As I lay dying, My soul of black
Bleeding crimsoned blood of pain
Tearing my life apart, these meds
Pushing everyone away, my addiction
Screaming as the drugs take over
Feeling them, making the pain go
Nothing but happiness now remains
Looks of shame to me, yet I laugh
Whispers of disapproval seep into me
Why should I care, it's my life
This will lead to other things
They taunt me with it.
That empty pill bottle, with my name
As I feel no pain, I again cut
One, Two, Three, HAHAHAHAHAHA
It bleeds, darkness and then...
Comes the overwhelming sadness
Telling people not to love me
Begging them to leave
Screaming, Fits of rage enter me
Taking over my drugged state
Passing out again and again
To take more yet the next day
And now this last time...
A full bottle, I couldn't stop
Myself, laying here, paralyzed
Feeling my breathing coming rapid
My heart racing, then finally giving in
Fading into the blackness of death
2007-12-15 09:37:18 · 4 answers · asked by Steph! 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
BTW... Incase the guy who said I listen to Evanescence, I don't... thank you... this is what I feel, and I'm sorry that you think it is inspired from someone else, I accept your input though.
2007-12-15 13:08:49 · update #1
Well I hope you meant for people to see your poetry, because it would be a dam shame to see talent like this go to waste. I suggest you seek people like yourself and enter poetry contests. Maybe your depressing feelings will be no more. Good Luck!!
2007-12-15 09:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I pray that you don't actually feel this way, as it is a very dark, lonely poem. A reaching out for help and trying to find someone who cares. Just suppose that death is not the end, but that the soul returns to the Maker and the troubles of this life can follow. I think that Poe wrote a lot of dark stuff, too. God bless you.
2007-12-15 17:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by hillbilly 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but it sounds to me like you've been listening to too much Evanescence. It's OK to be inspired by someone else's writings, but the first thing that popped into my mind was "Amy Lee." I don't want to say your poem's bad, or to discourage you in any way, but when you submit your writing for criticism, sometimes you don't always hear what you want to. Keep trying, and never give up. And always accept criticisms in a positive light...
2007-12-15 21:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you suggest is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
All I can offer is this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9dnP_Ome6o&feature=related
Steven Wolf
2007-12-15 18:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by DIY Doc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋