How do you tell if your hideous co-worker is a demon?

Question

I mean I threw a stapler at her head and she didn't even bleed

Answer 1

hahaha... yeah, that thrown stapler trick is pretty much a dead givaway... but to answer your question, if she spun her head and caught the stapler in her mouth and chewed and swallowed it, then she's a demon... but if it hit her head, then her demon senses arn't yet fully formed thus making her a demi-demon... better quit your job sometime in the coming year though...

Answer 2

If the television drama, "Charmed", has taught us anything, which it hasn't, demons typically are models with only minor cosmetic alternations to indicate their evil nature (designer horns, odd colored contact lens etc.). They would also have us believe that they are capable of generating fire balls in their palms and are then able to throw this at an unsuspecting victim (who, incidentally also is a model).
I suspect you didn't throw the stapler hard enough so you might want to put some more stank on it next time, or perhaps use a heavier, sharper object (like a machete or a broken bottle). For a more creative approach, you could also reenact the Spanish Inquisition and employ the old trial by water routine - throw her in a river and if she doesn't drown she was a demon and should be burnt at the stake; if she does drown, she was innocent and you can all rest assured that justice was done.

Answer 3

There is a checklist that exorcists go by that might be able to help you in determining whether or not your co-worker is a "demon."

1) Vast knowledge / Psychic ability.
Here is an ACTUAL account from the person who compiled the checklist: "I remember one time while in the U.S.A. a young man I was with suddenly turned to me with only the white of his eyes showing, and a strange voice said to me , 'I know who you are.' Demons have knowledge." Color me convinced.

2) They have the capacity to speak.
Again, quoting my source: "Sometimes they use a human mouth to speak through, but most of the time, they operate by planting their thoughts in the minds of people. The subtlety of this is that they usually do this in such a way as to suggest that the the thought from them was really from the person himself! For example, a demon may cause the thought to come in your mind, 'I don't feel like praising God', or 'I wonder what is on T.V.?'." Talk about scary.

3) Chops off your legs with a chainsaw. There was no further explanation given for this one.

4) No bleeding when stapler thrown at head.
Well there you have it!

Answer 4

Follow her into the ladies' room and see if her reflection looks like a tower of flames.
The no bleeding part is an issue. But if you can somehow sneak a hand grenade into her smoothie things will be alright.

Answer 5

properly, cherub, there is this modern-day exorcist noted as a "wellbeing care provider" who can prescribe magic potions which could help treatment her of her ailment. As for the stoning ingredient, properly, a pair of hits on a bong could chillax you and open your techniques. Yep, that's the answer, getting stoned at lunchtime with your co-workers ;)

Answer 6

Stab her through the heart.

If the blood is red, she's human. If the blood is green, demon.

Keep green blood sample to vindicate yourself on charge of murder.

If blood is red, run away very fast and change your identity.

Answer 7

Check underneath her desk for the gaping maw of Hell.

Answer 8

If you don't like her...
then she's probably a demon.

Answer 9

try sprinkling holy water at her when she turns around

Answer 10

try pouring some scalding coffee on her and see if she flinches