We have been married for 10 years, we have 2 children still at home with us. I work day shift and he works 1130p-730am. He has various days off during the week while I have steady weekends. The problem is that he does absolutely nothing around the house. He says its because he has a penis and I don't. I work a full day and then come home to a sinkful of dirty dishes, laundry to be done, housecleaning and general other stuff. On top of that he is always making comments that we do not have sex. Like I am ever in the mood. Tried counseling which was so much fun that I would rather stick needles in my eye. When we first were married I was home and had no problem doing the housework but the past 4 years of working outside the home and then working more at home are really taking its toll. So my plan is to hire a cleaning person for the bigger chores and tell him if he doesn't want that then he has to pitch in. Any comments????
2007-12-15 03:39:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband also doesn't help at home. I'm a SaHM but still I'm tired by the time he gets home, then I have to cook dinner, clean up after dinner, bathe the baby, get her ready for bed, read to her, get her in bed, then clean the house...and most the time as I'm cleaning it, he's messing it up behind me!!! He says it's cause he works and I don't so it's my job to take care of everything...but I mean I get up before him in the mornings, go to bed after him and get up with the baby in the middle of the night...I need a break too!! So I started not doing his laundry and stopped cooking for him and he got the hint for a little while...now we're back to the same old **** and I'm fixing to just stop doing ANYTHING all together and let him see what I have to deal every day...men are just so selfish and lazy...
2007-12-15 03:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Meagansmommy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to realise he has to do his fair share Now if it was me i would tell him i would cut his **** of and then he wouldent have an excuse. No its not fair on you. Maybe you could clean only you stuff don't wash his clothes. So he will have no choice but to do his own.
It seems your at your wits end and yet you love him explain to him your so rushed off your feet that your tiered to have sex. Tell him if you could do just a few jobs for me it would give me time to spend some quality time with you, give you some more tlc. A little sweet talking.
Do things like a treat if he helps out like i will treat you a drink. A little like a dog do as your told and you will be rewarded.
Men are stubborn gits my husband is lazy. But hes had the ultermatium from me help me out or get out. It worked.
2007-12-15 03:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk this out tell him that you are no longer the wife that stays at home and cleans that you work as well. If he wants to continue to get that extra income that you bring in tell him he needs to start doing his portion of the household chores. Tell him that if he starts helping you out around the house the lack of sex may change.
He needs to be told that his sexist remarks piss you off and
that he has just as much responsibility to take care of the home he lives in as you do. That with two kids and the house work and him sitting on his butt all the time you haven't the energy to pleasure him, but that could change if he is willing to get off his butt and help you out.
He must be told that marriage is a commitment and a compromise and your a team your suppose to work together to make life easier as a couple.
RIGHT NOW IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DEALING WITH A LAZY SEXIST JERK GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.
Last thing get the maid just tell your husband your money your making is going to a maid because he is too lazy to help out.
Being a man we watch money and if we see it going somewhere we don't like we make changes well most of us do.
2007-12-15 03:52:54 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go on strike! Stop cooking and cleaning up after him. Leave his laundry in a stinking pile and tell him that this situation has to stop!
I told my husband that I expect the place to be reasonably clean and tidy for when I arrive home from work and he's been helping out a bit more.
2007-12-15 03:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess.....another reason you are not interested in having sex with him is because you have gained some weight and he has mentioned it. There is nothing that turns off a woman faster to that man's penis than for him to notice a weight gain. Now for the chores around the house. Tell him you are only doing half the chores. That's it. When you were home full time you had the time to do everything, now you have two full time jobs and you don't have the energy to get everything done. Then just let it slide. He'll get the picture when there aren't any clean dishes or he doesn't have clean clothes. Tell him if you get chores done together over the weekend, it will all get done faster. Good luck.
2007-12-15 03:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
please contact your local social services - explain the situation to them and ask for help - this is free. in certain circumstances they may arrange alternative accomodation for you - but it is more usual for the man to move out when a small child is involved. in the worst scenario you will have to find a woman's refuge. please inform your solicitor that the situation is now dire. the law in this country will look out for the best interest of the child. if you own the home then make sure your solicitor does not allow it to be sold - if its rented then you need to walk away. local housing associations will rehouse you - maybe grotty but you will be hassle free. please explain to a friend and say you just need some advice not side taking. contact your family - can you not just go home or has your child no passport. please start with social services they will help you good luck
2016-03-16 00:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow some like your lazy chauvenistic husband or only do for the kids and let him see how he feels to look after himself.
Or ask if you have some sick days comming take em be sick stay in bed and see how he cops and how he like taking care of things meals kids etc...
2007-12-15 04:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by Magus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men that don't contribute to the housework in the home don't respect their wives or their marriage.
I would consider going to another counselor on my own.....all therapists are not created equal.
2007-12-15 04:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you mow the grass and take care of the vehicles and so on. I know with my wife she takes care inside the house and I take care outside the house and teh cars. right now I have to change the brake pads on her car. but if you dont like him not helping out then leave him.
2007-12-15 04:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire that cleaning lady or quit your job and stay home.
2007-12-15 03:51:30 · answer #10 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋