My husband Terrance of 3 years is a very negative person. he always have something negative to say. I don't get him something. Even if it's dealing with me he's negative. However, when he goes to work he is totally different he fools the people at work to make them think he is sweet, nice guy, but he he come home he is mean and hateful to me. What can I do to make i him positive. I'm tired of him being negative so much.
2007-12-15 03:29:08 · 13 answers · asked by LivingMyLife 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfourtuntaly.... negative people stay that way and are that way all the time, everywhere.... If he is able to do the 'nice guy' crap at work, then he has the ability to be not be negative, he is simply choosing to be negative with you.
I say discuss it with him, tell him how it hurts you and how it brings tension... if it doesn't change within the next few months, be aware that whatever you are experiencing will be for the life of the marriage. I am sure you saw this negativity in him before you married him, and now it is worse. Understand that it will get worse over time. Do you want to have this kind of life after 30 more years?
2007-12-15 03:41:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he is a lil happier at work. Perhaps when he comes home he is frustrated or something is going on at home and he deals with it by being a negative person. Maybe there is something in life that just isn't sitting right for him and he just don't know how to cope with it so regardless if he knows if it is right or wrong he just chose to see it in a negative way. Just continue to be positive and show him that everything is not bad. Sometimes if you grow up with a lot of issues in your life as i did you see things that way, (just as i once did). my husband has always been the positive one and i was sooo negative but being around him has changed my whole perspective on life. It's sad tha the has to have two different personalities(one at work and one at home).I can see that it can cause a strain on your relationship, because it did for me. the key to having a happy marriage is being open and honest with one another about how you feel.
2007-12-15 03:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Thang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think my big struggle with being and staying positive is the negative voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough. I think it is my insecurity talking!! I try to just stop the thought if it is negative and think something positive instead. Also I can't keep being all moody and self pitying if I think of how many people in the world are really suffering. It makes my problems seem tiny. Oh and I try to write 3 things that have been positive in my day every night! Maybe watch Pollyanna - the most positive film in the world!! xxx xx x
2016-04-09 04:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how awful it makes you feel when you have to live with a person who only sees and says negative things.
Tell him you would like him to have the same attitude with you that he does away from the house.
If he still won't change I would seek counseling on my own to figure out a way to handle his problem.
2007-12-15 04:08:12 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to consider some professional intervention. It sounds to me like he has some issues with either the marriage or something else and he is taking it out on you, Get some counselling and have a mediator there so you can ask him WTF is going on.
Really communication is key in any relationship and if he Mr. negative then it is going to end up destroying your marriage
and your life.
You must talk to him tell him he needs to stop treating you like crap or he is going to lose you.
2007-12-15 03:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember being moody in front of your partner only is a way of being emotionally controlling. Mood swings that only change for your partner is a sign of someone trying to sub-conciously control you. look up husband mood swings on the web, you'll see what I mean. He is trying to conrol you by keeping you down so you will not want to go out without him.
2007-12-15 03:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by shaunie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that his negativity is affecting you and that you think that he needs to change. That it is affecting your relationship in the worst way and that you wouldn't be telling him this (the truth) if you didn't love him. Negativity is a bad thing, it helps NO ONE! Get him some help.
2007-12-15 03:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by Myanna513 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN'T!!!
Ladies quit thinking you can change your man!
They might make minor changes like putting the toilet seat down or taking their shoes off at the front door, but other than that they are the person you supposedly fell in love with for better or worse.
2007-12-15 03:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by Leaveamark 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is lead by example...He is going to remain a negative person unless and until he decides to make a change...
2007-12-15 03:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your the problem in his life. if a person is always negative then he will be at work. sounds like to me its something to do with you. ever think you might be to positive and it makes him sick of ya?
2007-12-15 04:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋