my son hates to be put down?

Question

my son is 7 weeks old and hates to be put down. i have tried two different types of chairs, a moses basket, tried to swaddle him and tried a play mat but still no joy. A dummy helps for a while, i have no problem with holding him all day in fact its lovely but i am worried the more i do the more clingy he will get. He is also in bed with us as he just scream and sceams in his moses basket. Has anyone else had this and do they grow out of it or has holding a baby all day made problem in the long run.

Answer 1

I don't know the answer but can tell you my situation. Since day one i held our baby all day long. This continued until she was able to crawl at 8 months,she was still clingy but not as clingy. I have to say I found it hard to cope, I had to get my mum in law to take her for a few hours a week to give me some space.I'd get into such a mess especially when she started teething & would cry non stop if i put her down. I had the health visitor round all of the time who said i was too soft. She's now 13 months & walks, She actually struggles to break free if i hold her now so it does get better.
My suggestion is to get a sling now so she can get used to it, my girl wouldn't go in one but i tried when she was about 6 months, you should be able to get her in one at 7 weeks.

If your happy to hold him then don't worry about him being too clingy.I have never known a baby to be as clingy as mine through the tough first year & like i say , now i can't keep hold of her, she's extremely independant.She gives me cuddles & kisses every so often & if she's upset or scared she'll come running to me which im glad of.But I no longer have to have her attatched to my hip. I have to say looking back, it was probably easier when i was holding her as now I have to chase her around all day to make sure she's not getting into mischief lol.
Also she co-slept, we've gradually got her to sleep the first half of the night in her cot after falling asleep in our bed, then at about 5am she comes into our bed for her bottle & back to sleep until 8am.So don't worry it'll even itself out.

Answer 2

Well at 7 weeks, our daughter was (actually still is) very clingy. They haven't learned yet that they are safe so the only way they feel that was is to be in your arms (usually Mom more than Dad if you're breastfeeding).

For now, you will probably just have to build up the arm muscles to hold him a lot. Not sure about the Moses basket, as we just kept our daughter in the bed with us (but since we have a king bed there was lots of room).

As he gets a little older you can try exercises where you step out of the room but continue to talk to him. That will help him learn that while you won't always be within eyesight that you have not abandoned him.

As others said also, wrapping him tightly in a blanket (burrito style) will also help.

Answer 3

My son just turned 8 weeks old. I spent the first 5 or 6 weeks holding him constantly for the same reason. I finally bought a Moby Wrap and he loves it. It allows me to hold him, while leaving my arms free to do what I need to do. My son also hates the swing and the vibrating chair. He is just getting to the point where he is noticing toys, his mobile, etc. Sometimes he will lay for a few moments under his mobile or on his play mat. His play mat plays music and lights up. I have found that the Jungle Play Chair and his Einstein Baby play mat distract him for about five to ten minutes. My son also sleeps in our bed with us. I do whatever I need to do to keep him from crying. But, do a google search of the Moby Wrap and check it out. Try and find a place in your town/city that sells them. It has been a godsend for me. Good luck.

Answer 4

The more you meet his needs the more secure he will be in the future. NOT meeting a babies needs, or meeting them sporadically makes a baby clingy.

My son was always with me, in my arms, slept with me, never left with a sitter until he was 8 months old. Now most of the time he barely looks back as he runs off to play BUT he knows if he wants me I'll be there.

Once he learned to walk (at 9 months) he has been running away *lol*.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t131300.asp
Attachment studies have spoiled the spoiling theory. Researchers Dr.'s Bell and Ainsworth studied two sets of parents and their children. Group A were attachment-parented babies. These babies were securely attached, the products of responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented in a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues. All these babies were tracked for at least one year. Which group do you think eventually turned out to be the most independent? Group A, the securely attached babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of parenting styles on children's later outcome have concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory is utter nonsense. Pick them up quickly and they'll get down quickly. A child must go through a stage of healthy dependence in order to later become securely independent.

Answer 5

Have you tried using a carrier such a baby bjorn (not sure if that is the right spelling). Have you also tried to put the basket in bed with you? I haven't had this problem. My daughter kinda grew out of it. Now days she is almost seven months old, and doesn't like to be held all day. Enjoy it while it lasts. :) You could try this thing called a co-sleeper, that attaches to the side of your bed.

Answer 6

You should let your son know, that you will always be there for him, no matter what he decides. Let him also know that you think he is gifted etc. Better don't put down the girlfriend or demand he'll separate. Parental opposition to a love interest has frequently the unfortunate result of fortifying a commitment, rather than dissolving it. You might ask questions, like 'doesn't that seem odd, that she..?' etc., but don't press the topic, if your son doesn't bite. If he complains about her, listen and ask, 'what do you want to do about it?', but don't give unasked for advice.

Answer 7

Mystic and Daa are 100% correct.

Our son was like this- moreso than our daughter. I bought a sling and he was content all the time in it.

With our daughter, I had a few slings- and our son started to call them "Magic Slings" because she would stop fussing the moment I put her in it.

Here are some:

www.hotslings.com
www.newnativebaby.com
www.mayawrap.com

For later- www.babyhawk.com

We use the babyhawk now- and it is so comfy!

Babies become less fussy and MORE independant when they are responded to. Think of it: they know someone is there and have a stronger foundation than a baby that is left to fuss.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Your baby is used to three main things about you; the feeling of your heart beating, your breathing pattern and motion. My daughter did the same thing. For the first month and a half I let her sleep in our bed at night with us and during the day I put her in her swing. Then I put her crib in our bed room and lay to sleep there. She still heard us breathing and was fine at night. In the last 3 weeks I put her crib in her own room and she sleeps through the night in her own crib. I have her swaddled with a soother and she is fine. I think you have adjust the baby to sleeping by themselves. Hope this works for you.

Answer 9

Had the same problem with my son. The problem the child does not like to be still. Your best options are baby swings, vibrating or moving chairs, or vibrating or moving bassinets. They are in constant motion inside you so it is difficult to adjust after birth.

Answer 10

i think they grow our of it. my son is 4 months and he will now sit in a chair with some toys and play untill he gets tired. he now sleeps in his crib in another room most of the night and i go get him when he starts to wake up around 4am and put him in bed with me for a few hours. my son would sometimes watch tv if baby einstine or chartoons were on. you can also try turning on music which would work sometimes.