I have been friends a man for four years now.When we first met we were both married.I am now divorced.Our relationship grew from friends to more last year when we began kissing but no further.I moved out of the area and now have returned.We got in contact again and were right back where we left it.He is still married .We arent sexually active but talk everyday several times and I have no idea if we are real good friends or more could come from this.He has said he is stuck and this whole thing is outside the box for him.He loves being around me and always misses me and I miss him.Is this a full blown affair ive somehow created all on my own here?I love him but would hate to be the one to make a good man tainted by my temptations or is it vice versa?
2007-12-15 08:30:47 · 20 answers · asked by meli 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Walk away...
You are in love with a married man... the wages of sin is death!
Of course this is an affair, sex isn't the only grounds of an affair. Cheating begins in the mind... you two have kissed... it's just a mess and you are actually in love. The sad thing is to him, it's not love. If it were he wouldn't be married and messing with you. He'd be divorced and dating you.
Trust...
He's not going to leave her. Believe that... and so you have a choice, if you can live with yourself knowing you are ruining a marriage then continue... but my advice is let the door knob hit em'! Find you someone SINGLE!
2007-12-15 08:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are both adults...no one is responsible for anothers actions. But know this : MEN DON'T LEAVE THEIR WIVES.
If he wanted to be with you only, he would have gotten a divorce and moved forward. You are being used. Find your own man and your own life and stop all contact now. It is the healthiest thing to do. You will miss him, but you will get over it and no other doors will open to you until you stop this affair. Then and only then, can a good man/relationship come your way. Doesn't THAT sound interesting? You deserve better.
2007-12-15 16:59:47 · answer #2 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not married so you are not having an affair. He is married and he is the one having an affair. Tell him you have no interest in being the other woman. You are worth more. If he wants to pursue a relationship with you, then it is up to him to get free from his marriage. Make no guarantees that if he does leave her that you will be the one. You can find out what is on his mind.
2007-12-15 16:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by Doug 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is an affair. Some would say it is only if you h ave intercourse that it becomes an affair, but it depends how open the marriage is with him and his wife. If you wouldnt tell her about talking to him several times a day, then I would say there is something not right with it. Listen to your gut, dont get hurt. And remember, they almost never leave the wife.
2007-12-15 17:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by Mo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're having an emotional affair. I'd suggest you put a whole lot of distance between you and the man you're involved with. He's obviously not leaving his wife for you, but feels no disloyalty about kissing you, etc.
He's already told you he's "stuck" which I see is him telling you that you shouldn't expect him to change his life for you.
Don't fool yourself. He's cheating and you are cheating. It may seem difficult to walk away, but for me, the real difficulty would be living with myself and knowing I allowed this to continue.
2007-12-15 16:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by Flock of Seagulls Haircut 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it is an affair. Even at this stage, because if his wife knew she would be hurt. He is probably acting differently at home because of this situation and that isn't fair to his family. Leave him alone and find a single man.
2007-12-15 16:44:17 · answer #6 · answered by grneyes8621 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Damn right your having affair. Affairs are emotional as long as physical.
A emotional affair can destroy a relationship as fast as a physical one.
If the emotional affair continues sooner or later it will turn physical, you know it, I know it everybody knows it.
If that happens then you become a home wrecker, do you want to be that person?
2007-12-15 16:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. E 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not an affair yet but don't feel sorry for him because if he really liked you he woudl leave his wife and I bet he won't. Because he wants you to ahve on the side. So move on without him before he breaks your hert.
2007-12-15 16:40:11 · answer #8 · answered by John S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are both at fault and it is an affair. Shame on you. If he wants you then he should divorce his wife and then get together with you. It really sucks to be cheated on. There is no justifying this relationship you have with this guy.
2007-12-15 16:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by Fergy 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're inviting trouble into your life: that man's married, home wrecker, that means he's taken, stop what's going on if you don't want to be heart broken, you're only amusing him, if he'd care about you, he had left his wife a long time ago, lol
2007-12-15 16:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by Idon'tlivehere 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋