mark has a 7 yr old son that he has joint custody who he is totally detacated to. He gets such joy from being with his son its all he can talk about. We are to be married next mon. and looking at houses to buy and I happened to just say something about a nursery and he just ignored me. Later he said to me he hoped I would not try and push him into having a child and if I wanted one it would be a deal breaker. I was in shock as he loves his son so much and wants to be with him 100% I guess i just thought he would what one with me too. When i asked why all he gave me was excuses nothing that made any sence. Now his child was planned not an accedent and was the only reason that keep his marrige going as long as it did. 1st marrige. So can anyone tell me why he would be so against having a child with me when he loves his 1st child so much?
2007-12-15 09:18:10 · 7 answers · asked by Gfhf F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Because it is a huge commitment to have a child, much bigger than marriage, and if something goes wrong with your marriage - which seems likely - he would be torn in 3 different directions. But honey, you don't sound ready to have a marriage with this guy, bc you don't seem to know him well, and you haven't talked about the most basic things in your relationship.
2007-12-15 09:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by eldots53 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With children comes responsibility. He may not want the added responsibility of another child. Perhaps he chooses to invest as much as possible in this child, to groom him to be a success. Perhaps, he needs enough time for this child to become a young adult, who's less dependent on him, before he would even consider a new child.
The possibilities go on and on.
However, if children are the deal breaker, I would not chance it. Perhaps he will walk, or perhaps, he will take one look at the new child, and become overwhelmed with glee.
It's the chance you take.
I personally would have found out before marriage whether he desired children or not.
Therefore, I would have the option to move on.
Sincerely
Sista,
thumbs up.
2007-12-15 17:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by sista_sista_sister! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because a lot of relationships cannot survive children. Don't get me wrong, kids are great BUT they do add stress to a relationship. And some relationships just cannot survive that. It changes everything. Talk to him some more, let him know that you really do want kids. If it's a deal breaker, then it's a deal breaker. Sorry.
2007-12-15 17:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by Scooter_The_Squirrels_Wifey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may love his son to bits, but having a child is a huge responsibility. It takes your time, patience, and money. Maybe one is all he can manage at this point in his life. If you two are getting married soon, I'm surprised this hasn't come up sooner. If you've got your heart set on having a child, I see problems in your marital future from what you've told us.
2007-12-15 17:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by siava101 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is something you two should have discussed long before the wedding! I guess he just doesn't want more kids...one may be enough for him since it is expensive to have children. It also may be he thinks he is too old to have another child (you didn't mention his age) and just doesn't want to go back to the whole baby thing.
2007-12-15 17:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they might not think that it would work out the same like....somthing might go wrong n the second cause of not paying attention to one as much or something like that its not that the man DON"T want one its that he might b scared that it might just not turn out the same
2007-12-15 17:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by michael_3579 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
child support....................
2007-12-15 17:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋