I find myself going to the market, writing letters, taking them to the doctor's or post office even cooking for them. Just to get a thank you I don't know how to say no. I feel they need me. I want to know am I the only one?
2007-12-15 07:11:26 · 17 answers · asked by Sugar 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
I love doing it. I just wonder is this my calling, because I do it so much.I believe we were put here for a reason Could this be mine?
2007-12-15 08:02:43 · update #1
I like to help people in need. I don't feel obligated to do it, I do it because it pleases me to do so.
I think it's nice that you're so helpful to people, however if you can't do it in the right spirit, then it's not really much of a gift of yourself, is it? Perhaps this may be happening if you are doing too much and feeling drained.
I do think you need to set boundaries if you are feeling that you "don't know how to say no", and the help you are offering is beginning to overwhelm you. This can happen if you feel that people are taking advantage of your good nature and using you. Be careful to offer help only when you really feel you are giving worthwhile help to a worthy person.
You are living a good life by offering your service to others. Make sure you take very good care of yourself too. Sometimes people who are so generous-spirited in what they will do for others, find that it becomes more and more expected of them and less and less appreciated. I hope this isn't happening to you. If it is, may I suggest reminding yourself (and them if necessary) that you are happy to do what you reasonably can, but sometimes you are not able to, it may not be convenient, or it may not suit you to help out with that particular task at that particular time. It's important to have boundaries - people will respect you more for it and recognise that the time you are giving is a precious gift and not to be taken for granted. Also, you will find if you nurture yourself well, you will have more to give!!
Keep up the good work of your service to others, but know that you, too, are worthy of a little help and a break sometimes!
Best Wishes to you.
2007-12-15 07:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Someone brought up a good point. Sometimes it is possible to do too much and then the person stops doing anything. How about taking those people to the market and letting them help with the cooking. They need to stay active too.
2007-12-15 08:27:00 · answer #2 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No I can't say that I have ever felt obligated to help people at all. I just do it cause I want to. I enjoying doing things for people. I may get a thank you for doing it and I may not. Some offer to pay me and some don't, even if they do offer me money I don't take it. I am not doing it for the money, I just do it cause I want to help others out when and if I can.
2007-12-15 11:10:56 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes. I have to always remind myself of the golden rule of survival, which is.....if you can't afford to lose it, then don't lend it out of give it to another. I had to learn how to take care of my own basic needs FIRST before I help others. I still help, but now I do it differently than I used to. A person has to do what they feel is the right thing to do. If you feel good about what you are doing for others, then it feels right & there is no guilt to drag you down & cause more worry!
2007-12-15 09:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That depends on who the person is and the circumstance....If a person looks raggedy and ask for food i'll get them something to eat i woun't give cash as i would be guilty of enabling if that person were to use it for alcohol or street drugs.
In situations such as Feed The Children , i absolutely feel some obligation.
2007-12-17 02:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by mrrtt4851 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel obligated but you should help people in need. Everyone should. God sees what you are doing and why.....you will reap what you sew. There will come a time in life when you will need help and God will send help.....so think about that when you are helping someone out because it's a wonderful and selfless thing to do. God Bless You wish there were more people like you!
2007-12-15 07:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by Annalise 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes.....it was also a revelation to realize people use people with kind hearts in order for them to not have to try, change, or exercise other options. There are those in real need and those who just don't want to break a sweat....the trick is knowing the difference.
Most people I've known in real need aren't out there with their hands outs demanding more.
2007-12-15 07:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had an elderly man next door that was bed ridden. I cooked him homemade meals, which he truly enjoyed. He discontinued his meals on wheels. Went shopping for him. Mowed his yard. Eventually I helped him get a scooter, so he could ride outside and get some fresh air. His name was Homer, and he was a good old country boy, I miss him
2007-12-15 07:33:14 · answer #8 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not at all...most of our generation had a poorer start than they did.We didnt ask for hand outs just battled through till times got better.
2007-12-15 22:36:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel obligated.. except with my parents. It's good that you help out so much, but don't stretch yourself too thin. Sometimes you really do need to say "no".
2007-12-15 08:39:23 · answer #10 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋