getting out there and volunteering to help others over Christmas. You might even make some lifelong friends xxxxxxxx

Answer 2

You keep asking this question so your obviously not hearing what you want to hear which suggests to me you are the one with the answers, by repeating the same behaviour you will get the same rewards or not in your case like you've said it's potrayed that everyone is having a lovely fun filled christmas but that didn't just appear, no, those people who aquire this way of life have done so because they wanted this so worked towards it and it's not rocket science that's what you have to do like the rest of us.

Answer 3

You are really sabotaging any chance you may have, with all of these what some would see as 'petty' concerns...I know they are not petty to you, but to others, they are all things that can be fixed, to be honest...but worrying about them, constantly obsessing about them, is only going to serve to keep you in a stagnant, frozen frame of mind...You are better than that. you are bright, witty, imaginative, and seem like a man with wonderful morals. Those are really the things that count, honesty, truthfulness, faithfulness, sensitivity...things that many men and women lack today...you need to stop putting yourself down, and basing your success, on what you do or do not possess. You are unique, one of a kind, and it is up to you, to stop dwelling on things that depress you, things that you can change, but you never will, as long as you use your time to sit and worry about them..I realize it is hard to move forward at times, believe me...sometimes, people, places and things keep us cornered, and we can't seem to budge...but you must never lose sight of your dreams, and aspriations,...and try to start utilizing your time, to find out how you can solve all of those things you hata about yourself...Be who you are, and you will find that somewhere, you will find someone, who will love you for you, not some man or someone else, you tried to be...God Bless

Answer 4

When u reach rock bottom, the only way from then on is up.